I'm drowning in an ocean,
One that use to be blue and smooth,
It's now getting dark and choppy,
And I have everything to lose.

The ocean is consuming me,
Leaving scars on my heart,
I'm being pulled deeper every minuet,
I'd get out now if I were smart.

If I swim I can make it back,
I can still see the light,
But this ocean feels like home,
Everything still feels right.

There's a chance this storm will pass,
And everything will be fine,
But if it doesn't pass soon,
I'll be swept up on the shore line.

Do I stay where I feel at home,
Take a risk and stay in case there's something I can find,
Or heed the warning,
And leave this ocean behind?

I'll always miss you,
You were the first guy I loved,
You have changed my life.

You promised that you loved me,
You promised that we'd never part,
But look at me now,
Crying in bed with a broken heart.

I loved you more then anything,
I opened up to you,
More than I did anyone else,
And I let you know what I was going through.

We would talk all night,
And our love for each other we would exclaim,
But now all we talk about,
Is who's to blame.

But I guess that meant nothing to you,
Because you still ripped my heart out,
Thinking of you won't do me any good,
Because it'll just make me shout.

My heart hurts more than you'll ever know,
For your love for me was never true,
So I guess all that's left to do,
Is to get over you.

Nobody knows the real me,
The girl who starves herself everyday,
The girl who cries herself to sleep,
The girl who thinks she does everything the wrong way.

The girl who thinks she’s ugly,
No matter how many people say she’s not,
The girl who’s always depressed,
And hating non stop.

Nobody knows I’m anorexic,
Nobody knows I’m suicidal,
Everyone looks up to me,
And tells me I’m their idol.

For those of you who think I’m perfect,
You haven't taken the time to get to know the real me,
But I guarantee if you did,
You wouldn’t like what you see.

Forty five is the worst number ever,
It's how many days it took for me to realize we wouldn't be together.

Number one is the second worst for it only makes my heart ache,
Because with one more day, one more hour, one more minuet I could have proven to you that this was all a big mistake.

I keep telling myself "it'll all be okay",
But inside I know it really won't because my world didn't use to look gray.

I guess I should have known that you didn't really love me,
But for some reason or another I thought "together forever" was a guarantee.

So as I lay in my bed writing these words I hope you understand,
That this life is just to painful to continue without you in my hands.

And as I say goodbye to this world and hello to a new one,
I'm not the least bit afraid because I just want my life to be done.