And in a weird way
I owe you a thank you
Because in all the misery you caused
I found myself

I listed
Out loud
All the things I loved about you

And in return
All I got was your silence

I guess at the end of the day
What I really wanted
Was to be enough for someone
For a person to look at me and think
"Her? I couldn't live without her. If not for her; none of it would mean anything"

I guess I just wanted someone to love me
The way that I had loved them

No
It wasn't a boy
Or the envy of others
Or even the experience of success over failure

It was me
Alone
Next to the ocean
Completely undone
And stripped dry to the bones
That's where I discovered
Peace truly exists

Everyone watched her
Unable to take their eyes off the view
And the terrifying thing about her
Was that she knew
*And she didn't care

You make me lose my words
No one has ever done that before

I could pretend we never happened
I could lie and tell myself
You never really cared
But honestly,
What's the point in that?
Because You did love me
And now you don't
And even though that's a terrifying thought
It's the truth
Your love was necessary in my life for a time
And it no longer is
There was a time where you lifted all my burdens
And then there was a time that you became the heaviest one
I am better for being loved by you
And I am better for loving you even when you never deserved it
Your presence was once freeing
And now your absence is
I found myself in you
And above all,
I still love myself without you