i really want to believe that it was
legitimately used at some point to
solve conflicts between opposing armies
that would justify so many of my own emotional reactions

TWELVE. THAT'S THE NUMBER OF CHESTS I'VE GONE THROUGH - TRYING TO FILL YOUR SHOES OR AT LEAST COVER THE FOOTPRINTS YOU LEFT ON MY HEART BUT NONE OF THEM ARE LIGHTNING OR EVEN MATCHSTICKS NO MATTER HOW MUCH TEQUILA I POUR DOWN MY THROAT. I CALL YOU  THE ONE THAT GOT AWAY  BUT THE TRUTH IS YOU WERE GONE LONG BEFORE YOU LEFT AND NOW YOU'RE BACK BUT NOT HERE TO STAY. AND YOU'RE NOT THE SAME AND I KNOW YOU NEVER WILL BE BUT YOU DO THIS TO ME EVERY SINGLE ******* TIME. AND NOW YOUR EYES ARE GOING TO HAUNT ME WHEN I'M ASLEEP AND YOUR VOICE IS GOING TO HAUNT ME WHEN I'M AWAKE AND I'M GOING TO SIT AROUND AND COMPARE THEM TO THE NORTHERN LIGHTS AND NATURAL DISASTERS LIKE I HAVEN'T BEEN DOING JUST THAT FOR THE LAST NINETEEN MONTHS. NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES I NAVIGATE THE BERMUDA TRIANGLE IT DOESN'T GET ANY EASIER AND THE WORST PART IS YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.

no residue of the future
don’t know what to say
the contours of words
bear enough ambiguity
mama and papa have moved
their battle inside
my anemia

a reversible memory, you
you’re not a battlefield
with poppies
the blues had just hit the road
to the city
while you were busy to be born
in the quietness of fields

this desire today
with silver teeth
shouted at me in the street:
“you belong to him”

it’s something
to have learned
how to deconstruct
the power of love
it’s a different matter
by your side
in the depths of whispers
in the cage of time

you’re not a dehydrated dream
of my unshed skin
I so elegantly raging
keep up with this desire

my life needs a soul
not to play cards
past present future
heavy in my arms
undiscernable

I am a sentimental girl &
I am afraid of you
of the darkness of sleep
of the blue annihilation
of truth

let me tremble a bit
let me taste some light today
I am round enough

I am round enough.

as i search to you
for answers, i find them
unfortunately, it's not what I want to hear

i'd love to claim the name
of somebody a little less to blame
but it seems i'm scarred and mamed
for i attempted to tame a lion
that doesn't play the same game
it really is my own fault
for believing the flaws i saw
could be brought to a stop
dropped and rolled in salt
oh god, when you come across
the padlock to the box that contains
my demise i pray you give it a nod
and a wave as if to say you'll save it
for another day
and allow me to apologize
for trying to play...well, you

drunk on each other's turpentine
from your wet kisses
       your wet body wedged between
        my wet body and the kitchen counter
        the sky's rim breaching through windows
you'll find my love between the soul and shadow
the equinox of days and night,

i love you and your secrets buried in the unbloomed flower
        keeping its petals to itself
the fragrance of rain and the aroma of earth
        i will wander amongst these fields, open
        i watched you grow
i will not love you a certain way, as i do not know how
        i will only love so close that with your hands on my
        *******, they become close like hands
   i will only love so close that your eyes will see what
        i dream of when i sleep
i will only love, because i only can love

intertwine
like the the aliens from avatar
or two dwarf stars
in a telescope from afar
or two violently colliding cars
of which both drivers lost all control

The miles between us
are like sewing needles
each with a thread
the exact color of sadness.
  ~mce