Stormy weather is God's way of saying we could have done better
Or tried harder
The sound of breathing is just the rhythm
Undoing all the potential I used to have
I hide under my covers hoping that my fears
Are as afraid of the dark as I am
My smile is just the curve of the lies I tell myself
“Everything is going to be okay, one day.”
I might be sleeping two hours a day
And that’s a long time
To be with someone you don’t like and doesn’t like you back
Or maybe it’s because I’m scared of what my self-concise might tell me
In my dreams
The alarm clock that illuminates my room reminds me
I’m not on time for being myself.
I missed being who I wanted to be
A few years ago
And I haven’t caught up
It reminds me of how far I have to go and how little time I have left
Sometimes I have to let a tear fall, to remind myself
I’m alive
Every day I memorize my name
So it wouldn’t sound weird as I talk to myself in the mirror
I want my name to sound like something I can be proud of
We are our own heroes and until we realize our strength
We’ll bend at the knee to heed the directions of people
who know us less than we know ourselves
It seems impossible because when I cry I have to no idea why
When I laugh I don’t understand that
I’m the joke
Like a clown without makeup
Like the girl sitting in the back of class: self-conscious about her bad hair day
I love the mess because it’s how I really feel and at least
She’s brave enough to embrace it and face it.
I simply hide behind my shower curtain of indulgence and cowardice
Unfortunately, I’m not very fast and my problems are catching up
I’m throwing up my hands in shackles
Limiting my ability to wipe my tears
After 23 years I understand we’re all kids in adult clothing
Trying to fill our baggy pants with our own pride and big egos
We have neck ties of lies we tell others to fell a little bigger
Stripped down to loose shorts we con show the tattoos of humility
We weren’t ready to show
And unable to let go
Make it through the night and look outside
The sunrise is simply God’s interpretation of what our dreams may have looked like
He does it because we can’t remember the details

Love like the sun
Loves the earth
Ever since they met
They dance every day

The sun makes the earth
Look on the brighter side
The earth gives the sun
A reason to wake up

Love like the earth
Loves the sun
Because the earth isn’t distracted
By the stars and the moon

~

I need to stand
at the edge of a river
imagining all my

       fears

            and

                anxieties

are passing by.


I would take a step back
  
         and     s
                       i
                         t




Silently

I would let them all

       drift

                g
                  e
                  ­  n
                       t
                         l
                           y

noticing each one

letting
           it
             go

and just observe the distance.

Already they seem
  
   smaller


I can enjoy the

     'here and now'

sitting by the river

      and appreciate a taste
      
             of

                  inner peace

                             ~

I lost my little girl today.
I held her in my arms and felt
her slipping away.

As the end came sneaking in
I gave her up to medicine.
And, in my selfish way,
I prayed for even one more day.

Hurry fill the forms in and
hurry up to wait.
Knowing in the heart of me
that already I'm too late.

Then they come and take her
from my loving arms.
To poke, to **** and draw blood.
And again I wait as
they try to resuscitate.

My prayer was not heard today.
My little girl died
when her heart gave way.

Just a dog so many say.
Yet in my eyes
my child died today.

Now there's an empty
space inside that no
thing can fill. . .
except the warm memories
of my loving little girl.