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lil veggie
protecting animals    i suck at writing and im actually a hedgehog russian spy

Poems

Mateuš Conrad Feb 2019
i could eat a bun of bread,
with green fills of veg.,
and a blue indian curry
sauce:
and... no ****** in sight...
and i thouhgt:
how did their cuisine
and their theology kept
them... intact?!

                the prominent
argument against the colonizing,
in post-scriptum
white man...
oh, hell,
i'm just a drunk...
you fiddle it out!

  but when i ate the sauce i cooked
myself,
and didn't eat any meat...
i started to realize...
YOU BECOM VEGGIE...
BUT NO VEGGIE
SPICIES...
SALT... & PEPPER!
TRASH!
YOU EAT VEGGIE
WITH SIBERIAN
TOOLS OF CULINARY...
STUPENDOUR!

no... i could become vegetarian...
once your burn my tongue...
once you burn WHITE
into your...
             lazy sorry ***** of
being...
  how come
the west indies...
the caribbean blacks
didn't entertain being
moved back to the west coast
of africa?!

subjective... what?!
******?!
i thought i was the magic
disappearing jew
of the europeans for a while?
no?

listen... i don't care...
the english are still the people
who care to play cricket
among their former
colonial subjects,
and send, eddie the eagle types
to ski jump among germans
and the japanese!

oh... but you are...
  "welcome"!
high-pitched: he he he he he he!
so i read yiou reading me
as ******?
yes?
         we're fine with that!
"we" yeah...
did that imply the pronoun
utility of "you",
or "one"...
                           or "i"?
see... thing with these english
people:
i... never know!
i bind myselfto finding
the intelligent "one"...
i never find anything other than
the irish, or alien-speculation...
then i drink enough,
take the pills...
fall asleep...
  sleep...
and...
          tomorrow is no better
than today...
GOOOOOOOOOOOOOD
MORNING
NON-MIRRORING
VIETNAM!

it's a fetish for a ******...
like... revival of the degenerate
nature of the Polish-Commonwealth
nobles... albeit in England...
grammar... grammar was involved?!
****!
normans?! no... swedes?!
i'm pwetty suwe the fwench
didn't awwive...
         the Spanish Armada!

no...
        what?!
just me?
                honest to god...
you can be a god honest
polytheist...
and a vegetarian...
once you have the spices...
no spices: no go go slaughtering
the pig...    

            all the spices of
the Punjab, the Bengal...
honest to god,
you keep your deities...
have them,
if only the part of me
that was a slav that
also wasn't a Russian...

blue Indian! superior cooking!
superior theology!
no cricket!
no stupid rock game
and no no socks game!
you win!
i will become vegetarian!
just send us the spices!
i will not eat the meat
once you send us the spices
to accompany the veg.
to sub. the meat!

that one sauce of y'er...
poppy seeds...
kashmiri chillies...
dry coconut...
         no PORK...
i promise you...
no PORK...
no Russians in Afghanistan...
but none of your
MADE IN CHINA
toothpicks around 'ere
either...
deal?

p.s. this was always
going to be a failure...
but it was always worth
the blockage game of
stalling...
the inevitable script
of: tsunami anti unus...

          i don't even like
"my tribe"...
                  but i was almost
convinced to turning
vegetarian
via all the indian spices
being employed...
    you can only become
veggie with the right sort
of spices...
the spices i was given
to enlist me in reverting
to a... alternative "gnosis"?
salt... pepper...
now...
            can i nibble
       on a ***** from Beirut?!
no... literally,
with the language
i use...
you will not have
to will or want
to address me
with a dear x,
and a sincerely y...
        
          but given that
you are all for formality...
hell...
   you pet the puppy; savvy?
no...
        in a world
where you both need
Jesus Christ and
Pontius Pilate...
you... need... neither.
Mike Hauser Nov 2014
Tis the season once again
For me to cast my vote
This year I'm going Bananas
Instead of Artichoke

When it comes to Apples & Oranges
They're pretty much the same
As I close the curtain on the booth
And just start punching names

Asparagus is tops on my list
Much more than Brussels Sprouts
What Veggie will lead the charge
We'll have to wait to find that out

So let's freshen up the voting block
And somewhere in between
As we vote raw our favorite vegetable
The rest of them we'll steam
This to me makes as much sense as Nov 4th to tell the truth!
Mateuš Conrad Apr 2017
.how does philosophy and psychology differ? well. psychology was spawned from having to focus on the "need" of a "learning" for writing: speak comes easy, writing, not so much. psychology is so easily spoken, philosophy isn't, philosophy is like a child talking to an adult when psychology / sophistry comes into play /
    refrain... how do i rephrase this statement?
      ah! philosophy is like a child talking to a child...
psychology is like an adult talking to a child...
psychology is a supertition of knowledge...
philosophy? a fear of knowledge.
  knowledge does not make happy people,
or gullible talkative types, either.

... the birth of psychology contra philosophy... the when sophia over-powered the philosophers with too many observation cues... maxims and aphorisms... la rochefoucauld & nietzsche... it began with a dialogue, it maintained itself in a solipsistic monologue... it ended up as advertisement slogans: maxims and aphorisms.... cute observations: seen, "seen" but never tested... i've seen the ugly side of psychology... it's psychiatry... the big pharma carousel and slurred sedative spreschen... try getting a slurred sedative spreschen out of me... i'll sock you... i'm this: )( close to the itch of throwing a punch, i almost forgot what implies: peace... me dancing on old college's (edinburgh) roof while listening to: the shins, new slang... that was peace...
  that was me: rooftop, night, moon,
and the lingo of limbs floating freely off my torso
and at the same attached to it...

       i once cared about a "double" chin...
i grew a beard,
stopped worrying about: when will i learn
the violin... fiddled with my beard
for a while and figured: not now,
not ever...
                much much more gracious
than fiddling with ***** hair...
after all: a beard is very much akin
to ***** hair...

          jordan peterson and the old testament...
right...
       if ever a cain...
  siberia looks like the ideal prison...
after all god said, or "said": let him walk off his sins...
hard to walk off your sins when caged...
siberia? perfect training ground...
all that ******* being sold, cain? a vegetarian...
abel? sacrificed animal flesh...
paradox... so... god... expected us...
to remain hunter gatherers?!
  cain was thinking ahead!
he sacrificed fruits and veg. and...
cain was like: we better start thinking about
morphing into an agricultural society!
god praised abel, the neanderthal hunter gatherer...
cain was like: but look! look! wheat! bread!
we can feed more people!
god said: hunter gatherer! abel! win win!
cain paid homage to god
via fruit & veg...
abel... via kosher blood sacrifices...
now... either i'm just plain stupid...
or god is a really bad fiction....
written up by circumcised men
who never learned to *******:
since: the obvious impediment restriction...

cain was a veggie... abel sacrificed animals...
mea culpa somnum... send this whole
died on the cross
          ergo saved ergo ergo
my fault ******* to sleep... i'm tired of this mantra
like an eskimo is bored of ice...
i'm bored of listening to semitic proverbs...
   i'm bored of their rubrics...
their: "fate-warnings",
their superstitions... a semite will forever remain
a semite for me: kippah-***-tonsure...
or a camel-jockey brigade... lucky them they settled
on a once grand mountain range
of Sahara that was the bed for oil...

oh look! wow! i can think for myself!
wonderful...
               which is what i always thought
would become reality...
i'd watch a video...
not comment,
                 and write a rebuttal...
                  which would fall on deaf ears...
or that sacred minority report...
i'll face it if you face it:
the monotheistic god of the semites...
is as ridiculous
as the poloytheism of the pagans...
      the monotheistic god of the semites
is just too... pristine...
     give too many omni- prefixes
to a being and he becomes, boring...
like superman...
                  and to still preserve intellectual
integrity within the ontological omni-
zoo?
                              hey! feel free!
       i much prefer to believe in a "god"
of a limited circumstance...
                  as the will of creation? sure: omni- etc.,
but as a spectator in the back of the minds
of the "created"? cameo presence...
hence not omni- etc.,
                  after all: free will is free will...
and it requires no divine intervention
in order for it to be proved...
  however bad it happens to be upon
embodiment...
    god was never a source of intervention...
the jews begged prayed lampooned for
that sort of god...
did it fare them well? i don't think so...
god was always a cameo for me...
   something i could rely on...
in terms of finding my grand jurisprudence
libra... when the human sense of justice
would disintegrate...
and i'd be met with the west saxon mantra
of: innocent until proven guilty...
or a jimmy saville...
  i was wronged,
no one will believe me,
fair enough...
                     at least i've found some source
of compensation,
for the time being,
before i believe: not to be reunited
with the dead loved ones...
but before i believe to stand
in the grand court of judgement...
with king Solomon as the prosecutor
.


do what the english language does, it uses
hyphens to create compounds...  just do this:
            object-object...
   would i **** it?                depends on the follow-ups
that constrict the two-way "system"
of re-appropriation
            with the german language...
it really is the new: north south east west
"copernican" discussion...
    the **** am i supposed to do
(as a male) with an object
     that's not object=object... because it isn't...
      or object≠object: well? because it
clearly isn't...
                      ****, bro?
                       can i get a hotdog instead?
yeah yeah, extra onions on top...
                            but write it out in
that natural **** schizoi fashion
    as post-german compounds... hyphenated,
but instead include the following variations...
      and put them up for a narcissus inspection
and ask: are they chiral?
               stress-free is a compound word...
           but it's easier with an object-object
compound... 'cos' then you can **** around with
object-object... object=object...
             object≠object...
                                object~object...­
                       object≈object...
                           and   object≡object...
it's close proximity, i gather, so it's hard to
orientate yourself as you might with 1 + 1 = 2...
                      but it's in english, and english is
prone to try and forget the norman conquest
and rekindle itself as: with a germanic origin,
and all that custard that modern german
looks like: i'd be sooner wearing sun-glasses than
actual optic magnifiers if i was found
reading german krupahunddoughchew...
                               or the likes of this fake example.
true transgender? it happens in the ≡ category...
the binary...
       it means: even though you're male
   and can't fulfil the female role of a reproductive
****** capacity... i'd still *******...
    joke's on me...
                 but otherwise? apart from the starting point
in the english language...
      the hyphen and compounding words
as is the "vogue" standard...
               so working from object-object...
and then including the stated variations
                       of a dualistic **** by dichotomy...
         ah man... i'm just talking about
how english is trying to resurrect its saxon
ancestors... what with creating these hyphenated
words... you're going to shove some
      other mathematical symbol in between
the two stated words and think of
                                  some grander schematics...
the death of the university coincided with
the death of the asylum...
                               evidently 2 + 2 does equal 4...
         but it's still a case of working
from object-object...
                            object/subject-subject/object?
north, east, west, south...
                      what the ****?!
                        we have modern neanderthals
roaming this place, and they're faking
  the status **** sapiens... that the hell can
evolve from that?
                    clear and bite-sized truth acknowledgement:
we're **** schizoi... split brained...
                     we've reached a stage where
we're not modelled by a multiplication impetus,
but an obelus impetus (÷)...
                       western society figured...
as **** similis: we have a billion chinese and
a billion blue indians of the raj...
                                why should we be bothered?
                isn't that the case of what's happening?
unearthing the nag hammadi library
                               and the whole transgender movement?
oi! where's the vatican! get those cardinals off their *****!
                                 white, red, purple, black.
pope, cardinal, bishop... priest...
           sure sure... brown....                          monks.
but we're losing a fight against neanderthal islam...
                   come your hungry, your oppressed...
your first cousin ******* retards.
                                         i know i'm taunting,
i'm taunting with a reason: neanderthal islam....
                 so much for history and gloating about it
citing the ottomans; thing is... i have lost the ability
to fear death... i'm actually teasing it, more and more,
day after day, after yet another day...
                          it's a bit like the reverse process of
castration... i'm feeling up pigs' genitals, saying:
      oh look! this porky can sign in #A!
                               quick! to the castrato oink corp!
yep... etymology... the alternative to reading
history.