The children adore it
and wait all year
for the cold winter comfort
and the saturating cheer

They fidget and pace
all through December
making lists of the gifts
That they did not remember.

They climb upon Santa
eyes shining brightly
fingers clutching their lists
ever so tightly.

They stutter and stammer
forget what to say
resigned to waiting
for that magical day.

Xmas eve evening
so full of excitement
they dream of the morning
wondrous delightment.

The parents abhor it
and wait with dread
the upcoming gathering
the breaking of bread.

The family you avoid
the rest of the year
the drinking, the gossip
the pains in your rear.

The endless instruction
batteries galore
the wrapping and hiding
the locked closet door.

The last minute shopping
Black Friday stampede
to grant their wishes
to satiate their need.

Its finally over
the end is nigh
the morning of Christmas
the end of the lie.

The atheist ignores it
as best he can
it is pretty invasive
and he is only a man.

A fat man, a baby
flying moose in the skies
horrible, endless music
but at least there are pies.

It begins in October
the feast for the dead
the next day there's Jesus
in his tiny, wooden bed

A story of divinity
passed through the ages
bastardized and broken
parchment thin pages

Roman gift giving
European "Christmas" trees
A Greek gift giving saint
Shepherds on their knees

Supernova signals
Norseman's Mistletoe
A donkey, a sleigh
Coca Cola's ** ** **!

Saturnarian or Pagan
Christian or Jew
Happy Holidays to everyone
From: Atheist, To: You

Now i watch you twirling around

Your self esteem wont touch the ground

''Wow i look perfect just as always''

And i feel like strangling you just as always

But a mirror with no other job

I stay there watching you smile

not watching you sob

You're never exisiting pain

And your forever arrogance

Makes me want to watch you dance

on sweet sweet broken glass.

No respect

short little nonesense

As you think you're queen

But i am royal

and will remain forever so

I am the mirror

the torture of your soul.

you let them pound
on your walls of emotion
blocked them out
never letting them see
how much pain your eyes held
I wish I was as strong
as that barred up girl
dealing with everything
yet showing nothing
how can one person hold it all in?
I'd have died
crushed by my own toppling walls
as they squeezed my last breath of sorrow
out of my crumpled body
lying in a heap
waiting for warm arms
but recieving
nothing

Mother's day is coming around again!
Better get her something that's a bargain.
I bought her some pretty green sheets.
They'd fit on their bed ,oh, so neat!

Oh yeah, I remembered you aren't here!
Dead, and gone. Not anywhere near.
I spoil myself on such a holiday.
Reminded of this every May on the second Sunday!

depression does not always mean
beautiful girls shattering at the wrists.
a glorified, heroic battle for your
sanity.
or mothers that never got the chance
to say goodbye.

sometimes depression means
not getting out of bed
for three days
because your feet
refuse to move, in fear
that they will shatter on impact
to the floor.

sometimes depression means
summoning the willpower
to go downstairs
and check the mail
and that will be the most impressive thing you've done
that whole week.

sometimes depression  means
staring at the ceiling for hours
lying on the floor
because you cannot convince your body
that it is capable of movement.

sometimes depression means
that every single bone in your body
aches
but you keep trying to move
yet you can't.

sometimes depression means
ignoring every message, text or call
for an entire month
because yes,
they have the right number
but you're not the person they're looking for,
not anymore.

-k.m.

i wonder what became
of the girl that threw butterflies to the rain
and shattered pretty vases
so her heart could relate.
who buried her sorrows
deep in the bottom of a bottle
and never woke up again.
sick of being a burden on everyone's shoulders,
she stretched her arms to
the wind on the boats and ponds
and longed for enough despair
and enough bravery to finally
set herself free.

what became of the girl whose solace grew bigger everyday?
her desire for life ate her away.

-k.m.