between incontinence and constipation

Irritable bowel syndrome i.e.
the former excretory bout I address
the above (polite way to phrase diarrhea)
and avoid moon efficient cheekiness,
yours truly doth buttress,
a literal warranted pain in ***,
diametrically up poses,
and disinvites loving caress,
nevertheless yours truly
experienced gastrointestinal distress

countless times experienced ****** duress,
when anticipatory anxiety triggered excess
indomitable heavenly gorgeous fortress
mandating visits to the porcelain goddess
else.. heavily soiled underwear
necessitating by George thoroughly good
scouring utilizing heavy duty gloves
nsync accessing generations
old washboard and handpress.

Nowadays more often than not,
I suffer incapacity to whoop
and holler at healthy excretory
system (of the down), but troop
hunkered over (think
Hunchback of Notre Dame)
at ground zero smack dab dagnabbit,
where birds of prey swoop

doubled over in agonizing pain
believe me you, this fickle fella
experiences excruciating difficulty to ****
mein life passes before third eye blind
and joie de vivre to exclaim L'Chaim
takes kamikaze nosedive and ability
to savor existence significantly doth droop.

Nevertheless alleviation when at long last affright
dying upon commode,
when colorectal **** orifice obstruction airtight
cursing posterior dire straits regarding
(you bet your bottom dollar)
occasions behind stricken with blight
worse fate than losing cocked cat fight
malfunctioning ****** scenario analogous

loosing life versus death dogfight
plummeting at warp speed
within psychedelic atmospheric Earthlight
recognizing demise (mine)
on par jeopardizing ability,
cuz jammed alimentary canal
disallows lightening payload Humpty dump
(Thoreau Lee walled din)
and doomed as endangered bumblebee's flight
and snuffed out as quaint sputtering gaslight
era when commercial gas became available in

early 19th century in Europe and America...
see - https://www.thespruce.com/
the-gaslight-era-2175011
to glean at least one more highlight
though gaining such spruced insight
contributes no more or less than jacklight
neither rhyme nor reason why
wily prevaricating good knight
informs ye to understand might

of Matthew Scott Harris this night
(April 27, 2020) no longer fraught
regarding his sorely overtaxed sphincter
he heromin vouchsafed and wooly vowed
to accept unconditional surrender
of body dysmorphia (mine) plight
resolved swallowing bleach
(a purgative he trumpets)
to eternally lived in peace quite.

Time and again liquified human waste
i.e. loose stools (mine)
flushing bowels unchased
down toilet shunted off to treatment plant
thick sludge consistency of (crust) toothpaste
repurposed for commercial
and individual use posthaste,

especially every resident of
Lake Woebegone Poker Flat outcaste,
who as token scapegoats
(no kidding) suffer tsoris
bullies unrelenting lambaste
harbor loathing, albeit strong distaste
towards those persons deemed
undeserving comprise untouchable caste.

**** lies zing constipation
     nothing to poo poo about,
cuz when bedeviled by
     colorectal obstruction
     without wasted doubt,
that malodorous,
     malevolent malady
     analogous to uranus

     clogged with grout,
whereat no heroic
     efforts break loose,
     the severely obstructed bowel,
thus spurring determined,
     desperate derriere plea
     for proctologist sought
     to relieve constipation

     equipped with a special
     "J" shaped, hooked,
     and designed dowel
in an effort
     to pry stoppage
     jamming up human cloaca,
     where rock solid stubborn
     immovable **** emits foul

gaseous emanations accompanied
     with *** a nine growl
followed by red hot,
     fiery excruciating spasms
     shooting jagged pain
     inducing yours truly to access,
     the werewolf within howl,
where a preference for sciatica,

     would be pleasant reprieve
along heinie kin cheeky jowl,
     thence finding me
     resorting to peeve
hush scream therapy,
     which wrought nothing,
     no pain did re: leave
me bummed out ***,

     but veins snapping,
     popping, and crackling,
     oye how aye did grieve
plus a bajillion
     gallons of perspiration,
     while lower gastrointestinal
     agonizing torture didst cleave

entire abdominal
     area please believe
without aforementioned crisis,
     and feeble poem,
     I could not achieve.