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370 · Mar 2014
Secrets Out
Selena Irulan Mar 2014
There's this secret I've been holding on to for far too long
It makes my heart heavy
like a bridge with a ton of cars.
My heart is in a cage surrounded by bars
as my heart gnawed trying to break free
Sometimes I found myself filled with dismay at all the chances
I had to speak but I didn't have the
courage to say because I was weak.
I've been in love with you for 4 years and I hope that you feel the same way.
But it's a little to late now to know
because you're resting in peace...
Since you've been gone I've learned to tell
people how I truly feel and to not wait so **** long..
369 · Aug 2013
X-Ray Vision
Selena Irulan Aug 2013
I see straight through you
You're just flesh and bones
But even x-ray vision
Can't show through the lies that you've told

The veils that you've woven
Your truths lie in shadows
The code of honor
That your words have shattered

I see straight through you
And into the light
But each lie you tell
Takes you further from right

I have x-ray vision
But the truth of it is
It's your lies that blind me
But i know the truth lives
359 · Oct 2013
Untitled
Selena Irulan Oct 2013
life beats hard in my neck
your pulse creates a duet
when my melody becomes erratic,
will you be pounding my chest?
357 · Sep 2013
BlacK & WhitE
Selena Irulan Sep 2013
To all the lovers of the world
Lucky enough to unite,
Pull your loved one close
And hold them tight.
As long as you have love
Everything will be alright.
To all who have a warm body
To lay beside them through the night,
Know that you are lucky beyond compare
To have someone to share the fight.
If you are blessed to find this kind of love
Make sure you treat them right.
Just remember that in matters of love
Things are seldom black and white.
356 · Jul 2013
Anonymous Love
Selena Irulan Jul 2013
i fell in love with you the first
day i met you, it's kinda of crazy
awful and deadly
We ended up bad but that's the past
Move on its over you aren't crazy
i remember your beautiful brown eyes, white smile,
and extraordinary laugh
We laughed all the time like it
Would always last
i loved when you put your hands around
my waist
Made me feel like i was yours all day
Even though i knew i wasn't
the only one
You ****** up but i guess that's bad luck
I told you i loved you
it was true
Good music, good vibes
and you
Too bad it didn't last, i'll never
Find someone like you
Maybe one day in a different world
We could start over and
i could be you...
355 · Oct 2013
Wrong Place
Selena Irulan Oct 2013
I am fly on the wall in the wrong room
I wish I could just fall and be swept by a broom
My eyes have to disguise these un-forsaken views
I come to you lord as I sit in these pews
Don’t leave me in despair
My heart can’t survive this tear
As the fear fills me in my body grows thin
Brittle and cracked as I feel it attack
Release and shed a tear letting all those hear
The level my pain as I wash it down the drain
There is no right there is no wrong
It’s like there is nowhere I belong
On this wall I lay, stuck so I must stay
Selena Irulan Nov 2013
I closed my eyes
And I dream of you
Holding you
Feeling you
Molding you
Into something all our own
I closed my eyes
And I wonder
What it is that makes you
Want me
Need me
In the middle of the night
As we become one with each other
I closed my eyes
And I realized
That it is for you that I breathe
That is for you that I wake up in the morning
That is for you that I live for
So as I close my eyes tonight
I want you to know
That you are in my heart
As I close my eyes.
351 · Oct 2013
Out of time
Selena Irulan Oct 2013
10  I wake up every morning with the same thoughts on my mind
             9    success is timed my life is running out of time ticking
             8   at every inch of mile Her smile as beautiful as
            7    the night sky. piles of thoughts linger on
              6     my mind like a parachute inflating
                  5  but i'm still waiting for my time
               4  to come as it ticks away
             3  daily little by little.
2         on
           1  display.
351 · Aug 2013
My last...
Selena Irulan Aug 2013
Reasons being shame, regret, and trouble,
You all became miserable
which made it double,
With thoughts as clear as clear itself,
The time was near,
I swept the shelf,
Downing the bottle,
The Tylenol to follow,
My heart was full,
My mind was hallow,
The body claimed,
My soul remained swallowed,
They all knew I disappeared,
So funerals canceled due to the weather,
Because I'm gone everything will be better,
My reasons being shame, regret, and all your trouble.
350 · Oct 2013
Motion
Selena Irulan Oct 2013
The Movement of our legs

one, lift, two, lift.

Such complications in a simple step
Naturality known since our first baby steps,

one, lift, two, lift.

Once the movement becomes right
walking becomes so much more

one, lift, two, lift.

It's a time to think,
to talk
to love the fall

What if we decided to walk?
Slow down the world.
Slow down ourselves.

Some people can't do it because
they are out of shape,
or have no time,
but that's not why.

Some people can't slow down.
Can't let life go by.
Can't pause for but a moment.

We take a stroll every once in a while
(actually more than just a while).
Several times a week
and every walk
is a new adventure.

It's a time to think,
to talk,
to love the fall.
343 · Jun 2013
The Cycle
Selena Irulan Jun 2013
It seems like all you get from me is

Angry glares and blank stares

Not because of an absence of love

Just simply because,

Emotionally I’m not here

I sure do wish that life was still sweet

Like the candy I would eat

Back around the time I was about

Ten

Back then I didn't have anyone

To call a friend

Let alone a future husband as yourself

Lately you haven’t been feeling like

You’re treated accordingly to your wealth

I know this

Sometimes it gets to hard to focus

I get lost between your desires

And the necessities of my own

Bitter sweet nightmares I dream

In the comfort of my home

How is it possible that we are

All together

Yet, we are still

All alone

That’s the song we sing every

Single day

And through it all, here you are because

You decided to stay
343 · Oct 2013
Once
Selena Irulan Oct 2013
You tell me you love me
I wish it where true
You tell me you've missed me
I use to miss you

When you walked out the door
I thought I would cry
But you just kept right on walking
Without saying,  good-bye
So now that you've come back
It isn't the same
With you it was only just a game
I once truely loved you
But that was before
Now you say you love me
It doesn't matter anymore

Cause you fooled me once
Shame on me
May think you can fool me twice
But this time the games won't be nice
From me
I can forgive, but not forget
But...darling,
Once is enough of your ****
342 · Sep 2013
LAST CHANCE
Selena Irulan Sep 2013
So tired of the back and fourth
To many thoughts I need to sort.
I stray here wandering lost.
My heart won't let go no matter what the cost.
I love your presence.
Hate your lies.
This is the last time.
Last chance.
Prove my doubts are truly taking a wrong glance.
I won't let you play me for a fool.
I no longer can stand being so confused.
Be real.
Be you.
But at the end of the day don't let me say we are through.
338 · Oct 2013
Untitled
Selena Irulan Oct 2013
When the night falls
A  divine woman lights
Millions and millions of lamps
In her big blue house

When the day falls
A divinely bright man enters
In his Golden Chariot
Into her house out shining
Her millions and millions of lamps

Both the woman and the man
Follow the commands
Of their divine master
Some call him God
And others call him
Goddess Nature
326 · Nov 2013
Untitled
Selena Irulan Nov 2013
Moon
is just
a sliver
a cup
of light
in Sky
all shades
of blue
to
blindwhite
mooncurve
to cradle
my spine
325 · Oct 2013
Time
Selena Irulan Oct 2013
Stagnant time
Time not once counted
Between thoughts disconnected
Relief escapes me in my hour
My hour of stagnant time
That chews upon my soul
Lingering and cold
Like a clear winter's eve
In my hour
There is no one
There is nothing
Just time
323 · Sep 2013
I've Been Lying Too
Selena Irulan Sep 2013
I hate you
but you love me
and all you wanna do
is please me.

Your shaking up my head
twisting my thoughts
into tiny pieces
that can't be read.

"But i love you baby"
is all you say
Just go with it
it'll all be okay.

We waste time
like a broken clock
Tick...tock.

And when the time comes
I won't be there
Cause i've been lying too...
but you were always too drunk
to even care.

Our lies that were exchanged
never meant a thing
Especially when i used to say
"of course IM in Love with You darlING"
and you're my everything.
319 · Oct 2013
Just a dream
Selena Irulan Oct 2013
Now I lay me down  to sleep
For a wishful peaceful dream
Of you and me
To capture a vision what it would mean
Having you lay next to me
Warmth of your body
Close to mine
Holding me so....heavenly divine
I feel your breath upon my neck
Something stirring inside.... oh what the heck
oooh, now I know this is just
Ah.... dream
318 · Sep 2013
Just A Dream
Selena Irulan Sep 2013
Just a dream

Acting in fright

Wishing one day

It will be alright

Hoping it’s all just a dream

Open and close my eyes

Is there little more than

Mistakes and fights?

Is this because of where I come from?

Who am I?

The mirror doesn’t lie

Just a sad excuse

For the wannabe daughter

Trapped inside

Slowly dying

Why can’t I just be somebody?
315 · Nov 2013
Untitled
Selena Irulan Nov 2013
Passion burns within me
like the embers of a
thousand suns

my parents would **** me

but

his soft smooth skin slowly
wraps around me like a
sensual snake

OUR HEARTS RACE AS ONE

I would eat from the tree
of knowledge if it
wanted me

my parents will **** me

but

what colors are
painted across his in
The Art of Passion
i awoke from a dream to write this poem.
315 · Sep 2013
Untitled
Selena Irulan Sep 2013
I use to love you.
But things have changed
it probably was lust considering the fact that you were lame.
Untouchable beyond imagination i grieve of your presence and the yonder of your blessings. Sometimes its not what you say but how you say it  the impact of your emotions..
303 · Oct 2013
Longing for more
Selena Irulan Oct 2013
I shall long for you
As my lungs long to breathe
Without thought
Without conscious effort
And I shall long for you
As ocean waves long to crash upon shore
In and out the tide goes
Yet constant are the waves
As is my love for you
You that I hold so dearly
You that dream of
You that I love
299 · Sep 2013
In Peace
Selena Irulan Sep 2013
take away the war let us live in peace
make the world a happy place let the killing cease
let us love again and we can live as one
together hand in hand we can make our lives go on
cast the war aside and put it in the past
let us live in harmony and live in peace at last
297 · Sep 2013
Untitled
Selena Irulan Sep 2013
Your insecurities change,
all that you hear,
who you are inside,
and how you appear.

It decides what you do,
and what you see,
it lessens what you want,
and who you'll be.

It won't let your dreams,
go as high as the sky,
you stay on the ground,
though you're able to fly.

Won't put your foot forward,
so you go with the flow,
too scared of goodbye,
to think of hello.

You're less than your best,
and a little too late,
your shoulders now carry,
a little more weight.

Slow your mind down,
and stop holding back,
'cause you are what you are,
and not what you lack.
295 · Oct 2013
Untitled
Selena Irulan Oct 2013
Thought is poetry
to create beauty, is thought itself.
to create mayhem, is thought itself.
to inspire fear, is thought itself.
to inspire love, is thought itself.

we only think in the language we know.
labeling
picturing
identifying
what we do in every single thought.

feeling
seeing
knowing
what we want, what we need
what we are meant to have
who we are
who we love
who we are meant to find

All is thought, in the deepest way,
poetry for the best and worst of days
289 · Oct 2013
MY LOVE
Selena Irulan Oct 2013
imaginary lines form
people feel like ghosts
wandering around halls

the love of life
you don’t seem to be real
upheld
unwanted
this sprit grows weak

my love you are imaginary to me

if I am to reach for you
I know my hand to pull through
To touch on the other side

the things you say are my minds truths
And truths I cannot
you are only apart of me
never to be your own
I am all consuming
my thoughts are all I know
280 · Sep 2013
We're living Proof
Selena Irulan Sep 2013
The rain holds our hearts
together forever more
Our souls dance in love
As our smiles spread the shore
I hold your hand as we walk
Knowing that you're not there
In my heart and in my mind
you surround me everywhere
As I speak to you in silence
My words I know you hear
When I touch your body softly
there is nothing that we fear
For love is not a figment
nor a dream we wish to wake
We are the proof of true love
That no one can forsake.
279 · Aug 2013
Untitled
Selena Irulan Aug 2013
My new thing now
is teaching lessons to the boys that hurt me
in a selfless effort to try an make them into men.
So I break their hearts
-but only a little-
a fraction of how they shattered mine.
276 · Sep 2013
Sadness
Selena Irulan Sep 2013
Sadness lives to hollow the heart
Its pleasure is our pain
It abides in darkness and fear
It lives for weakness to gain.
Burying itself within our minds
Trying to steal our dreams
Desiring one tear to fall
Knowing it shall succeed.
Sadness is but a figment
That of which we can control
If we refuse to get lost within it
It cannot deprive our souls.
Our strength and our wisdom
Keeps us standing tall
As long as we fight sadness
We are saved from it all.
274 · Sep 2013
Untitled
Selena Irulan Sep 2013
I craved you like plants needed rain. You should have used your brain when you were untamed. I got tired of hearing all the lies and my crys. I forgave you for all those times, that described how your heart felt so unorganized. When i returned the favor to you, you didn't want to apologize
269 · Oct 2013
Who's Leading ?
Selena Irulan Oct 2013
I’ve wondered always,
If I follow life, or if
My life follows me
269 · Aug 2013
Lies.
Selena Irulan Aug 2013
Lies.
A word, maybe two
A slip of the tongue
To save your skin
These words
Once found untrue
Can slice through a person's heart.
These lies ,
Once people find that you were telling a lie,
It affects both.
It stabs the person you lied to in the heart
And you, in the back.
249 · Sep 2013
Last
Selena Irulan Sep 2013
We get so attached
not only to ourselves
but the people
that surround us.

The time that we spend together
just can't be captured into a photograph
All the memories that we remember
won't last forever.

At some point in our lives
we have to let go
Just let the person that you love the most
slip right through your fingers
only to turn into a ghost.

What was your perfect future
is now a dark past
you never know
when it could be the last.

Whether it's a last kiss
or a last goodbye
forever and always
will you be dearly missed.

Take chances while you have them
don't let them slip away
Speak the words that you desire
'cause it'll be the last words
that I'll hear you say.
245 · Oct 2013
Untitled
Selena Irulan Oct 2013
What is only in our heads can be more powerful than what is visable outside our minds
And what is born from out imagination is more powerful than what is born in our eyes
230 · Sep 2013
LOVE IS A NATURE
Selena Irulan Sep 2013
love it is a nature and it lies within
when you meet that special one your love it will begin
you will feel emotions and a beating in your heart
to let you know that love is just about to start
its such a lovely feeling and there to let you know
something that you feel when love begins to grow.

— The End —