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I would never
Refer to myself
As a
Murderer.

There's no blood
Stained on my hands,

Except my own.
Fool me once shame on me
Fool me twice shame on you
That's the saying right
But it's wrong
The jokes always on me
I'm fooled by the everyday laughter
Thinking it's with me
Not realizing it's against me
It's the silent joke
An inside little laugh
The kids around me have
Could it be their laughing at my scars
The way the blade laughs at me
When I try to hide it
The jokes always on me
I'm not the comedian
I'm the comedy
A simple commodity
They sink their teeth in just for a smile
Am I less of a man
Because of the scars
Am I less of a human
Because I don't smile properly
I have a crooked smile
That's always upside down
The jokes always on me
Because I am the joke
The laugh of the town
The little **** ****** disregard
I'm a human yet you all make me feel
Like the jokes on me
The shadows over my face
Are the shadows of your backs
Turned and whispering the joke
Giggles turn to laughter
Laughter turns to glares
Glares turn to open wounds doctors can't stitch
Yet I'm always the ******* joke
Think again
The jokes on you
I'm the one laughing
All your lives are in my hands
I have 40 pounds of C4
This mall won't stand the explosion
I'll **** you all
I'll be the one to disappear first
Laughing because the jokes on you now
You're too stupid to realize
The joke became the joker
Chock on the ash of my laughter now
I'll tear your world apart
If you survive
You'll be the one with the scars
A perfect reminder of the joke I was
He left on Sunday and left her there
she trusted him and felt deep sorrow
As he told her "I will see you tomorrow"
For the long day, his lips felt open,
so he kissed a girl, and received no token.
She was so ***** and so poor,
his lips almost should feel swore.
On Monday she soon found out,
and her heart filled with despair.
She had 3 kids, but at the time,
she could hardly care.
Her world has end, her heart was broken,
all because her man had finally spoken.
He knew what he wanted, and it wasn't her,
she finally knew, that he's been cheating,
she has believed the lies that he has been feeding.
She was confused and felt very used.
Her kids were upset, and she was heavily crying,
her kids refused to leave and she wanted to keep trying,
she tried to forget it, she really did,
but its hard to forget something that was already done.
She had one son, that looked up to his father,
had one daughter who loved him like he was the only man in the world,
Its too late now for the mother, the feelings were cold,
for all this one kiss, and for all the times they shared,
there was no way, now how, that she could ever once more care.
if only I could slip into your little mind,
peer through your world,
understand each thought,
and your annoying vacancy,
to know how you see me,
the feelings you have,
before it's all too late,
and misunderstanding leads to us
and our departure.
?
what makes me so unappealing?
is it the way my thighs briefly touch then curve
only to meet again?
my crooked smile?
tired eyes?
the way my hair curls and winds?
my attaching heart?
my small, needy hands?
my glistening blue eyes?
the wishes in the fallen eyelashes that I neglect
to brush from my cheeks?
my age that doesn't reflect my maturity?
the gaps in my brain that can never be filled?
my skeptic heart?
my pulsing wrists perhaps?
my slender neck that curves too late?
the crevices from mountains on my cheeks?
how have I become something I promised not be be?
why do I lack what other girls have?
where have I gone wrong?
 Nov 2013 Shanay Love
Ary
Hope
 Nov 2013 Shanay Love
Ary
I was there
standing at the corner
it was dark,cold and smells
I was there
being laughed,scolded
judged and ignored
cuts and suicidal are in mind
but something stopped them
and left them behind
I saw a light
luminously coming towards me
I put a step behind cause I'm afraid
that it would influenced me
Then there was a hand
I grabbed it
It was warm and cozy
It changed my life
feels like the Spring is coming early
And the hand was HOPE.


a.b
There is always hope.
 Nov 2013 Shanay Love
Emily
Bye
 Nov 2013 Shanay Love
Emily
Bye
You are not here for me
So why should I
Be here for you
I have people
Who think I'm good enough
So why waste time
On one who makes it rough
It's so difficult
But I'm done with being isolated
So why love you
When your love is so jaded
Hate to say it
But every day
I feel us breaking
And that's no way
To live a life
So I guess
This is goodbye
Written about a week ago. Unfortunately it still rings true.

© Peyton 2013
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