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Selena Irulan Dec 2013
I want to dive deep
Into the ocean,
just to disappear for a while.
Maybe even forever...
no one there would judge or know me
i like being lonely..
At least i could be a little happy
This pain i can no longer bare
Empty feelings in my heart
i need a breath of fresh air..
running away is never
the answer it just creates
more problems like cancer..
You have to fight the pain in order to survive to gain.
the way the water
sways my body back  
& forth east by north.
Just to lose myself in it,
Forget all the
lies guys arised
& to start living
freely with no feelings.
so the stars  can project
straight through my ceiling
into the depths of my
heart listening to music..
Selena Irulan Dec 2013
Your my drug that i need
the substance of Love is an addictive drug.
one dose is never enough.
My heart races every time i hear your voice  
thoughts come rushing in like waves on the shore
(One beat, two)
i crave it in my mind, body and soul.
it takes a toll on me leaving me weakened by his words.
(Three beats, four)
Stories he told that didn't add up.
it just made me crave him more.
(Five beats, six)
To hear his voice whisper sweet nothings
in my ear.
i always felt like he was
throwing darts at my heart aiming to ****
i forgave over and over again
hoping one day he'd change and the pain would end
(Seven beats, eight)
Those words i use to hold so dear, now gone
Deep into the ocean they went along with those dark eyes i resent
(Nine beats, Ten ... . .)
So i ask you, where were your emotions
when we were together?
Buried deep in your mind or just known but hard to find in an ocean?
Selena Irulan Dec 2013
Innocent eyes..
but her thighs told me otherwise.
a mask over her demeanor
so no one could realize,
the pain she bestowed
when drowning under water...
her eyes were timed like an
hourglass waiting for time to un-wine
her eyes told a story of grief,
disbelief, and that she needed some relief,
the darkness her eyes beheld,
were like the dark side of the moon.
she never cried, kept a smile on her face,
no one ever knew the secrets she consumed
her wrist had scars,
as deep as the ocean
the blood was running like
the water of a thousand potions.
i can admit i miss your presence,
your beautiful smile,
and how your aura glowed in the darkness.
i wish you never committed suicide that summer morning...
Selena Irulan Nov 2013
is just
a sliver
a cup
of light
in Sky
all shades
of blue
to cradle
my spine
Selena Irulan Nov 2013
With No Emotions left

I feel alone

Trying to understand the meaning of why

I no longer feel the need to love

Trying to contemplate ways in which I should once again

Make myself feel the need to feel

As memories race inside an empty space that was once my heart

That you have killed

I can't imagine me being on my own

While others have taken this place that you have once called my home

I've never given up the thought

Of you being in my heart

As you twist

And turned

And Pulled

Me apart

I can no long concentrate

As this nonfeeling has sealed my fate

This seems so unfair

But my emotions were never there

From the start

I knew you had no heart

So now all of this is true

I was never after you

So please don't hate me for my sins

My emotions are held within

The thin-line of my skin

So This I must confess

Cause I wanted to get it off my chest

no less

stressing me

cause you couldn't get next to me

While the Lord kept on blessing me

So forgive me for my sins

Cause all this could have been avoided

If only you had felt what I felt

When I had emotions to cover up my welts

Of being abused from emotionless love
Selena Irulan Nov 2013
I closed my eyes
And I dream of you
Holding you
Feeling you
Molding you
Into something all our own
I closed my eyes
And I wonder
What it is that makes you
Want me
Need me
In the middle of the night
As we become one with each other
I closed my eyes
And I realized
That it is for you that I breathe
That is for you that I wake up in the morning
That is for you that I live for
So as I close my eyes tonight
I want you to know
That you are in my heart
As I close my eyes.
Selena Irulan Nov 2013
You shouldn't judge a book by
its cover nor color because
what you uncover may not [BE]
what you wanted to discover
Don't underestimate someones
ability's & mind...Your just being blind
people lie, steal, cheat and **** but whats
the deal with their reputation they've sealed?
Underneath their genuine faces lie disguises of
different sizes, it'll leave you with surprises.
A dark mask like a black hole, shadows unfold,
secrets are hidden beneath their souls.
Appearances are deceiving, within time true
colors start to show. [YOU] see the cover up
realizing how naive you've been now you don't
know who to trust. Never believe every smile you see,
remember people change like the seasons for reasons.
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