You have no idea
Absolutely no idea
About the amount of work
That goes into closing a position
Especially if it is an Investment Banking role
Scouring portal after portal
In order to hunt down the right candidates
Making call after call
And subsequently facing rejection after rejection
However, as we all know
"There is always light at the end of the tunnel"
So, you somehow find a way
Yo snag some decent candidates
Who may not be "perfect"
But fit the role well, nevertheless
When the closure ultimately happens
You heave a huge sigh of relief
Knowing that your hard work has paid off
However, there is a twist in the tale
The candidate receives another offer
Which turns out to be more lucrative
Than the one provided by your client
And he gladly takes it
Therefore, you are back to square one
Of course, backouts are common nowadays
So, you work harder than ever
Determined to turn things around
And your efforts are duly rewarded
However, just when you are sure
That nothing can go wrong this time
The candidate develops cold feet
And chooses to stay in his present company instead
Boom! Just like that
Your hard work has gone down the drain, yet again
But you refuse to give up
Believing that it will turn out to be a case of "third time lucky"
However, as always, you are wrong
This time, the candidate is genuinely interested
But the client is too stingy
Thus pushing the candidate towards taking up a better offer
And you are left in the lurch, as ever
The only difference being
That this time, there will be no comeback

Recruitment is an utterly thankless job
Especially if you are handling an Investment Banking role
That too when working in a startup
You spend hours and hours
Searching frantically for candidates
Who possess the requisite skills and experience
Followed by days and days
Speaking to a plethora of candidates
Facing rejection after rejection
Watching your own confidence nosedive
After almost every conversation
And then gritting your teeth and continuing to burn the midnight oil
After you finally manage to share a few relevant resumes
By the skin of your teeth
You breathe a sigh of relief
Knowing that your job is half done
Everything runs smoothly from thereon
Till the offer stage
When the candidate decides to back out
Having received a better offer elsewhere
And you are back to square one
However, you resume the search
With a renewed vigour
And put your heart and soul
Into finding a suitable replacement
Your efforts are duly rewarded
However, misfortune strikes again
The candidate develops cold feet
And gets retained by his present company
You have to go back to the drawing board, yet again
However, you refuse to give up
And work harder than ever
Determined to be third time lucky
Alas! Fate turns its back on you, yet again
The client proves to be a tad too miserly
Thus pushing your candidate away
However, you continue to resist bravely
Against all odds
Determined to prove a point
More to yourself, than anyone else
However, history repeats itself
For the fourth time in a row
And you are left bruised and battered
In the face of a year full of bad luck
Which has brought you a record seven backouts
And all you can do now
Is to pray, and keep praying
For 2022 to end as soon as possible
Recruitment, is indeed an utterly thankless job

After hours and hours
Days and days
Weeks and weeks
And months and months
Of sheer hard work
You would have hoped
To achieve at least one closure
In a year
That has been disappointing at best
And abysmal at worst
With backouts becoming as common
As India beating Pakistan in a Cricket World Cup
However, Lady Luck disappoints you
For the third time in a row
As the sheer miserliness of your client
Pushes your candidate away
And it is ultimately you
Who ends up being the loser
But that's not the worst part
The worst part is
Having to start all over again
With a rather limited pool of candidates
Still, it is not in your nature to give up
Especially after having come this far
So, you make a concerted effort
To find fresh candidates
And after a lot of searching
Followed by a lot of calling
You finally land a good candidate
But the client rejects him in a flash
Undeterred, you continue searching
However, the already limited pool of candidates
Starts shrinking rapidly
And just when you're about to lose hope
You manage to find a decent profile
However, the client rejects this as well
Quicker than the speed of light
And with every rejection
Your confidence dips
Slowly but surely
Until you can stand it no longer
And scream at the top of your voice
"Investment Banking Hiring Is Not For Me!"

Ten-thirty AM in the campground,
Mourning Doves coo their sad sound,
People air their damp sleeping bags
Children swarm on electric scooters.
(In my day, it was roller skates)
Then, the diesels rumble to life.
Wives with cell phones direct the backouts,
Don’t run over the scooters!
Speed limit: five miles per hour,
(When are we going to go metric?)
Yet the earth trembles
As they pass by, single file.
Above, old white men look down
From their Plexiglas canopies,
The last one towing a smart car.
(To save gas, I presume)
The rumble moves down the county road,
The electric scooters swarm again,
And the Mourning Doves resume their laments