the nice tommy carter



tommy carter was a kid who was a bubbly little cool kid, who used to hit people on the backs

and he had a very good imagination, which sometimes got the better of him, you see all his friends

played fun little games with tommy, saying you are weird tom, you are weird tom, you see tommy’s father

and mother were so nice to him, you see they will treat him like a little bubbly little cool kid, which got

tommy’s llittle bro ernie so jealous of him, you see ernice teased tommy a lot, he said, you are a little spas boy

tommy and tommy teased ernie by making ernie move around in circles, you see tommy was a tad different

in the fact that when people teased him, like saying, what’s that, your still getting teased, what’s that your still getting teased

and then tommy’s dad noticed that the teasing was really affecting tommy and decided to stop being the cool man

and he labelled himself a little quiet man, or a yepyoubigfuckheadyeahmanbop, which is a very together person who

doesn’t understand that tommy wanted to be a cool kid back then but he found it hard to understand why

was his dad changing his lifestyle, ya know changing his way of life, you see tommy liked going to the march

with his dad, so he as well as his dad can pay their res[ect to the fallen diggers, on anzac parade and tommy’s dad

played santa claus at the local mall, and tommy’s mum took tommy and ernie to see him as santa, and tommy’s dad

at easter time, used to lay all the easter eggs out  so tommy and ernie can go to church and then go hiome

and get ready to search for the easter egg hunt, and i know they lived in australia, but that didn’t stop tommy dressing

tommy and ernie into halloween clothes and go around door to door saying trick or treat, this made tommy happy

as he got the most treats and make ernie very jealous and then tommy and ernie helped their mother serve out meals for the homeless

and tommy learnt that the homeless are very interesting and nice people and tommy made a few mates as he was serving the

meals, and let me tell you, that the big annual christmas party was the best, tommy was forced to dress up as santa

to spread christmas cheer to all the poor people, and tommy wears his grandfather’s medals at anzac day ceremonies

and decided to post the anzac day march on youtube, and another thing too, ernie got tommy into playing footy in

the front yard and a few mates from tommy’s school gave tommy a serve thinking he was CRAZY, playing around loud outside

but tommy didn’t care, and started to commentate his loud voiceover to his footy game, and tommy’s dad can’t really cope with

loud children, tried to show his army discipline to calm his two sons tommy and ernie, and he said, my two sons are enjoying life

playing footy in the front yard, and because tommy and ernie’s vdad really liked quiet people decided to have a cat fight with tommy

he called tommy a fool and he called him a silly clot, and he also said, the reason why i do this cause i love you tommy and i love both

of my two sons, i am trying to settle you 2 down, so tommy’s dad went into tommy’s room and tickled him and gave him a round the room

piggy back, and as he tickled him, he said, tickle tickle tum tum tickle tickle too, tickle;tickle tum tum tickle my two sons yo hoo

and this made tommy very excited as he was feeling the very big boney fingers of his father, press into his stomach, and as his father

tickled ernie, ernie laughed as well, but when tommy met johnno, who said be like us, and johnno partied with tommy and spoke to ernie and

ernie said to johnno tommy poos his pants and he talks to himself and johnno laughed along with ernie and tommy said, you are a *******

a really big *******, i make the first mate who liked me for me, and you spoil it ernie and ernie said ha ha tommy is a loser, baby, you can’t change me

and tommy was upset so he crawled through the drainpipe and he portended he was kidnapped and thrown into a garbage hopper by some drinkers

in a near by pub, and tommy lied to johnno, saying he got mugged, just to have johnno walk home with him, because tommy was a tad scared

of what bad guys will do to him, and johnno said, don’t be shy, be one of us good guys, be one of us good guys buddy, and now he watched the

anzac day march, tommy wanted to pay his respects to the fallen diggers and every april 25, wild horses couldn’t get in the way of tommy going

to the march to pay his respects and he is ready to enjoy everything that his dad taught him, now tommy’s dad his dead. tommy still wants to be

a bubbly little cool kid, but he isn’t a kid

you see tommy kiddlestone was a very good bbq man, and was told he was a good worker all the time

but he wanted more, so he bought tickets for him to go to the sydney-fremantle grand final, so he can

cheer them on his their way, you see tommy felt liked at the footy club, despite him never strapping on a boot

so he felt he could say anything to anyone and not have to deal with the consequences, so he started to

argue with this collingwood supporter, who really gave tommy heaps, and tommy said, you are a worthless

nobody, and your team is ****, so ******* away from me, for you see i am the local bbq man, i do it every year

and i want you to treat me good, because it’s good that i do that, yeah, but the lady said, who gives a hoot

on who or what you are, you are causing me ****, ya know and i am going to bash you up, and i will, don’t you worry, hey

you see after that she left to watch the footy in the bar, to get away from tommy cause he talks ****, and this really hyped tommy up

and made him cheer loud for sydney sydney sydney oi oi oi , sydney sydney sydney oi oi oi , and this made the people behind tommy

mad and started to get rowdy, and one guy wanted to lay into tommy saying, you can’t help people, you are a lying *******

who is looking up at your dead cat, who is making you alright, and then from out of the blue, tommy’s friend from the bbq came over

to him and sat in the seat and said, tommy you deserve credit, ya know, much better seats than these, how about next year we give you

better seats, and tommy said, are you sure i deserve it, i only do the bbq, mate, and they said, **** yeah, oh **** yeah, you work very hard

every day you come, and we feel like making youn a life time member of the swans, because that is your favourite team, isn’t it

tommy was ever so happy, and jumped for ****** joy, and said, i love sydney, and i hope they win, boy would i think that is cool

you see tommy went to the toilet and came back to his seat and got a big surprise, you see suddenly all his mates from the club he did

the bbq for were there to cheer him on, one man gave him a swans clock, another gave him a few champagne flutes filled with champagne

and another gave him a million dollars, so he can travel around the world, tommy thanked them for his presents, and then went over to

the toilet block, and there was ernie pallet who had a better surprise for him, you see tommy was amazed and tommy was happy too

tommy felt like giving tommy a very big hug, you see tommy was given a very big hug, by adam goods, because of what tommy was talking about

aboriginal rights, man that sounds so right, and adam gave him $4,000,000 to put into his account for when he grew older, this will make him happier

oh yeah, mate ****** yeah, so at the end of the game sydney won and all tommy’s friends amazingly disappeared along with all the gifts, which made

tommy look up and look down, and everywhere around but no gifts in sight, and another thing, it wasn’t the grand final, either it was round ****** 12

and he was at the game between sydney and collingwood missing an all important bbq, and instead of saying he is good, they lefty awful curse words

on his mobile phone, saying he let them down, what a ****** of an imagination i have

but he wanted more, so he bought tickets for him to go to the sydney-fremantle grand final, so he can

cheer them on his their way, you see tommy felt liked at the footy club, despite him never strapping on a boot

so he felt he could say anything to anyone and not have to deal with the consequences, so he started to

argue with this collingwood supporter, who really gave tommy heaps, and tommy said, you are a worthless

nobody, and your team is ****, so ******* away from me, for you see i am the local bbq man, i do it every year

and i want you to treat me good, because it’s good that i do that, yeah, but the lady said, who gives a hoot

on who or what you are, you are causing me ****, ya know and i am going to bash you up, and i will, don’t you worry, hey

you see after that she left to watch the footy in the bar, to get away from tommy cause he talks ****, and this really hyped tommy up

and made him cheer loud for sydney sydney sydney oi oi oi , sydney sydney sydney oi oi oi , and this made the people behind tommy

mad and started to get rowdy, and one guy wanted to lay into tommy saying, you can’t help people, you are a lying *******

who is looking up at your dead cat, who is making you alright, and then from out of the blue, tommy’s friend from the bbq came over

to him and sat in the seat and said, tommy you deserve credit, ya know, much better seats than these, how about next year we give you

better seats, and tommy said, are you sure i deserve it, i only do the bbq, mate, and they said, **** yeah, oh **** yeah, you work very hard

every day you come, and we feel like making youn a life time member of the swans, because that is your favourite team, isn’t it

tommy was ever so happy, and jumped for ****** joy, and said, i love sydney, and i hope they win, boy would i think that is cool

you see tommy went to the toilet and came back to his seat and got a big surprise, you see suddenly all his mates from the club he did

the bbq for were there to cheer him on, one man gave him a swans clock, another gave him a few champagne flutes filled with champagne

and another gave him a million dollars, so he can travel around the world, tommy thanked them for his presents, and then went over to

the toilet block, and there was ernie pallet who had a better surprise for him, you see tommy was amazed and tommy was happy too

tommy felt like giving tommy a very big hug, you see tommy was given a very big hug, by adam goods, because of what tommy was talking about

aboriginal rights, man that sounds so right, and adam gave him $4,000,000 to put into his account for when he grew older, this will make him happier

oh yeah, mate ****** yeah, so at the end of the game sydney won and all tommy’s friends amazingly disappeared along with all the gifts, which made

tommy look up and look down, and everywhere around but no gifts in sight, and another thing, it wasn’t the grand final, either it was round ****** 12

and he was at the game between sydney and collingwood missing an all important bbq, and instead of saying he is good, they lefty awful curse words

on his mobile phone, saying he let them down, what a ****** of an imagination i have

Tommy

I went into a public-'ouse to get a pint o' beer,
The publican 'e up an' sez, "We serve no red-coats here."
The girls be'ind the bar they laughed an' giggled fit to die,
I outs into the street again an' to myself sez I:
    O it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "Tommy, go away";
    But it's "Thank you, Mister Atkins", when the band begins to play,
    The band begins to play, my boys, the band begins to play,
    O it's "Thank you, Mister Atkins", when the band begins to play.

I went into a theatre as sober as could be,
They gave a drunk civilian room, but 'adn't none for me;
They sent me to the gallery or round the music-'alls,
But when it comes to fightin', Lord! they'll shove me in the stalls!
    For it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "Tommy, wait outside";
    But it's "Special train for Atkins" when the trooper's on the tide,
    The troopship's on the tide, my boys, the troopship's on the tide,
    O it's "Special train for Atkins" when the trooper's on the tide.

Yes, *makin' mock o' uniforms that guard you while you sleep
Is cheaper than them uniforms, an' they're starvation cheap;
An' hustlin' drunken soldiers when they're goin' large a bit
Is five times better business than paradin' in full kit.
    Then it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "Tommy, 'ow's yer soul?"
    But it's "Thin red line of 'eroes" when the drums begin to roll,
    The drums begin to roll, my boys, the drums begin to roll,
    O it's "Thin red line of 'eroes" when the drums begin to roll.

We aren't no thin red 'eroes, nor we aren't no blackguards too,
But single men in barricks, most remarkable like you;
An' if sometimes our conduck isn't all your fancy paints,
Why, single men in barricks don't grow into plaster saints;
    While it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "Tommy, fall be'ind",
    But it's "Please to walk in front, sir", when there's trouble in the wind,
    There's trouble in the wind, my boys, there's trouble in the wind,
    O it's "Please to walk in front, sir", when there's trouble in the wind.

*You talk o' better food for us, an' schools, an' fires, an' all:
We'll wait for extry rations if you treat us rational.
Don't mess about the cook-room slops, but prove it to our face
The Widow's Uniform is not the soldier-man's disgrace.
    For it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "Chuck him out, the brute!"
    But it's "Saviour of 'is country" when the guns begin to shoot;
    An' it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' anything you please;
    An' Tommy ain't a bloomin' fool -- you bet that Tommy sees!

the future is the undiscovered country



you see tommy des ree was a scientist who really wasn’t very realistic about what the

future brings, you see tommy wanted not to die, and wanted to find a way of eliminating death,

but this was going to be tough, because nobody knows what the future holds, nobody, you see,

tommy sat down, dreaming about ways to **** off the past, despite best mates saying they liked

him back then, everyone has their problems, but tommy was different to others, but he can’t quite

figure out why he was so different, because every story he wrote about changing the country for the better

was laughed right out of court,  and tommy was having a hard time, but really any idea he had was bad

so he went away to get himself into cosmic sleeping and learn about how the cosmos can save future

existense, and no matter how hard this is, tommy will make sure he travels to the edge of the earth, to find

the answer to what the future has in store, tommy thought, a person dies, a person gets reborn, and why do we

****, we call it gas, yeah, and a baby comes from that spot, and tommy got on the internet, to learn other people’s

views on the matter, and tim who lived in wisconsin under the name of genner, wrote a story about how methane is used

by buddha to bring an old dead soul and the new soul was created, and it was caused by methane, but the atheists of the

area told tommy, that nothing up there can protect us from the future, NOTHING, I CAN TELL YA, tommy was looking at many

sites explaining about methane, so why don’t we see the deceased, why are they deceased, why do we die, but the answer

to that question is, people die to end suffering, but still tommy was saying, why oh why do we die, how can we protect the world from death,

or is death the answer to the future, like any right wing person reincarnates into a left leaning family, like a selfish man reincarnates to a nice

to everyone family, and nothing can stop his horrible moods, and maybe if people can understand what is on in their minds, there might not

be a problem to be risen, ya see, not everyone is perfect ya know, and mental illness is a form of trauma from bad karma, from previous lives

or current lives, and tommy didn’t understand, why mate, why is there supposed to be a future out there, that nobody can explain.

even if methane is the gas that burns the old, and creates the new, methane also can be used to improve the part of people’s life patterns.

sometimes the old, can’t look after their young, unless they died, and became a new aged young person, created by the new age movement,

this might sound bogus to some, but people are dropping like flies, and being replaced by other humans or animals, and tommy was having a battle,

trying to find out what was in the future, what the future has in store for him, is tommy’s mind going to be in the form of a robot ran by computers and,

everything he writes on his computer, will be in the minds of people who use computers, which makes the future,

the part of an undiscovered for tommy and everyone,

we can’t control the future, the future controls us

Today is Monday, pension day
Tommy is standing in the queue
Behind him is his neighbour
Who everyone calls Nosey Sue

In front of him is Carol
Who works in the general dealers
He saw her in town the other day
In her clapped-out Reliant three-wheeler

The queue is getting longer
And the odour isn't nice
It’s a mixture of sweat and eau de cologne
And some guy is wearing 'old spice'

Carol turns to Tommy and says
“There’s a lot of bills that need paying”
He sees Sue listen attentively
To hear what they are saying

Sue tells them both
“Gas and electric are getting dear”
Carol says “you shouldn’t have been listening” with a sneer
Sue looks put-out and turns her back on them
A heavy smoker at the front coughs
And says his chest is full of phlegm

The  girl behind the counter says “too much information”
The man laughs and discloses he's on the list
For a knee operation
Tommy is tired of waiting
While others stand without a care
He sees a woman further back
Spraying perfume in the air

One of Tommy’s neighbours
Her name is Bernadette
Though attached to an oxygen supply
Says she's gasping for a cigarette
Tommy tells her she should pack them in
But she says with a wry smile
“It’s the smoking that keeps me thin
It wouldn’t be worthwhile”

The queue is getting shorter
Tommy is almost at the front
Heavy smoker spits on the floor
But no-one dares confront

Carol pays her bills
And bids Tommy goodbye
Sue gives her a ***** look
But she has no idea why

Tommy is now at the counter
His pension to collect
The cashier hands him the money
And asks him to check it’s correct

Tommy’s been given a fiver too much
And hands the extra over
Sue comments that if it had happened to her
She'd have been in clover

The cashier thanks Tommy for being honest
Sue says she thinks he's mad
“Honesty's the best policy” Tommy asserts
“It’s a thing of the past and that’s sad”

Sue smirks and says “You’re a fool, Tommy Jones
I'd have kept it without a thought,
Think of all the little treats
That fiver would have bought”

Tommy says to Sue, up-close so she can hear
“I may not have that extra fiver, but my conscience it is clear”
He bids farewell to Bernadette
Still gasping for a smoke
And waves his hand to the rest of the queue
Even though they've never spoke

Sue says “I’ll see you again next week
Or maybe some other time
And I hope the cashier makes a mistake
Then that fiver will be mine”

Tommy smiles at her and thinks
‘Will she ever learn?”
He hopes the cashier doesn't slip up
When it is Sue's turn