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Mateuš Conrad
36/M/Essex (England)    as attempted in third person biographical form: will not write in third person, an ongoing auto- and first person - salvo!
Sam Conrad
Ashley Conradie
A passionate writer - confused with, yet bewildered by life.

Poems

It happened one day at the year’s white end,
Two neighbors called on an old-time friend
And they found his shop so meager and mean,
Made gay with a thousand boughs of green,
And Conrad was sitting with face a-shine
When he suddenly stopped as he stitched a twine
And said, “Old friends, at dawn today,
When the **** was crowing the night away,
The Lord appeared in a dream to me
And said, ‘I am coming your guest to be’.
So I’ve been busy with feet astir,
Strewing my shop with branches of fir,
The table is spread and the kettle is shined
And over the rafters the holly is twined, t
And now I will wait for my Lord to appear
And listen closely so I will hear animated bullet
His step as He nears my humble place,
And I open the door and look in His face. . .”
So his friends went home and left Conrad alone,
For this was the happiest day he had known,
For, long since, his family had passed away
And Conrad has spent a sad Christmas Day.
But he knew with the Lord as his Christmas guest
This Christmas would be the dearest and best,
And he listened with only joy in his heart.
And with every sound he would rise with a start
And look for the Lord to be standing there
In answer to his earnest prayer
So he ran to the window after hearing a sound,
But all that he saw on the snow-covered ground
Was a shabby beggar whose shoes were torn
And all of his clothes were ragged and worn.
So Conrad was touched and went to the door
And he said, “Your feet must be frozen and sore,
And I have some shoes in my shop for you
And a coat that will keep you warmer, too.”
So with grateful heart the man went away,
But as Conrad noticed the time of day
He wondered what made the dear Lord so late
And how much longer he’d have to wait,
When he heard a knock and ran to the door,
But it was only a stranger once more,
A bent, old crone with a shawl of black,
A bundle of ******* piled on her back.
She asked for only a place to rest,
But that was reserved for Conrad’s Great Guest.
But her voice seemed to plead,
“Don’t send me away Let me rest awhile on Christ-
mas day.”
So Conrad brewed her a steaming cup
And told her to sit at the table and sip.
But after she left he was filled with dismay
For he saw that the hours were passing away.
And the Lord had not come as He said He would,
And Conrad felt sure he had misunderstood.
When out of the stillness he heard a cry,
“Please help me and tell me where am I.”
So again he opened his friendly door
And stood disappointed as twice before,
It was only a child who had wandered away
And was lost from her family on Christmas Day. .
Again Conrad’s heart was heavy and sad,
But he knew he should make this little child glad,
So he called her in and wiped her tears
And quieted her childish fears. animated bullet
Then he led her back to her home once more
But as he entered his own darkened door,
He knew that the Lord was not coming today
For the hours of Christmas had passed away.
So he went to his room and knelt down to pray
And he said, “Dear Lord, why did you delay,
What kept You from coming to call on me,
For I wanted so much Your face to see. . .”
When soft in the silence a voice he heard,
“Lift up your head for I kept My word–
Three times My shadow crossed your floor–
Three times I came to your lonely door–
For I was the beggar with bruised, cold feet,
I was the woman you gave to eat,
And I was the child on the homeless street.”/////


by Helen Steiner Rice
~ Scripture ~
“Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Come,
you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheri-
tance, the kingdom prepared for you since the cre-
ation of the world.
For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat,
I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I
was a stranger and you invited me in,
I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and
you looked after me, I was in prison and you came
to visit me.’
“Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did
we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give
you something to drink?
When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or
needing clothes and clothe you?
When did we see you sick or in prison and go to
visit you?’
“The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you
did for one of the least of these brothers of mine,
you did for me.’
By Helen Stiner Rice)

የ ገና እንግዳ


የሆነ ቀን ነው ነገሩ የተከሰተው፣
ዓመቱ ተገባዶ ሲሰናበት፣
ደርቦ ካባ ፀዓዳ ወተት!
ሊጎበኙት መጡ ሁለት ጎረቤቶች፣
የኮናርድ አብሮአደጎች፣
ወና ሆኖ ተዳክሞ አገኙት ሱቁን፣
ገርጥቶ ተቆራምዶ እሱን!
ተወት አድርጎ የሚሰፋውን፣
ፈልጎ እንዲሰሙ የሚለውን፣
“ባንጀሮቼ አድምጡኝ፣
ዛሬ በማለዳ
አውራ ዶሮ ሌሊቱን
በጩከት ሲሸኝ፣
ጌታ በሕልሜ ተገልፆ
ይህን አለኝ
‘እመጣለሁ ቤትህ፣ ልጎበኝህ!’
ይኸው አለሁ
ያለፋታ ቤቴ ውስጥ እንዲሁ ስመላለስ፣
የፅድ ዝንጣፊ ስቆርጥ ስነሰንስ፣
ጠረጴዛውን ስዘረጋ - ስጎትት ሳስጠጋ፣
የሻይ ጀበናውን ስፍቅ - እስኪያብረቀርቅ!
በመለጠቅ አድርጊያለሁ ደማቅ፣
ባለቀይ ኳስ ገመድ፣
በሸሪራዎቹ ቁልቁል ተንጠላጥሎ፣
በየአቅጣጫው እንዲወርድ!
እናም እስኪገለጥልኝ ጌታ፣
እየተጠባበቅኩ ነው የእግሩን ኮሽታ፣
ሲገለጽ በሬን ከፍቼ፣
ፊቱን ለማየት ጓጉቼ፣
ትንሽ ተጠግቼ!”
ባልንጀሮቹ የሚለውን ሰምተውት፣
ሄዱ ቤታቸው ብቻውን ትተውት!
እሱ እንደው፣
በጣም የተደሰተበት ወቅት ነው፡፡
ከዚያ ጊዜ ጀምሮ ቤተሰቦቹ
ተራ በተራ ሞተዋል፣
ኮናርድም ብዙ ብቸኛ ቀዝቃዛ
ገናዎች አሳልፏል!
ሆኖም ነበረው ትልቅ እምነት፣
በእንግድነት ስለሚገኝለት፣
ጌታ ያቺን ቀን፣ ቤቱን እንደሚያደምቅለት!
ነበር ተደስቶ፣
የሚያደምጥ ጆሮውን አንቅቶ!
ድምፅ ሰምቶ ቀጥ አለ በቅፅበት፣
መጥቶ እንደው ጌታ ድንገት፣
ለብርቱ ፀሎቱ ምላሽ ለመስጠት!
ወደ መስኮቱ ሮጦ ሲጠጋ
በዚያ በረዶ የሸፈነው፣
አስፋልት ላይ ያየው፣
ብትቶ የለበሰ ለማኝን ነው -
ምስኪን፣ አፍንጫው የተገነጠለ፣
ጫማ፣ የተጫማ!
“ደንዝዞ ቆስሎ ይሆናል እግርህ፣
ጫማ አለ ሱቄ በልክህ፣
ግባ ልስጥህ-
ኮትም የሚያሞቅህ!”
ለማኙ የሚፈልገውን አግኝቶ፣
ወጥቶ ሄደ ረክቶ!
ኮናርድ ግን
በመገረም ጌታ ለምን እንደቆየ፣
ሰዓቱን አየ፡፡
ከዚያም ቆመ ግራ በመጋባት፣
መቆየት እንዳለበት፣
ምን ያህል ተጨማሪ ሰዓት?
ግን ድንገት፣
ኳኳ የሚል ድምጽ ሰምቶ፣
በሩን ከፈተ ወደዚያ አምርቶ፡፡
ግን እንደገና አየ ሌላ እንግዳ፣
የፈለገች ለመዝለቅ ከጓዳ፣
አረጋዊት የጎበጠች፣
ቲውቢት የደረበች፣
ትንሽ ጭራሮ ከጀርባዋ የሸከፈች፣
እናም እረፍት የማድረጊያ ቦታ ጠየቀች፡፡
ለታላቁ እንግዳ በቀር፣
ሌላ ስፍራ አልነበር!
ጥያቄዋ የመማፀን ድምፀት፣
ነበር የተጫነበት፣
ኮናርድ ‘ቤት ለእንግዳ’ ብሏት፣
ሻይ አፍልቶላት
ከጠረጴዛው እንድታርፍ ጋብዟት፣
እነሆ ጠጪ አላት፡፡
ግን እሷን እንደሸኘ አዘነ፣
ሰዓቱ እያለፈ ስለሆነ!
ደሞም ጌታን ሲጠብቀው ስለቀረ፣
መልክቱን በደንብ ማድመጡን ተጠራጠረ!
ሀዘን ገብቶት ሲያቅማማ፣
ሌላ ድምፅ ሰማ!
“እባክህ እርዳኝ
የት ነው ያለሁት?”
ዳግም የደግነት በሩን ሲከፍት፣
ለሶስተኛ ጊዜ አለው ክፍት!
መንገድ የጠፋት ልጅ ነበረች፣
ሳታስበው በገና ቀን
ከቤተሰቧ ተለይታ የሄደች!
የኮናርድ ልብን ሀዘን ገባው፣
ቢሆንም ልጅቷን ማፅናናት እንዳለበት ተሰማው!
“ግቢ ልጄ” ብሏት እንባዋን አበሰላት፣
እንዳትረበሽ አረጋጋት፣
ቤቷም ድረስ ሸኛት!
ተመልሶ ሲገባ፣
ወደ ክፍሉ ሞገስ አልባ
“በቃ አለቀ ደቀቀ
ቀኑም ተጠናቀቀ!” ብሎ ተሳቀቀ፡፡
ያም ሆኖ
ስሜቱ እንደቀዘቀዘ፣
መፀለይ ያዘ!
“ጌታ ለምን ዘገየህ፣
ቤቴ እንዳትመጣ ምን ያዘህ?”
እያለ ቅሬታ ሲያሰማ
እንግዳ ድምፅ ሰማ
‘ጭንቅላትህን ወደ ላይ አንሳ፣
እኔ እንደው ቃሌን አረሳ!
በደጅህ በምድራኳ፣
በጥላዬ ተጠግቼ በርህን ላንኳኳ፣
ሶስቴ ጎብኝቼሀለሁ ዛሬእንኳ!
እኔ ለማኙ ነበርኩ፣
የቀረብኩህ ብትቶ እንደደረብኩ!
ደሞም ከድካሟ የታደግካት፣ ባልቴት፣
በመጠለያ አልባው ውርጫማው መንገድ፣
ለሆንካትም ልጅ ዘመድ’
(በሔለን ስቲነር ራይስ)
I have translated most of Her poems when I get a sponsor I will have it published in soft copy or print on demand books.
Mateuš Conrad Mar 2019
matt
did you get my reply? i hope you did, i had written approx. 5, and all of them deleted... i hope i allowed myself a justifiable response with this one:

how about solipsism? solipsism is an elevated term for autism, isn't it? me? personally? i love cats, but they have a tendency to become inexhaustive economists of curiosity... i wasn't implying autism as an insult, i was implying a more crude word, synonymous with solipsism, and there is no shame in that to begin with. i like cats, because i own two, and i'm most content, when i can allow myself the time, to allow them the same time, to be left alone. cat, solo... dog + man + tail waggling + throw a ball... i better post this reply before i allow this reply, to become deleted... with all the prior 5 that have been, and me, having to post the alternative, "revision".

i.e. i rather imagine autism to be in need of having an elevated status of being designated by the term: solipsism... how can i make myself elaborate? point being, i don't want to... i too am confined to a strict vocab. fixation for the purpose of expressing language, that mitigates, bypassing, shrapnel wording of: one category fits all, conjunction words, which, i find, I, to be akin to, when categorised as: AND to begin to confine oneself to, the subsequent rigor of nouns.

i hope this doesn't end, or begin as, an apology... by autistic i was imply solipsist, i wasn't implying the retrograde slur of ******... if there's any god, it's in the disinhibited self of the autist, readily plucked, by... no basis for either a selfish, or a selfless act... i'm over-wording this, but... point being... i needed to settle myself in a posit, above the current cultural norm of the troll... which has nothing to do with autism, or as i like to call it: solipsism, diminished to a slur of: automaton...

i hope you can make lite reading of this... i concede, i attempted to make more than necessary, and conciliatory scribbles... if in any way i redeemed myself, i hope you'll concede to entertaining, accepting my apology.

Jules  22h
My only issue was that your poem seemed to make Autism synonymous with stupid or any other derogatory term. However, seeing as that wasn’t how you meant it, I apologize. I’m a bit defensive as my brother has autism

Mateuš Conrad  22h
that's perfectly understandable, given the circumstances, i am hardly surprised... i'm still here if you want to continue past the initial shock-tactic of testing the waters with me, obviously we can change the subject and not stand, metaphorically: with knives pressed against each others' throats... there i was, thinking i'd reply diving into the subject matter for no, necessary clarification / added depth... but it's the least i can appreciate from your cordial response, as to, at least, appreciate a change in the subject matter, so that, both of us, can return to feeding off a sentiment of: being left, less, uncomfortable; which implies that i have to instigate the question to change the subject matter... hmm... speed-dating-esque trivia... movies, paintings, music... literature... ah... kind of blue, miles davis, my english teacher told me, that if anyone in the classroom didn't own this album by the age they were 30... there was something wrong with them... in my then paranoia, i bought the album, and now own it on vinyl... somehow... i find that there's something more wrong with me, owning it, than not owning it.

Jules  22h
Favorite movie- Mamma Mia, favorite painting- amazing piece by a local artist, music- currently obsessed with the Beatles, favorite book- We all fall down. I’m thoroughly impressed about how reasonable you are being given the circumstances, and after reading a few more of your poems, I can tell you are a good person

Mateuš Conrad  21h
oh come on... mamma mia?! and not something akin to west side story?! who's the local artist? i only access to a London base, and, that requires a networking schedule i'm not going to equip myself with; and i'm hardly surprised by how understanding you are of me, and i do wish to pay more compliments to you, but... i feel that that would overstate me taking liberty in me not incurring an over-simplified stance of my own liberty towards you... remember, i'm one person in writing against a blank, and another person to conjure forth a reply... against a canvas, that is a readied flesh of my own flesh, bone of my own bone, i can see the antagonist in the compounded state of, the sacrosanct state of lingo... i can be a ******* against a blank canvas, but, obviously, when i am to begin with a clarity of an addressee, i cannot consider staging a variation of something, inhospitable, as a Kandinsky-variation to suit myself... Jules, you can never become something akin i treat a blank sparring estate i perform in writing without, something you are already established with, concerns equivalent to my own predisposition being unchanllenged / or, rather, undistrubed. the beatles... i'm trying to find something of a vinyl collector's "beginner's luck"... i'm too into prog. rock music... EP album experiences, akin to: king crimson's debut: in the court of the crimson king... serves me right, for not getting into Mahler... or Eric Dolphy jazz... so i turned the blind eye, and moved toward pagan music... wardruna... hedningarna... in extremo... garmarna... faun... heilung... esp. the last... i have never wished to visit the Faroe Islands more, than, after listening to their music.

Jules  21h
Mammia Mia is my favorite almost solely because of the memories attached to it. You certainly are a unique person

Mateuš Conrad  21h
i agree, i'm a sucker for super trouper and money money money, i'm waiting for a Tina Turner musical, to be honest... don't worry, i've looked into some of your comment sections... i cannot alleviate the blatantly bogus comments that are worth nothing more than an immediacy to make antagonism... i can't, i wish i could, but.... it's either this variant of an outlet, or a punching bag... i'm as unique as you find me to be... but when i just see "demands to conform" to an otherwise unnatural behavior... i don't like behaving in a counter-cordial fashion... you understand me? if there's no need to be bogus, why begin to bother being so? i hope we can remain lodged into partial nuances... and continue this discussion, beside tomorrow, i.e. whenever you feel like to preserve it, which, i hope... you will strip away more of your anonymity... but even if that is to not be the case: i thank you for the compliments... but from having inspected the immediate comments... you are a most tender artifact worth double the inspection's curiosity with a shy eye... and until i take myself to rest, and slumber, i can only leave your with these words... i wish the world was more welcoming than i allow you to believe it to be. if you can ever forgive me, i can only hope you can, by bidding me a goodnight, and welcoming me back into the discussion, within the confines of a tomorrow.

Jules  20h
Goodnight, my hopefully future friend. Poetry is definitely one of the best outlets. I definitely understand that aspect of you

Mateuš Conrad  20h
i hope to entertain you here, once more, and all the future that can be shared between the both of us. let me see you tomorrow, and scrap a beginning of a conversation with you, once more toward a focus of a beginning... and see how many minutes this allows us to entertain an amnesia of: beginning with today... how about that? i'll take to sleep, and hope, to grin... i actually re-read what i wrote: and figured... if i was being all-too despotic in securing pedantry... but then... if you took to complimenting me, i have to compliment you: tender soul... scouting the merger of sight and the hybrid coast... tender petal... why not? who is to obstruct me telling you this? lever... beside the said and into what's thought... tender petal... what a Scouser would call pet, i'd call petal... or... heavily implied: stagnant Bismarck stipend... if it be too much to ask... write me more than under the scrutiny of below the already given minus, of the 10 sentences. come at me as a punching bag... just as an experiment... i want to be the new vanguard... experiment with being uninhibited.

Jules  19h
Even the way you talk is extremely poetic. I appreciate how you took the time to try to talk everything out to prevent us from having any bad blood between, and I see know that you didn’t mean any harm from what you said. Thank you for being so kind about it all. I sincerely hope we can pick up this conversation again tomorrow as I feel we are on the road to a promising friendship. I’d be happy to write more per text, but for the sake of experimentation, I’m intrigued to see if you could try to talk in a little less of a formal dialect

Mateuš Conrad  1h
trying to bypass a formal dialect will be hard, as we're too fresh into our patchwork of setting boundaries, rigid as that might sound, and the current climate, to me, you're a slab of marble, not a statue. this sort of friendship, you're talking about, requires us to keep a modest concern for language, which, awfully, is riddled with diatribe excerpts... how we will transcend this, is, well, concerned with both of us to decide... i'm starting to entertain the fact that you have an autistic brother, since i'm learning to be panicy-picky with my language... i too had an ultra-autistic "friend" back in high-school... and i would constantly retrieve a blank-state response from him, i.e. i was looking at less a person, and more: a labyrinth. how i'll transition into a more informal use of language, i'm unsure how that will take place, Jules, we can't exactly share experiences, we can only avast ourselves, on what will pursue its own noumenon characteristics of stated language. at present, we only share a commonality of language, i'm bewildered by stating something informal... i wish i could, but i'm only allowed an "aggrieved" presence to your wish for: informality, slang, holding-hands type of escapism. i think that, with regards to your wishes, we'll have to settle for a sediments' worth of unravelling, like me, you're too trying to escape the puddle's worth of being immediately "concerned" with the comment section... we'll need to find commonality... from yesterday, i can tell you: i had the beatles faze when i was leaving the years attributed to my teens... then i found it really hard to find new music, outside the realm of bands akin to tool, the neo-progressive rock bands... but i see your point, my language is the sort of formal, that stages a lack of intimacy, but this is an ontological-high-jump, given your reply, and emphasis on friendship... you will have to curate me, moving forward, since i will be unable to moderate how, me, interacting with you, will be adequate to have finally said, something informal, by your standards of scrutiny. time, i will first have to see some of your idioms to change my dialect; i'll begin, i'll tell you where this was written from, Romford, Essex, England.

Jules  1h
If we are to move forward as friends, I have to express my feeling on the autism topic. First off, Autism is a spectrum that ranges from high functioning to low functioning. 30% of people with autism are in fact of average or higher intelligence. Some of the most famous scientists including Albert Einstein were in fact autistic. It is not synonymous with simple or stupid in any way, shape, or form. I dislike that you said your friend seemed to be less of a person because he had autism. However, I understand that you’re misconceptions weren’t meant in a malicious way

Mateuš Conrad  51s
so how can i move forward to establish a less informal dialect? i wasn't focusing on the details of the stated condition, i know that i'm handling something as fragile as an egg in terms of what words i employ, and that i might seem astoudning, in having not contra opinions on the matter beneath the impersonal "facade"... but you were asking about how to make our interaction more uninhibited, if we're going to lecture each other about infringing on delicate matters... i wasn't implying the person in question was less of a person, i was implying he was more of a person, by resembling a labyrinth, i didn't take any personhood from him, i simply reattached it to a metaphor, of elevated complexity, of a labyrinth: i was lost in attaining a mutual comprehension of a shared experience with him... what's so bad about that? i only mentioned something in passing, since your's, was the original "concern"... you asked me how we could continue in a less informal manner... this reply will not answer your original "concerns"... what if i were to say: i'm schizophrenic? what then? you'd lecture me on... all of your knowledge on the matter? if we're all going to interrogate each other... thus... then you have a misconception of schizophrenics... akin to john nash... personally, i don't understand how you'd think i'd be primarily focused on something said: intended to be relegated to: in passing... guess what... i'll send this and...

      BLOCK

               i'm basically rummaging
through porcelain...
  i was ****** off one writing
platform for no reason...
   being ****** off from another
is not on my wish list,
from a very, simple,
lack of reciprocated
       feed of understanding;

   oh i know when i see minor *******,
some liking it to micro-aggression...
i chose a fox as my totem,
learning from a 2015 "debacle":
it looks innocent at first,
    but then spirals out of control;
the more i sieve through
this construct known as humanity,
the more i chose to remain
hidden.
   - and for all the worth
of the tabloid press...
   this is where i'll reign, myself
included.
preservationman Feb 2020
Robert Conrad best known role in the TV series called, “WILD WILD WEST”
He was a Secret Service Agent
He would often be confronted with villain attacks
But Robert Conrad wasn’t one to step back
However, he had so many stunts, it’s even hard to keep track
Heaven said, Robert Conrad, your time is now
He didn’t step aside
But Lord I will abide
Obedience on every accord
Robert Conrad being a true achiever in stunts ability
He would often do his own stunts
Robert Conrad showed the TV fans just who the performer portrayed in Jim West was about
It was what the West in what came out
The Sunset came quick
The Wild Wild West Star is what will stick
The sunrise will continue to shine
But the name Robert Conrad is what the world will keep in mine
Heaven being Robert Conrad’s outlook
Everlasting fulfilled
Rest in peace in God’s will.