I'm not following you
But you are my destination
So our paths are the same

          *You're heading to a dead end
                 You'll have to turn around
                  And choose another way

Stepping outside
my dark cave of thought
I enter the "real world",
senses jolted
like walking out of
the imaginary world
of a darkened theater
into  blinding sunlight.

The sun's enveloping heat,
Woodpecker's rat-a-tat
search for insects
on a nearby tree,
twittering songbirds
flitting  across clear skies,
purple Iris' lacy edges
beginning to turn brown,
newly budded tree branches
waving in the wind,
grass clippings
giving off their sweet scent,

And in the near distance,
sounds of other humans
going about their
daily business of living,
overlaying Nature's sounds.

A little bit of guilt
stirs beneath the surface,
chiding me gently
for the waste of a day
which others call Reality.

And I wonder,
Is my private little cave
of creativity
any less real?

Eileen Auger
5/12/14

I'm so filled with self loathing
I have a problem believing
Anyone could love me
And then you happened
You, with your perfect grades,
And perfect family,
Perfect everything
It makes sense you'd want a perfect girlfriend
So why'd you settle for me?
Why am I next to you?
Me, the definition of average
It doesn't add up
Why is there an us?
Us, You and I
Perfect and average?
You're not a good liar
I can tell when you do
And it seems you're not lying
When you say "I love you"
I don't know what to think anymore
Because you've told me all the things
I never told myself
And I think I needed that
More than anything

I am being watched from every angle.
I don't know what to do and I am scared.
I want to be left alone.
Not helpless and afraid, no,
Just step back!
I don't need to go, I don't want to go,
Stop reading the words I write specifically to escape from
The world you brought me into!

Just stop....

Sometimes he let his eyes rest on hers, it needn't have been painful,
but it strangely was.
He broke a lifetime of avoiding eye contact to show her.
She was worth overcoming obstacles for.

Spinning, spinning, madness winning—
Psychopathic thought beginning—
Butterflies to catch for pinning—
Spinning thoughts inside my head.

To twirl the net and bring it down—
To trap the beast unto the ground—
Its screaming terror'd not speak a sound—
I stick the pin and pin it dead.

Its writhing, grabbing on the netting—
Sounds I wouldn't be forgetting—
Tapping, flapping, clapping, fretting—
Gradually slowing to a stead.

A cold and sweating, mad reaction—
I sense the tingling satisfaction—
And this is surely just a fraction—
A fraction of the blood she shed.

My carriage wheels had quickly turned—
The case at court was now adjourned,
So early home I had returned—
Returning to my home ahead.

It was a cold and somber morning
When I first received the warning—
A beauty carriage, now adorning—
Standing still at my homestead.

Curious, I stepped out and gazed—
Its presence there left me amazed—
Then I saw my dogs were caged—
Cold and outside, barely fed.

Gingerly I climbed the stairs
And pondered what'd await me there—
And then, this sight, this dark nightmare—
My wife and brother in my bed.

My curiousness then turned to strife—
My temper flared against my wife—
I silently retrieved a knife
To turn her lusting into dread.

I chose to **** Paolo first—
I stabbed his neck and watch it burst—
His silent death increased my thirst—
I watched the ******* as he bled.

Suddenly, my wife awoke—
The ****** mess caused her to choke—
Her agony, in me invoked
A sense of anger, sorely red.

She stumbled, falling on the floor
And tried to scramble to the door—
She looked so sad, so low, so poor,
So shameful as she crawled and fled.

I pinned her down, still writhing, grabbing—
My knife was quickly, sharply dabbing
As my hands were cutting, stabbing—
Stabbing her from overhead.

When she was still, I calmed at last—
Yet vengeance soon would have me cast
To Caina, treacherous and vast—
But it was done. Her blood was spread.