My life is a silly collection of misplaced tragedies

Loves that's should've been but didn't
Men I couldn't want but did
Loves that did but not enough to stay

You stand too close
And I can barely breathe
As your fingers secretly tickle the small of my back
I try to act as if you have no power at all
Praying that you don't feel the goose bumps arising from your touch
But things are complicated
And I'm not supposed to want you

But oh
How desperately I crave you

I saw you
And I just knew

*I was in for one hell of a ride

You left me
To become one of them
But the irony is
They're all desperately searching
To find what you and I had

I fell apart at the idea of losing you
And then I lost you
Turns out,

I'm doing just fine

And so now you become a ghost
I will carry the scars you left behind
Other men will try to kiss them away
But you left permanent marks on my heart
You will be the answer
When I explain my hesitancy to trust
My unwillingness to open up
My tendency to run away from love
The man you used to be
The boy you are now
The person you will become
I will never be able to escape
The ghost that you left behind

I'm wrestling with never wanting to be touched again
And the desire to be in love again