My bones hurt me over and over again
My veins ache and bend and break
with them and my skin just doesn't
protect my heart or my head anymore
The instructions firing in my skull
are moving me in all the wrong directions
These messy thoughts have got me twisted
and wandering in the middle of the night
My wiring is all misconstructed,
malfunctioning,
severed & frayed
Just cut the chord
Sell my insides like strips of metal
Maybe they'll work just fine,
under the control of a braver mind

I listened to your heart beat for two hours. You lifted me and moved me closer

And the butterflies, they followed

But this feeling cannot last. Like a glass jar, teetering at the edge of your mahogany coffee table. The hardwood floor taunting it as it shakes violently back and forth. We are gasping deeply now, trying desperately not to fall. Not to break.

I can feel you holding on with all that's left in you. You're turning my hands black and blue with one last desperate grip but you can't keep your fingers folded over mine forever. It'll be over soon.

For as far as this goes
Just know
that
I wanted you
With every inch of skin
That holds my bones
I really wanted you
And I tried
As hard as a backward thinker
ever could
But all these late nights
and salty tears
Will get the best of me
The horror of this is shifting closer
Shadows in the darkness
The light cast from your eyes
can't save us this time
Oh but please
Don't run
Let it wash over the sheets we lie under
I want to be together when it hits
I love you
I'm sorry

Hold your breath
And let it go