there is this candle that i keep
in a box and i save it for nights
when i want to think of y o u,
when the summer air is too hot
a n d i can imagine that you
would have turned o u r air
conditioning up so high t h a t
i would have had to put on a
sweater while you stripped
downtonearlynothing.i wonder
if we would have had those
gardens you talked about or if
you would have taught me to
tolerate beer. i usedto think you
were the s o l e orchestrator of
every sunset i had ever seen,
that you m u s t have bartered
some part of y o u r soul in
exchange for that laugh you
had, that all of the absolute ****
i had gone through was simply
there t o l e a d m e t o you.
but you did not love me t h e
same way, you d i d n o t love
m e the s a m e way.
tell me, do we have to bow
down and kiss our own feet
to become whole again?