My family eats dinner underwater.
We bounce between the seats of our chairs
and the bottom of the table,
we pass the stuffing
as it floats off the plate,
and no one seems to blink.
My parents just talk about how safe
it is, here,
below the surface.
No gay fiances
or athiests
or postmodernists
or liberal Christians.
I am the only one with an oxygen tank.
“I have never owned a tent that kept the rain out.”

My family camps with gear from the 80s.
We cook in bare aluminum
and eat with volatile plastics,
a crusty dining cloth pinned
to the warped picnic bench.
My feet and head push
through the tent wall
and into the rain fly.
I always wake up wet.
“I have never owned a bed that was long enough.”

In house 1 and 2,
my feet hang off the end
of the bed, circulation halted
at the ankles
by the wooden frame.
In dorm 1 and 2,
I lie diagonally on the bed,
my shoulder hitting the wall.
In dorm 3,
My feet are pressed
flat against the wardrobe.
I fall asleep not knowing
who I wake up for.
“I have never loved anyone I didn't have to.”

its
the TV commercials
the fake ****
the campaign trail
the welfare recipients
psychotic shooters
bible thumpers
and athiests
salesmen
gangsters and
special interests
its junk mail
the court system
its the poor paying more
the ignorant
the scared
the recluse
the extroverts
the sales tax
the hospital bills
zombie ammo
beggars making more than me
nuclear threats
starvation
animal abuse
drug addiction
half assery
its the bullies
the police
its advantage
in retreat
the lies
the masks
the crys
the laughs
its all the ******* that ******* annoys me

I'm a Christian
Not a Creationist
I'm a Helper
Not a Homophobe
I'm Righteous (Or I try to be)
Not racist
I'm a Believer
Not a Belittler
I love
Not laugh
I try
Not tease
I decide
Not to discriminate
I hate
Hate
I'm A Christian
Not an *******
And no matter what YOU believe
Those two do not have to be synonymous
I BELIEVE
In a God that created us Different but Equal
In a God that Loves
In A God who created my Universe
Whether it happened in 7 days
Or billions of years
The Bible does not have to be LITERAL
And Evolution does not have to be RULED OUT
I believe in Science
And I believe in Salvation
I believe in God
And I believe in the Human Genome
I believe in Equality
And I believe in Forgiveness
I believe in Mistakes
And I believe in Miracles
I believe in Love
No matter where it's found
And I believe that Loving Athiests
Will go to Heaven before Hateful Christians
I BELIEVE IN A LOT OF THINGS
I BELIEVE IN GOD
And that doesn't have to mean
That I'm Homophobic
That I'm Racist
That I'm CRAZY
That I'm Mean
That I'm Narrow-Minded
Or that I'm Perfect
BECAUSE I'M NONE OF THESE THINGS
I hate Hate
But I still Hate
Because I'm Human
And I Fail
And I KNOW that I Fail
And I Fix
And I Forgive
Because I believe in a God
That believes in Me

In the rain we met
On a Sunday too
A day for promenading
With a girl round Hyde Park

From nowhere you sprang
You appeared before me
Fresh faced - like the sun
Peeping through the rain clouds

Your pretty features - blonde hair
What - nineteen?
Too good for me
Yet you chose to stay

And you smiled as we walked
Laughing through the rain
As we shared my umbrella
And listened to the racists

And the Marxists,the athiests
Even the preachers too
And those who did announce
'That the end is nigh'

Your eyes sparkled
With the mirth and joy of it
To the world did we appear
Like another couple in love?

Perhaps - but then
I let you slip - I had to
And you joined the crowds on Oxford Street
And I chose to stay

With the Marxists in Hyde Park
In the rain
My love owned by another
On that Sunday afternoon.

I AM A BUDDHIST, I HAVE ******* MY FAMILY
SO I AM LEAVINGT THEM ALONE
YA SEE I TRY AND BE NICE TO EVERYONE, BUT MY SCHITZOPHRENIC VOICES
MAKES ME YELL OUT TO THE STARS TO LET ME BE
THIS LADY IS COOL, BUT, SOMETIMES IT'S DEPENDING ON THE SITUATION
LIKE, IF YA GOT A BIG JOB, A PERFECT FAMILY, AND A LOT OF CASH
IT'S EASY TO BELIEVE IN BEHAVING AND MORALS
BUT IF YA HAVEN'T BEEN GIVEN THE CHANCE TO0 BE FAMOUS, EVEN IF
YOUR STUFF IS WORTHY OF MONEY,

I TRY NOT TO MAKE ANYONE FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE, WITH WHAT I SAY
I WANT TO FIND MY INNER PEACE, I DON'T WANT PEOPLE TEASING ME
IN MY HEAD, I HATE DAD CALLING ME DUMMY FROM IN THE COSMOS
BUT I WAS THE TEASIE OF THE FAMILY, AND I WANT IT TO FUCKEN STOP
I TRIED TO SHOW MUM AND DAD, SWEARING IS JUST WORDS, NOTHING MORE
I JUST THOUGHT IT WAS COOL TO SWEAR AT MY FOLKS, I WASN'T SLANDERING
THEM, I WASN'T TRYING TO UPSET THEM,, I WAS A COOL KID, THE COOLEST
KID AROUND, I WAS A COOL KID, SO MY MATES CAN FEEL AT EASE
I CARE FOR MY FELLOW HUMAN'S, I TRY AND RESPECT HUMANS
I HATE WHEN PEOPLE TREAT ME LIKE3 MUM AND DAD, THEY ARE OLDIES
THEY HELPED BUT THEY WERE OLD FLAMING HAGS
I SAY THIS IN THE NICEST POSSIBLE WAY
I TELL MY MATES, THEY GO HEY
I KNOW I UPSETTED PEOPLE BY TYING THEM UP, OR NOT RESPECTING THEIR
WAYS TO ENJOY LIFE, THIS LADY, HAS NO IDEA, OF WHAT IT FEELS LIKE, FOR ME
A COSMIC BELIEVER, WHO WANTS TO BE A BUDDHIST, I LIKE THIS LADY
BUT SHE NEEDS TO GET OUT MORE, MORALS, STINK, IT'S THE REASON WHY
WE HAVE ATHIESTS BEING HOOLIGANS, MY PROBS, WERE BECAUSE I WAS
GREAME THORNE KIDNAPPED AT 8 AND PATRICK DUNBAR KIDNAPPED AT 8
I FIND IT HARD TO EXPRESS MYSELF WITHOUT ARGUMENTS, I AM NOT SHY
TO BE A MAN, NOT A FIGHTING MAN, A BUDDHIST MAN, THIS LADY NEEDS
TO LEARN ABRAHM'S BUDDHIST BELIEFS
I CRAVE LIFE, BUT MY COSMIC BELIEF IS TRAPPING ME THINKING
YOU ARE GOING TO DIE ONE DAY, WHICH BRINGS OUT A VOICE FROM
THE EARLY 90S, YOUR GETTING KIDNAPPED ONE DAY BRIAN, NOT WHILE
YOUR TRYING TO BE A COOL KID TO THEM, I RESPECT THAT CANBERRA PEOPLE
DIDN'T SAY THIS, BUT I FIND IT HARD TO BE RESPECTED BY THEM, CAUSE I WAS
TRYING TO BE A YOUNG DUDE, YOUR COOL, BUT, YOU NEED TO UNDERSTAND
ABOUT POOR BUDDHISTS SUCH AS MYSELF