In '61, years after Tarzan was born, flawlessly & uncomplicatedly, like a biker out of nowhere, Stalingrad became Volgograd. Tarzan met his first Pygmy during child-birth. It was a Pygmy who severed his umbilical cord. As a tyke, Tarzan was the subject of Pygmy care-takers. His first romantic conquest was a Pygmy woman. In school, Tarzan stood up for Pygmies as the president of the Pygmy school board in Pygmy County, Tennessee. Tarzan knew Pygmies, professionally, scholastically, politically, socially & romantically. Throughout his life, Tarzan defended tiny Pygmies and gigantical Pygmies. In a 1951 U.P.I. interview Tarzan said, “I will be buried in a Pygmy cemetery.”