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rachel May 2014
NO BUT PLEASE, TELL ME WHAT I’M SUPPOSED TO DO WHEN THE PERSON I LOVE TELLS ME THAT THEY DON’T THINK THEY’RE GOOD ENOUGH AND THAT THEIR LAUGH IS ANNOYING AND THAT THEIR GRIN IS CROOKED, WHEN IN FACT IT’S THE BEST SOUND I’VE HEARD AND THE MOST BEAUTIFUL SMILE I’VE SEEN.
HOW DO I MAKE THEM SEE THEMSELVES AS I DO AND HOW ON EARTH DO I MAKE THEM REALISE THAT THEIR EYES ARE THE COLOUR OF FORESTS AND ADVENTURE AND NOT SIMPLY ‘GREEN’.
HOW DO I GET YOU TO UNDERSTAND THAT I’M NOT GOING TO GET ‘BORED’ OF YOUR BABBLING AND THAT THE RANDOM QUESTONS THAT YOU COME OUT WITH AND THE STREAM OF SILLY FACTS ARE THE HIGHLIGHT OF MY DAY AND NOTHING CLOSE TO AN IRRITATION.
HOW CAN I PERSUADE YOU THAT IT’S NOT FAIR THAT YOU’RE ALLOWED TO TRY TO CONVINCE ME THAT I’M BEAUTIFUL, BUT ALL OF THE COMPLIMENTS I GIVE ARE SUPPOSEDLY NAUGHT BUT LOVELY WHITE LIES.
(HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW)
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I could give you this ‘poem’ to try and explain exactly how I feel, but I’m sure you’d only end up telling me how ‘wonderful’ (or some other kind adjective) it is instead of discussing the fact that it sings your praises in block capitals and sentences so long you run out of breath. Because you’re like that. You’d rather see the good in everyone else and ignore all of that which lies in you. You’d rather put yourself down with a smile than realise the truth, and that is that YOU. ARE. DIVINE.
answers would be appreciated if you have them. thank you.
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I am the witness to an empty age
Feel the noose as tight as the open grave
See the truth and call it lies
And as you speak someone dies
And the poets go on writing amid the cries
. . . of anger and the questons why

See there is no justice anymore
The cops have become the thieves and even more
Poisons **** us just breathing air
The heads of states refuse to care
And the raindrops glow as they fall on the wheat
Compliments of Fukushima and climate's changing increasing heat

So I have been called to testify
So have you as you were there
But like the billions who wait their turn
Justice hangs by sword on a single strand of gold/orange hair
its not unlike humanity to seek answers. we look toward our largest, most near satelite and; well nothing--at least until a few decades ago. Nothing more could be done than to gaze at its surface and ponder the texture and deformations of its outer most layer. we have, since, spent billions of dollars to, in my best aproximation, spend a few hours there trapsing around on it. to smash a golf ball a little bit farther than one could on their best day on the green.

the stories contained herein, are little more than testaments of how individuals, without golf clubs let alone space craft, have sought the same relationship with foriegn textures.

and, while these inner-efforts have been as costly as those toward our moon, and that their gleanings have been equally fleeting, and the fact that their experiences provide more questons than answers, it remains that, just like our excursions toward a spinning rock, the dabblings of psychonauts are just as much an undertaking of a serious narrative--whether personal or univeral.
and here we find ourselves half-way understood, and even less understanding searching for a narrative. yes, and now, the narrative may even be abandoned in search of it, as DiVinci would have never imagined the telescope without first dreaming to travel amongst the stars.
may these entries be only a comma in a Proustian sentactical excursion. a pause amidst a thought still forming. a psychological hypothesis, equally ready to be both further tested or discarded.
it may have begun

— The End —