my head goes to a dark place,
my hand grabs the blade,
my skin bleeds,
all the while tears go down my face.

the rope hidden in my closet
seems more appealing.

i scream
but no one can hear me.

i'm drowning
but no one can save me.

who told you that you could say that
there's blood and ***** and drunk tears on the neck of your sweater
and in the corner of your eye.
substance lettering not making any sense.

who told you that you could say that


Christmas lights are beautiful
But only out of season

I sure as hell didn't.

Tears.
They fall,
and crash against the floor.
And I watch,
wishing that i could take the pain away.
If I could, I would.
I would take the pain away.
So that you wouldn't cry,
and you wouldn't be sad.

Her name was Hannah and I loved her blonde hair
Tender young woman on the streets, price was fair
Meeting at the corner of Forest Road, he said she'd know where
Marvin hooked me up, my training was complete
Time to get back on the horse, really find my feet
She jumped in my car, I smelt a perfume so sweet
She flashed me a smile and wished I was her
At this point I didn't know what was to occur
To be in this girl's skin is what I would prefer
We took a room at the seedy hotel in town
Closing the door, I turn around, she sat down
She took off my jeans, all she had was a frown
I told her I knew her Daddy and he treated me real mean
She got up to go, so I struck her face, it came keen
Told her I was his slave from the age of eighteen
The smirk on her face filled me with manly rage
Again she tried to leave, so I truly blew my gauge
A swift punch took her down, bruised her rib cage
I tore into her **** uniform and took what was mine
Begging me to stop but it was already too late to decline
I used her body in masculine rage, treated her like swine
And when I was done I left her crying on the bed as I left
I just took something from her but it didn't feel like theft
I got what I wanted so I didn't think of how she was bereft
Said to her as I left that if she told Marvin, she would die
She lay crying on the bed, so there was no word of reply
Quickly left the seedy hotel and look up at the night sky
Marvin took my masculinity so I took it out on his girl
What do I have to lose, I've got nothing in this world
He'll look for me soon, revenge in my mind, time to give it a whirl

We are alone in my room after our tenth date. I like you, you like me no longer will we have to wait. You asked me “Am I ready” I shake my head yes. I pray this won't be my biggest regret. He takes my hand and kisses my lips. I am surprised he did not miss. We lay back on the bed and look each other in the eye. I can read his soul and his is looking into mine. He starts to kiss me on my neck and then I let out a huge sigh. He climbs on top of me. I can feel his chest on top of mine. He takes my hands and pins them above my head and starts to kiss me passionately. My body starts to warm up his does to. He put his had up my shirt my mind starts to scream out for more. He stops out passionate kiss to take off his shirt. His  body is so perfect I almost thought I would fall apart. He starts to pull my pants down. I start to feel a beautiful feeling down below. He reaches in his back pocket and pulls out that golden rubber. He slides it on in a record amount time. He looks at me again deeply in my eyes and leans down and whispers in my ear, “you are absolutely beautiful” a tiny smile develops on my face. He enters inside and a lighting bolt of pleasure enters my body. In and out the love,pleasure and passion builds up with every stroke as we become one. The pleasure builds up in my body more and more until together out body bursts into a millions of pieces in the room. His body falls down next to mine and we both look each other and smile. That was a very memorable first time

I want to know her
I see her smile in the darkness
I want to feel her like no one else can
Her voice is intoxicating
I absorb her every word
She pours me another glass
We sit and jabber about meaninglessness
A caged animal howls inside my head
It wants out
It wants to taste the flesh
It wants to chew the sinews that hold the muscle to the bone
It wants to test the heart
She sits there in herself and the time
She sits there like a rabbit in the grass
Unaware of her surroundings
The beast unleashed
Drunk on the night and the moment
It takes its chance
Then lays back down
Proud
Its victim confused and intact

I don't think I'd mind
To have you in my life even though I'm not sure who you are
You're gorgeous though
Subtle smile with your fullish or small lips I don't know I caught a glimpse
Kind eyes whatever color they may be
Hands as rough as the smoothest layer of your delicate skin
Your hair is quite beautiful with it's ever changing color and length
I'm writing about you cause I care about you or well I think I plan too
I get confused sometimes I just wish you'd finally tell me your name


I think the best thing about not knowing anything about you
Is when I do meet you whether you have anything of what I said above
I'll love you.
I have no idea what you are like in the slightest
My own insanity has created a picture of unbelievable pseudo-realism
Peace in war showed me some love or maybe the love showed war that even in war, love can cause some
peace
I guess my hearts a warzone looking for some peace needing some love
I just hope it finds that blank slate soon babe
If you turned to me now
I could only say this

"Now if you're scared to death like me
But you'll not get a bit of rest
For the pounding and calling at a door in your little chest
If you're scared to death like me, close your eyes
Just close your eyes."