Not having anyone to fix or save or be distracted by is turning me into one vulnerable and terrified human being.
2. I’m surrounded by love everyday and it makes me realize that having romantic love with someone is not the be-all and end-all of life.
3. Sleeping alone does not make me a failure.
4. There is a huge difference between being alone and being lonely.
5. A solid friend and a hearty laugh is better than any one night stand or three month fling.
6. I am still terrified of being abandoned and do not want to add on to the list of potential abandoners at the moment.
7. What even is love?
8. I tend to attract addicts, of all kinds, and by staying away from them I sometimes wonder if I will ever meet someone who will want to love me for who I am and not the false sense of security and comfort I can so easily bring them.
9. I tend to be attracted to addicts, of all kinds, and by staying away from them I am learning how to make myself feel secure and comforted.
10. Manipulation can be contagious. I don’t want to go there again.
11. Trust is something I look back on fondly but is no longer something I have inside my heart to give to the next person who decides to love me. I’m working on it. I think this one will take a long time still.
12. Finding and keeping a consistent friend is making me want to find and keep myself.
13. I am exhausted.
14. Commitment makes me cringe.
15. Marriage is a lovely thought but would be a pointless reality.
16. I have a lot of healing to do.
17. Finding pleasure in life does not have anything to do with another person’s body.
18. *** is not a joke and should not be treated as such.
19. Neither should your body.
20. Forgiveness is a foreign land I have always dreamed of visiting.
21. It is entirely possible to be young and not reckless.
22. We are not invincible.
23. It’s time to slow down.
24. No amount of coffee, crying, sleep, wine, or romance will cure me of the unrelenting emptiness.
25. Nobody taught me that choosing to be alone is actually wise.
26. I am changing.