Losing you taught me that life
Isn't a "one or the other" kind of thing

I gained more love and joy than I could ever have imagined when you left
My whole world shifted in your absence
To a place of peace, wonder, and joyful curiosity

But that doesn't mean that your absence isn't felt
Because even in all this beauty my heart still misses you
Even though I am doing things I never could have with you
A part of me still wishes I was waking up next to you

And it's taken me a long time but I think that this is what life looks like
Moving on isn't getting to a place of completely "being over" you
I think I'll always feel sad when I think about you
And there will always be emptiness in places you filled
But that doesn't mean that joy can't coexist with missing you

I can rest in thankfulness for all that my life is becoming
And still shed a silent tear that you no longer wish to be a part of it

When I said yes to getting dinner with them
I never thought you'd get brought up in conversation  
And when you did
The most bizarre thing happened
My friends knew more about your life than I did

And less than a year ago,
I could never conceive of a world where that would ever happen

I've heard a lot about heart break being at 3am, insomniac nights filled with silently sobbing into pillows and when sleep finally comes, it is only greeted with stabs of loneliness when the cold realization floods in that you are waking up alone.

But they forget to mention that it happens walking down the middle of the sidewalk at 2pm when you're supposed to meet a friend for coffee and you see a face that's a distorted version of his because your heart is so desperate for him that it starts to try to find him in strangers.

They don't tell you that it happens six months later when you're starting to feel good again and you accidentally hear that he's dating someone new and it sends you spiraling down into the crushing weight that he doesn't love you anymore and suddenly you're not eating again and the man who works at the liquor store makes a comment about your drinking habits.

No one talks about it happening when you start falling in love with someone else and you're sorting through your computer and stumble across the album of pictures of him that you haven't looked at since the breakup a year ago and you think you're strong enough to see his face and you realize how desperately you loved him but it still wasn't enough for him to stay.

People fail to say that it happens at your best moments when you are so full of life and love and joy that all that can radiate from your smile is the strength that conquered demons and you see all the beauty that is around you and you remember the person that you always wanted to share this moment with has decided he wants nothing to do with you anymore.

There is no forgetting you
But there is letting you go

Truth is I have no idea how you are
I've come up with a million versions in my head
I guess I could call you and ask
I mean I used to call you all the time

But we don't talk anymore
And what if you're doing really well?
What will I do then?
If losing me didn't wreck your world
The same way you leaving wrecked mine

I do not ask that you understand my choices
You need not support them
Or agree with them

But please
Do not look so hurt
When I made it clear my dreams
And you refused to get out of the way