Kicked in the teeth, cut by my lovers
and there's nothing i can do about it—
not that i would have wanted to change it,
anyways. swallowed in sadness.


speaks of dreams and lives in madness
eyes like oceans, swallowed in sadness.
swallowed in sadness.

So much inspiration,
I think I've found my
expiration.

my mind telescopes to
the stars that once lined your skin—
who now form constellations
on the rings of
my eyes.

slowly breathing,
slowly fading—
into something that
never even really
existed
in the first place

i want to write essays about your body
to preach you to ears who
have never heard
your laugh.

i want to create
constellations in your skin
and give each one a history
that i will read to myself
when it is the middle of the night
and you have turned away in your sleep.

because we don't need a background
in physics to know
that i will never
truly, fully, wholly,
understand you—
but you will always be here
covered in that cloud, oh
that cloud of unknowing.

You asked and I told you.
Seven is pretty high for eighteen but
It's my lucky number.

I'd do a lot for a little
bit more than your eye contact.
Compact as you sway.
Staying away. Staying away.
We get slightly close
then drift once again.
I leave only with your name
but it's one I didn't gain
from your mouth.

"I don't know how you can be so high and low in the same night."

"It's easy. I'm just highly lonely."

735 days since my skin touched yours

In one second—a universe existed: each
with 735 Earths, each
with 735 cities, each
with 735 hundred sets of lovers, like us.

In one second—each planet had
735 extra suns. 735 cities burnt to
the end of their matchstick in 1/735th of a second,
the same second that we had last touched.

You asked me, then, if I ever thought I had loved anyone in high school. I didn't answer you, because all I could think of was if a world could feel the difference between the burn of 735 and 736 suns.


They can.

it's been a year and twenty two days and twenty three hours and fifty minutes and nineteen seconds and
i still can't tell if it was lust or loneliness
mean or meaning
all i ever really know is that
all i every really wanted was to sleep with you
in every sense of the saying

If you leave, please stay where you have left to.

Your existence is drowning—
Possessing your breathe in depth
Spanning a minute into a lifelong
And only when your lungs collapse do you
Fly and break the surface into another new world
Another new ocean in which you will hide:
Close your eyes and refuse to inhale the tide.

I wish I could show you all the words I wrote on my body
That you probably wouldn't approve of
(you enjoy the meaning—but not the idea).

But you don't want my skin anymore.
And that's fine.
That's just fine.

Everything but the present is a fond memory.

the two second view of Jupiter over
the two hour night that I spent awake
with you

How my memory favors a
one night second over a
one night stand.

and i am 0912 minutes of wasted breath and second guesses
longing over the lost 0814 days i searched for in other months.
i think of the 0601 seconds i were happy in—
replacing them with 0722 heartbeats trying to scrub the coldness off my fingertips.
0126 lifetimes pass and now i am warm again but unhappy.
reality left me for numbers and birthdays
and now i am alone with my thoughts

Those of wisdom measure it and not wit
And hopefully you've got enough
wisdom to measure
my wit?

I could not be with you so I became you.

Sitting, I
see a spider married to air. I
wonder what it'd be like—
creating something only I
can see. And then I
realize. I
already know.

If I could I would live forever
inside a 10x10ft dorm room with walls higher than all your bottles could stack.

When temptation follows us all,
From the farthest pew,
He calls the poem,
"Untitled."

We never make eye contact anymore—
But your friends and I do—
Which is weird—I don't remember them being the ones—who stuck a finger in my—

People walk by in the airport.

People walk.
I wait.

People wait.
I walk.

"Old habits die hard"
were the words you whispered as you kissed another cigarette and
I agreed with you
"that's why you're still in this room with me."

clean for almost two years now
i stay up reading
a timeline of myself
high on ecstasy

Never wrote of you.
Maybe now I'll write for you.
So here you go, you.

Skinny green sea wave—
Runs until he can't find the shore anymore.
Runs until he can't see the sun.
It's calm on the waters.

Dreams are always dressed in black.
The lack of you I do attack.
Night is where the mind can speak.
You're the only one I seek.
Sleek and steady, I once drew back
In myself I find a crack
But dreams are always dressed on black
And you're the only one I lack.

I read over St Peter and cry.

40 minutes until I board the plane.
12960 until I see you again.

i wanted to kiss you 14 minutes ago

Even though social networks have fallen away,
Lost in translational love.
I still exist in the closets of your mind
And I know you still open them.

Sleep around like clouds
I cloud your mind
and
your mind is broken

***** will ruin your life
so be careful when you go to sleep
because we're sleeping together

love is patient,
love is kind.

thom yorke keeps telling me that true love waits
so why do i feel that waiting has made me weak.
(like i'm letting you get away with something)

i am not patient,
nor kind.
i am envious, and boastful.
i keep a record of how wrong i feel.

'You were going 210km/h
when you headed into heaven.

You said your favorite weekend was *** and coke
I should have known then, what you meant
when you said you also only drank
hard bar straight

pretty white ******* a date
with a lonely man
whose father's funeral
only had three guests:
him, his brother, his uncle.

i can't even pretend
to know how to feel.

i consume both love
and liquor in the dark of
Monday's Lucky Bar.

Where does love go after it dies
Will I find it in Heaven
With you and your lies?

Will I fall for it again
In a tumble down spiral
Watch as our souls run out and go viral

And look, once more
As it falls.

And will I see it again
In the place
Where love goes
After it dies
In Heaven.

I could not make
it through the day.

I gave up at noon—
came home.
Lay in bed for twelve hours straight,
wondering,

Why am I not happy?

I tried to solve my problems
But then I realized...
I don't have any.

If I am sad with no means to be
Is that not a problem?

i drove a long way for affection
but i didn't mind a meander
into side streets of self exploration

companionship not compatability

and the simple ******* twists i turned
the gentle buses rode

i tire of you

She is England, she is.
Long, commanding-of-colonies legs, with
Eyes of volatile fire.

Spits records of the past
—we repeat—
To the face of confusion.

you licked your lips and they were
salty

my resolution,
a false dichotomy: brown
eyes, or purple walls.

(i like it when it's cloudy and the water surface reflects blue and grey)*


http:// i left my car keys on your table made of cigarettes
looked out the ***** bottle window and knew—
there's just something so ******* beautiful about destruction.

kissing pinot grigio
holding glass to cheek
refilling bottle, drop by drop
each milligram worth its weight in salt water

whatever omniscient is awake and
watching me join the 2am club
for a fifth night in a row
i hope you know i would love to watch you too

we learn such lessons from the loneliness
and remember nothing in the morning

this pillow talk is lost in translation from night to day

and when you

double space your lines apart

(equivalent to an inch

on the textbook you only use for

a surface)

there will always be a soft spot

in my heart

that i want you to call home