Soft Rock Music
Old and New
No social media
Fan or Air conditioning on
Cold drinks standng by in great Thermos
Phones silenced
Hugs that go into the night
Amazing and loving moments
Easy and gentle

I sit there in my room each night
Wondering if this is what life is supposed to feel like

In my room, I cry alone
Just wishing I was ever known

I sit there on my comforting little bed
My safe place, crying till my eyes get red

I have a family, friends and more
But feel like i'm locked in a cage behind my door

I sit there on my bed every night
Just praying for me to feel alright

I put a smile for everyone there
Pushing down this feeling of despair

What’s life is like for others, I wonder every night
Just dreaming, in my bed, trying to feel alright

I sit there in my room each night
Wondering if this is what life is supposed to feel like

I miss watching your words,
always carefully chosen,
light up my screen.

I miss your laugh,
the way it was slightly different,
when you were talking to me.

I miss your face,
always carefully controlled,
even when I knew you were itching to smile.

I miss you.

I cradle hurricanes in my ribcage
while words swirl around my head.
I try to catch the good ones-
but mostly, I wish I was dead.

I do everything too much-
the joy, the sorrow, the dread.
Yet somehow, I’m never enough-
what a curious truth to be force fed.

If I laugh, it’s always too loud;
my mouth too sharp to make anyone proud.
Crying is a dangerous game,
I could sob away a city, drown in the blame.

My rage leaves no survivors,
as if I line people up on personal pyres.
When I vent, they hear preaching-
a sermon no one wants, a fear of my leeching.

I don’t love, I dissect-
obsessively search for the trap I expect.
I can’t just leave; I burn it all down-
the bubbly, funny girl wears a permanent frown.

I do too much and my inner child feels seen,
She's acting out, we aren't this mean
I just get scared when the vibe is off, and ruining the mood makes the blow more soft.

Despite the chaos I still crave love, an equal partner, wearing fireproof gloves.

I have all this love
And nowhere to put it
It's rotting inside me
Soft,warm
Unspent.

I reach out in dreams
But wake up alone
His name buried in my throat
Like a secret
I was not allowed to say.

He didn't stay
But the love did
And now it grows wild
Inside a heart
With no one left
To give it to.

Why is it only when we cry
When we feel in despair
That our life is broken
Beyond repair
That we cannot be fixed

That with open heart
We finally turn to God
Hands full of broken parts
That we can finally say
I am so sorry, dear God

Can you please help me

When your voice
Escaped the clutches of the night
I held on tight
In vain

Your eyes that hid under the curls
They've become traces of you

To a girl I once knew
You're only a memory away

Hope.
Strength.
Love.
faith.
All intertwined,
In our daily lives.
Bravery.
Pain.
Hate.
Shame.
All connected,
For you to find  
So don't,
look at this blind.
Control.
Friendships.
Safety.
All things we look for,
In our world.
So keep fighting,
Each will come.
It might take it’s time,
So well your waiting,
Hang out here!
And chat and write,
It’s also my type of fun! :)