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Stara
A moment a pain for a life of happiness.
astara
Indonesia    just a girl who confess her feelings with some poem;

Poems

Mateuš Conrad May 2017
ja, między swoimi? na wygnaniu? ja? jeden? z kim, i z dla kogo potrzeb? twoje, twej, tego, co mnie nigdy nie znał? tu?! tu nie ma na na narodu... ani ludzi wartych o przyjaźń, co by dało wartość, zwane: lata. o to zapomnienie, warte, złoto i gruz, na to samo w chinach, praca, zajęcie, ***, i to: tak, owszem, tak jest, panie profesorze, tak będzie... i nie inaczej... stara babuszka w lesie... skryta, skłania się po grzyby, potem na targowicy, w hustce, sprzeda sekret tych perfum. oh tych gnań... do tego: co było, i już nigdy już nigdy nie będzie. ah te piękne muchomory... polka-kropki w taniec, jak niby w twej bluzie... czy też w twej spódnicy, szyk, na tą ostatnią noc, gdzie mnie nie było, na tej zwanej, nad pamiętnej, studniówce; pisane, ręką, dziecką w rękach poronienia, o latach osiem; poronienia od narodu dar, co był bliskim tym co byli nad nim, w ramach lat, przed nim.

the saxons said the same, we don't mix with these people,
if i want to drink diluted ****-worth's of whiskey
i'll drink what the dogs **** out... and tell you,
it's like magic mushrooms!
    you know the difference between economic migrants
and migrants per se?
   the latter do not "conquer"...
    they don't make themselves habitual, comfortable...
they don't earn or learn a trade...
               they're here, to learn what the parasitic
government provides, taxation, en masse thieving...
only to exploit it, the system of benefits.
                                 akin to a saxon, or a norman, i'm
standing on these shores, and trying to thinkg of a good
reason to mate with the women on these isles...
   and i'm thinking... why dilute my d.n.a.,
     as the expression is made plain by the intellectuals,
my *d.n.a.
requires an upkeep...
     well, thank you for indicating to me where sensible
objectivity ends, and when true subjectivity, or poetry,
begins.
  i was planning to find out when all these objective
superiority statements would end, they just started to bore me,
sure, they made me feel uneasy,
     the internal dimensions of the object i encompass
are, so much less interesting than the external aspects
of the same object... within the arithmetic of 1 + 1 + 1 = 3!
3 + d!
       economic migrants simply show the ineffectiveness
of the host nation's workforce... it's in plain sight...
they're either lazy, callous, inefficient, irregular,
      low-quality proof (regarding the necessary output
for a satisfactory end-product),
                               in a nut-shell:
a bunch of wankers who just want to shove, but can't push!
              or heave!
why would i want to dilute my blood among these
people? sure, they can jingle and jive, and sing me a ******
christmas carol... apart from that? a potato famine.
      title? celtic-blood.... ginger-red-carrot-hair...
            sometimes there are just natural prejudices,
or let's say, personally experienced prejudices taking hold
of your writing, that you simply can't obstruct...
          some four-leaf clover ******* fairy of a boy tells you:
you should mingle with your own...
         you're polite enough to write an answer,
rather than tell it to his face... when you flying to dublin, you ****?
Mateuš Conrad Jul 2016
there's only one philosopher you can play ping-pong with -
even the existentialists conjure him up
like Aladdin's genie - rubbing that
maxim so frequently you'd wish
you never had the genie or a talking
goldfish with a starter, main and dessert -
you can literally bounce that Cartesian
1 + 1 = 2 with yourself forever -
it's the opposite of clarifying the waking
hour, it's less hour, less decade, less century,
less zeitgeist - it's more centimetre
it's more nano-metre - it's not a marathon
of contemplation, but a constant reminder -
that's what it is, a constant reminder -
i've been digesting Kant's 2nd volume of
the infamous critique (infamous given
von Kleist's suicide because of it) for a year or so,
i'll finish it, but i'll have to cram a few
book reviews, newspaper articles and poems
in between the claustrophobic fudge -
reading Kant is sometimes like walking
in a Crusader stronghold - those Teutons and
Hospitaller are like modern American history
cults bemused by a collective psychosis -
Jung's field-day review - it's not a question
of consciousness or the individual's association
and subsequent identification with it for
a self and subsequent will - with the collective
unconscious comes collective psychosis
of the waking hour - the Crusader knights shut themselves
up in the strongholds and performed the literal
aspects of the Last Supper - you'd think
the German football kit would be: a black shirt,
red trousers and yellow suspenders -
but they chose black and white attire to pay homage
to die Großschäffer of Marienburg or Königsberg (
Kœnigsberg - soft German tongue will do in Latin's
revision - or modern Kaliningrad: the Las Vegas of
the Baltic) - the Bach in Lao Che's Komtur -
what a tsunami! to live life and appreciate the artistic
outputs of others... a house infested with spiders
is one of joy... but even the existentialists testify
the ping-pong with Descartes - other philosophers
are narrative encapsulations - you never deviated
from them - you ingest the entirety of the narratives
and leave them be - Descartes made mathematical-grammar,
people adopted a stance to over-quote him,
or simply over-use him - some think philosophy
has a genesis in Socrates, but it really doesn't,
not these days, the genesis is Descartes -
once poets cited heroes akin to Achilles, modern
heroes are stable ******* by feminist citation -
stara panna myśli że jest sarną; to-ast! -
philosophers, well, you'd imagine that to be the case
with all that perfumery of pacifism -
say bye bye Achilles, and with the drudgery of thought
having no outlet via censor Mr. Hammer, Mr. Brick,
Mr. Stock-Exchange - oh look, a mini Mr series -
how fun! where're the monkey swings? you will
have to make poets admire philosophers -
i hate, hate! HATE, HATE! populist poets -
they're like cockroaches - they're so unhelpful -
they call themselves the people's poets -
all you need is for philosophy to germinate in the medium
of poetry for some pre-Socratic to emerge -
i HATE POPULIST POETS! it's a passion i'll never divorce -
but truly - modern philosophy will have a hard time
divorcing itself from the Cartesian 1 + 1 = 2, and given
the symbolism of math, how about a few examples?
        x
standard John Smith
(multiplier, plumbers assemble)
                                                                                            +
                                                                               (e.g. Kant,
                                                                apparently additions
                                                               to the expression: i am man)

          -
(the throng of the Holocaust,
that's minus the would-be
outlived lives)
                                                                          ÷
                                                  (e.g. Stalin, Comrade Mao,
                                              ******, i.e. the people that never
                                            allow dialectics to equilibrate
                                           in a single individual - from Socrates
                                                 many have picked up a hammer
                                                 and hammered a few million nails in -
                                                few picked up dialectics -
                                                what Socrates invented is like
                                                a haunted house -
                                                the emergence of the schizoid-mind,
                                                personas that divide people,
                                                you have Neo-Nazis to account for
                                                and proto-Communists -
                                                what a mess having the proof
                                                of a perfected debate
                                                being so undernourished -
                                          barren - in the end merely a status quo -

see what i mean by the Cartesian ping-pong?
you can't do that with Kant or Kierkegaard -
this ******* keeps resurfacing - every single time -
you just can't **** the fact that he's redrawn thinking
and being conscious and that chestnut of
a mirror and self-consciousness - Narcissus's c.c.t.v. -
it's not *** like insect conscious behaviourism -
more like date, second date, third date...
then maybe... maybe... the bony harlot, right...
sit on it for long enough and it apparently feels
like an outer body experience - still, Herr Denken and
ping-pong (alt. to Herbert's Mr. Cogito).
Mateuš Conrad Apr 2016
stara prawda...
                                    to tylko nuda;
coś więcej?
    eh... chyba emerytura -
tak na policzku
braku aesthetics
na tle cegieł - bo to ha ha dla
"uczonych" z prostatą na telefonach
niby jak kupcy z arabii
jest równe sezon z wybrykami szeików
kórw i koni - ale nie jest tłem z czołgami
Tiananmen - o tyle blisko by dać
wywrot historii wspomnieniem
słowo Panzer:
nad dot com boom słownictwa;
jak ten noworodek lewicy szczy w portki
bojąc sie ozora powiękrzenia zasobu słów!