no one ever warns you that love is so painful.
heartbreak? car crash?
i couldn't tell the difference.
did i fall in love, or off a cliff?
both seem equally pleasant.
looking back, i'm not sure if you were kissing me or cursing me.
                                                                                                               (i'm sure you meant me no harm)

your voice, your smell, your smile;
these are all things I will never forget,
locked in a gilded display case in my mind until I die.

l-o-v-e is a four letter word i only barely learned to pronounce before my tongue and heart were ripped from my chest and open mouth.
i now sit in silence.
i wish that i could speak again, so that i may curse the universe for this torment.

slowly, i forget what my heartbeat sounded like,
how it felt to love.

sometimes we laugh,
but tears always follow.
sometimes we smile,
but inside, we're hollow.

the eyes tell everything,
but not many can read.
genuine care and some lovely hugs,
maybe that's all we really need.

what you think,
isn't always true.
i promise,
i'll be there for you.

your beautiful smile
is what gets me through bad days,
but i cry inside because
it utterly hurts to see your sad gaze.

your lovely kind words,
they make me flatter,
but nothing's compared to
your love that's grown fatter.

honey, with me you don't
have to bother lying,
because i see it in your eyes-
they're no longer shining.

all i want is nothing more
that to see you at your happiest
even though
you go through the nastiest.

because i long to see
those lights again,
together we'll pull through
this horrific pain.

these last few words
i have for you-
you're strong, you're incredible
and i love you.

**(a.p)

I'm not scared of death.
I'm not scared of pain.
I'm not scared of ghosts
Nor monsters.
I'm scared of myself
And what I'm capable of
How I treat myself behind closed doors
Cuts here and there
Blood stains underneath my nails
I'm scared that one day I'll end it
Before I even realize what I've done

I opened my eyes
And looked up at the rain,
And it dripped in my head
And flowed into my brain,
And all that I hear as I lie in my bed
Is the slishity-slosh of the rain in my head.

I step very softly,
I walk very slow,
I can't do a handstand--
I might overflow,
So pardon the wild crazy thing I just said--
I'm just not the same since there's rain in my head.

I don't know how to react, I relapsed the pain is dragging me back..
To a place and time that I never thought I need back..
I see that, I'm too weak, a million thoughts, I can't speak..
Eyes wide shut I can't see..I guess there was a reason for that plan b..
An escape route, I hate how, Youve been feeling distant as of late now..
You're slipping, far away. To get back to you I'll find a way..
Whether it be today, tomorrow or my final day..ill love you forever hey baby..
My eyes burn, it's my turn. The right to misery that I've earned..
I've made mistakes but I've learned, you're everything my heart yearns..
My hearts broke, **** mixed with cigar smoke now I ****..
Puff puff ash it, by myself no passing, wish I had the answers to the same questions I keep asking..
Holding tight to memories, my demons own the best of me..
It's like my past keeps testing me, you can have whatever's left of me..
I know it's not much but it's all I own, you're a rolling stone I'm rolling ******, in your arms is where I called home..
Evicted, I've been cast out, future dreams diluted by past doubt..
All night I stayed up..crying for you til I passed out..
Woke up back to the nightmare, karmas a ***** and she don't fight fair..
Until you figure if you wanna love me or leave me I promise I'll be right here.
Where you met me. Alone and scared.