They say it makes the heart grow fonder'
It does indeed, i say,
For when you're not around for me,
It's hard to get through the day.

I wonder who you're talking to,
I feel so envious,
They get to hear your sweet voice dear,
Those people on your bus.

I ponder how i'll carry on,
Without your loving arms,
And yearn so very achingly,
To have your wonderous charms.

I miss you darling, every day,
But you fail to understand,
How delicate this abscence has left me,
My life is in your hands.

ABSENCE, hear thou my protestation
    Against thy strength,
    Distance, and length;
Do what thou canst for alteration:
  For hearts of truest mettle         
  Absence doth join, and Time doth settle*


While she sits in her chair
vaguely following the conversation
she also drifts away in time and inclination
to care for the important things we discuss
in many ways she is beyond those cares
her decision has been made
and we but sound and fury
isee she is now more complete
and composed than of recent days
for her there is hope in the path she takes

i cannot begrudge her the choice she has made
as she said her age and medical disposition
means she is already walking that road.

but as daughters do I peer forward even now
and feel the lack of her grace in daily events
Even today as we make plans, her abscence
whilst still being here is a vast gap of darkness
that we all avoid with plattitudes and brightness

In our private hearts we do rail against the
happenstance injustice that befalls the matriarch
we struggle with the alteration to the long march home
we come together to watch as we fall apart in small
and large measures...

In our minds we pledge the best,
in our hearts we pray for speed
We know she has forever etched
herself into our bones and being
but we quietly sorrow at her growing
absence...apart from her memories
and leavingd


 *His mind hath found
    Affection’s ground
Beyond time, place, and all mortality.         
  To hearts that cannot vary
  Absence is present.

The cloak of darkness washes out the color,
So the browns and greens and grays can blend together,
Dull the gleam and vibrancy,
Shapes are now all that remain,
Silhouettes of the features of this forest.
A fractured perception of life,
A pretense believed I'd rather be withheld,
For despite lacking a central palette,
Perfection still lies in wait of the next light,
The next rise of the Chariot of Apollo.

This body once active is now motionless
As pale as a ghost, your soul is no longer the host
Your eyes are closed, and your all dressed and posed.

If in one moment I could convey to you
An eternity of my love's affirmation,
if I could plant everblooming flowers
in the places you have lied, fields of wildflowers
formed in the shape of your prone body.

Though far and wide lovers may stray
across the vast horizon running,
trying to catch the day;
our hearts are carrier pigeons
always flying back home to roost with each other.

Why run, I say, saunter,
glide like an eagle,
though you fear you may stumble.
I will send my kiss waltzing to you,
So my lips might dance and twirl with yours.

Venus glowing in the night sky
is still there, though unseen during the day.
So too my love remains
in the depth of night it is a golden sun,
in the glare of day it is a silver moon.

From burning dreams, and nightmares,
flames frozen in the clock face of the mind,
Outside your head is the warmth I carry,
through your open eyes
I project this warmth, as my body in abscence.

When we lie together, let us not speak,
I will listen only to your breathing.
All words will dry up, and we will communicate
only with our bodies. Our minds will bend
towards the singular goal, of pleasing each other.

The silence of a gun never ment the cease of a war
Silence of words never ment the tongue was at war
Dining with the demons that had U good

Mistaken your silence for absence
Your retreat for your cowardness
Over reaction for your madness
Retract and the soul was lost amidst other lost souls
You're angry and i mistook it for weakness.

That tremble on your lips was worth the put down of your mouth
But the flow in your eyes told tales that your tongue failed to set forth.

A flow of pain crossing down the beautiful valley and mountain of ur cheeks
It felt solely silent as the minds flew..

It felt solely as absence grew
Memories that never was
That you never knew
Showed your back on my facet
Never to retrace the lost step
Back to the unpleading heart.

Silence............abscence of sound,
abscence of meaning.
Why is there no response to questions asked?
Why is love dammed up like a great river
held back from flowing freely?
Tamed to the point of numbing ennui.
No rush of waters, crash of waves against rocks,
no quiet eddies straying to the frothing currents.
Only slow monotonous treading of a relationship,
left to dwindle into dying embers of a once
warm and inviting glow between two lovers.
Gone astray, grown away,  to separate lives.
Caring enough to maintain, not enough to transcend.
Living in parallel worlds, never intertwining.
Absence of sound, meaning, feeling.
Unable to bear life without meaning, joy, anger, and love.
Pondering the mechanisms, catalysts, for change.

I bend my head
the bend of a ******
I lift my eyes and gravel the world
with my schztophrenic eyes
I touch your lips
with the fingers of a ******
then walk by you like a geisha
Im am my own schizophrenia

I palpitate in your breathe
I move in smile
I love in torture
and you are so beautiful to me

brake bonds between thy and your cresent lips
that are edged with the words of the sun
and the laughter it brings to the children
of our days
the youth of our minds
the subtle grandfathers and grandmothers in our
pre pubescent hearts


do you lag when you walk
up to the temple of my gestures
the columns are thick and victorian
a high ceiling
and a low waisted mistress
living in the water under your footsteps
drenched in white
consumed in a black hue
she is the abscence of light
do you understand
yes and proceed foward


I allow you with so much of me
to come into me
and I condem you with little
chase you with haste
and depart on my fruitfull alliances
with that and poverty of dependence
I mutually give my self to the wrectched
creatures of the dark
I print my name with my nails
into my own sarcaphogus
built by the highest of your kind



your bodies eat away at my mental felsh




might I explain
be so selfish to put words into a matter
that was done in complete selflessness
yet I am to be crowned the empress exigency


I stare in the mirror so pretty
so graceful
yes
I am the empress of
exigency

maybe we met and I , I forgot.

I am unashamedly Ashley. At least that's what "hellopoetry" calls me. Tumblr calls me "vesperoflove", but if you really knew me you'd drop off the glitz and just call me "Ash".

And here we are sitting on the subway and something about you makes me want to open up. Maybe it's the way you smile or the wrinkles you get when you are trying not to. But I look into your eyes and you hold my gaze, and I like that. You aren't staring at me like I am worthless piece of trash nor have you look at me like I am a piece of ***, you are just looking into my eyes. I am flattered by the attention, I might stumble over words, and your interest might even cause me to blush. You ask to sit by me and I wave you in, and that's where this new chapter begins.

"Hi." I say working up the nerve to meet your gaze,and I blush, I am the abscence of your color and I stare down at my legs and as you rearrange yours to accommodate the length of your logs extensions of your long trunk, I note the contrast in appreciation.

And I get distracted by this, but you are asking me questions about my life and I try and dredge up silver lining in monotony of years.

    What have I done exciting?
    What do I hope to accomplish?
    Where do I see myself in the next five years?
    What do I want?
And that is only the tip of the Iceberg you have thrown in my lap.

Coming off as an host of a talk radio show, I ponder these illuminating thoughts.

And your probably not the first person to ask me these things, but right now its like I have never been truly asked.

I don't know why I haven't asked these things of myself.

But cargo doesn't ask or question. And maybe that's how I have been living my life.

Merely reacting to things that have happened in the past and in the present.

I would like to blame it on my poverty mindset. On the way I grew up. But then when does my accountability start.When do I get to make choices for me, and be held responsible.

At the age 18 when I can rent ****, buy stick de cancer?

What age do we become our own person, driven by our own desires?

But you aren't worried of the questions I haven't begun to ask and I like that.
I lean in closer hoping to gauge you reaction in your eyes.
I am known and you see me not as I am but what I could be and all the things I have yet to achieve do not mar your rose color glasses.

I find joy in the kindness of strangers and reprieve.

The yellow of the sunrise,
Shines through your window, dear,
And lights up all your body,
I move to hold you near.

We stroke eachother gently,
I smell your sun bleached hair,
Your fingers trace my collarbones,
We catch eachothers stare.

Intensity comes flooding back,
As last nights love is recalled,
Your mouth claims every inch of me,
I'm once again enthralled.

You make me feel so innocent,
When we are making love,
I learn from you and follow you,
We fit just like a glove.

I watch the clock and pray to god,
That you will claim me soon,
I ache for you in such a way,
Our love reflects the moon,

For though some cannot see our love,
Its there as we both know,
But abscence and the sky at night,
Makes my heart swell and flow.