Hi, my name is NotGoodEnough
But you can call me:
BadListener
Uninterested
Indecisive
TooTired
Lazy
Boring
Uncomfortable
Insecure
Or Unfocused
                          At least, that's what he calls me

24 hours in a day
7 days in a week
I’ve been trying to learn how to deal with you
How to deal with your words
That are sharp
Sharp enough to cut my skin
& through my heart
You see me in pain but you just sit there with that grin
You say :
Im not pretty enough
Not feminine enough
Not curvy enough
BASICALLY
what youre tryna say is that...
im Not good enough
now you’re gone
& im here, still alone
Trying to Hide my feelings
But the band aids you got me...
I’m still bleeding
But you know what ??!
I’m not ready to quit
my mother taught me my worth
No matter how the shoe fits
My father showed me
What it was to be treated right
So I do not have to feel guilty
Because you wanted me out of your sight
I don’t need you to tell me what I am
I am good enough
Not to someone else, but to myself
I am so much better than what you say I am
I am proud, just being myself
​

I don't agree or like how it isn't normal or common or nice to say that I don't know if I'm supposed to be with you.
you make me feel so empty sometimes. like when I think of you saying her name or telling me those stories that send my heart to the bottom of my torso
how am I supposed to know if this is how it's supposed to be? sure, baby, you make me so happy. you make me ache with want. is that how it's supposed to be?
you know and I've said
love has never been worth it for me
and God it's never made sense
this doesn't make sense.
you make me feel like I'm running on empty, babe
you make me feel drained and sorry and restless and forever seventeen
you make me jealous and angry and you make me feel just as notgoodenough as the rest of em, love
why can't I just say this to you? it's not like it isn't any of your business. this could be a feeling that keeps my ring off your finger.

baby
baby
I wanna make your stomach flip
but I have never been deserved by anyone
I have always been too good
too kind
too much too soon
too ready to be loved
the way
I always should have been





I wish you would have been the first