sadness envelopes me.
sometimes i'm just sitting
and all of the sudden i feel
i don't feel anything
except the space between you and i.
and *i miss you
why do i miss you so much?
my heart is breaking
it's actually to the point
where i don't think it can break anymore.
there's a rope in the back of my car.
i'm going to use it
it's going to give me wings so
i can see you again.
i'm really sorry.
but i guess
i can just tell you in person.
is it really worth to be alive for another year?
birthdays are always disappointment.
i don't feel like i should
celebrate me living.
and i hate
the fact that everyone else
is so happy about it.
can no one see that i don't want to
celebrate my birth?
i regret even coming here in the first place.
i want to lay on the ground and wait
for the rain to take me away.
happy birthday to me.
i just have to wonder
is it really even happy?
love is an ugly flame.
it burns your insides and you feel so hot
it shows on your face when you blush.
i remember when you gave me such a flame,
but after all your mistakes and hurtful remarks,
you surely blew it out.
i am just an ember towards you
for you ruined me.
you cannot relight an unexisting candle
so please don't even try.
please don't try.
why would you just drop everything
and throw me to the flames
and crushed a my heart under your shoe.
i screamed out in pain
and you just turned around
and walked the opposite way.
you were my last hope for a new life
and you threw it back at my face.
i just wanted you to **** my mind
and make me feel nothing.
i bet you were always
something to make you numb.
sorry that i wasnt your
and you werent addicted
to this one-sided love.
i guess i'm just sorry.
sorry that you felt you had to lash out at me in such a way
i am sorry.
but for now,
i'm where im supposed to be.
i laid in a field
behind the red barn,
across the broken lake
i waited for the sun to disappear
and for the stars to show their
and sing their wonderful songs.
i waited for the night creatures
to hear the beauty of love
i saw a shooting star
and i made a wish
for the good lord to come clean me of all
the hate in the world.
he said well i guess thats ok
and sent me a thousand shooting stars to the sky,
a pinch of glitter on my shoulder.
fireflies came out and danced
across my naked skin
then kissed my nose and ears
and whispered that
everything was going to be okay.
i remember when i last saw you.
you said you were going to stay
in a palace above the clouds,
and tied a rope around your neck.
i haven't seen you in awhile.
i guess you like it up there.