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SJ Nov 2015
You are my sin

The reason I will never transcend

Never achieve my dreams

Stuck with my weakness and your schemes

Always was ***** whenever you were near

How could I be clean with you here?

Tainted me long ago

Your touch is all I know

Crave what you can give

It's as though your the reason I live

The man who is nice and wants me

I cannot tell him that your all I see

Always comes back to you once I fall

Im never able to have it all

Seep into my concious when I think everything is going fine

Reminding me bitterly that my heart isn't mine

You had a hold of me then, still won't let me be

My lost lover will always be my most fatal tragedy
SJ Nov 2015
I had a dream where you didn't leave

Held you close, tight, right next to me

Your eyes did shine and my heart wasn't sore

Looking at me with love like you did before

Told me you'd be here till the end of time

Kissing you close not recognizing a lie

Go
Just go
Fade away like this dream
Nothing is ever what it seems
We will never be

When I wake reality is harsh to a dreamer

Dose of cold air delivered by a schemer

Showed me the side of him that made me fall

Left me with the side of him he never showed at all

Though he's gone, he stays

Showing up in my dreams day after day

Go
Just go
Fade away from my mind
If only I could turn back time
Then you'd be mine

I need you gone, need you to leave

For once I just beg for peace

Stop smiling at me at night

Just stop making my heart want something that isn't right

It's unhealthy to ache for something that can't be fixed

Tired of missing someone that shouldn't be missed

So go
Please go
Fade away from my heart
I can't take this constant reminder that we are apart
I need a new start
SJ Nov 2015
There was a time I held it in

Sinking to the bottom of the dark abyss

Where ones thoughts take over rationality

Madness becomes your mentality

Never did I speak my mind

Not once did I complain when I was left behind

Then he came along and took me in

At the time I didn't recognize him as the Devils kin

Eventually his true self came to be shown

By that time I was too invested in the man that I had known

Sitting there day after day in silent agony

Eventually sanity turns into brutality

Sadness turns to anger and judgement is clouded

Blinded from what you once believed your sanity becomes shrouded

Bruises did cover my skin

Torturing myself by holding it in

Why couldn't I say what was on my mind

It's not like I was alone or didn't have time

I'm sure your thinking it was because I was afraid

You'd be wrong. My silence was all about self hate

Sure I hated him. But mostly I hated me

And as time went on I grew to hate everybody

Be a good girl put everything in its place

I'd smile and put on my false happy face

Then there came a night

Quiet and peaceful the stars were shinning bright

He came looking for me

Interrupting my first moment of peace

It was like time stood still when he raised his voice

Realization hit me that I have a choice

Something in me snapped when he raised his fist

My vision became clouded by a red mist

Taking the punishment I stayed silent like I'd been doing all my life

But this time when night fell I slipped into bed holding a knife

I couldn't bring myself to stop the deadly plunge even when the blood started to flow

For Blood is like sugar when revenge runs the show

Dripping from my fingertips on to the bed it left a mark of finality that put my madness at ease

My smile was genuine as I dialed the number to phone the police

What is your emergency the operator asked me

I replied I have killed the devil and now I am free

I was brought in with chains and put in the pen

When asked why I did this I would answer I held on the pain in

Now as I sit quietly on my cot in the joint

I smile as I recall my breaking point
SJ Nov 2015
Doing as I please
Taking with ease
Feeling no remorse
Spewing venom with force
Pain is my game
Selfish is my fame
Taking over Generosity
Witness my Atrocity
Power hungry as ever
Call me cruel, but I say clever
Never satisfied in any way
Always have the final say
Bow down to me
Never will they be free
Born to take over, to lead
Generosity is dead, all hail Greed
SJ Nov 2015
There is a man I see in my dreams

This man who's kiss fills me with need

I wake up so hot and covered in sweat

Aching for a man I've never met

His touch sets me on fire

Feels me with passion and desire

I know this man, though I have not seen with my eyes

I know his touch, his kiss, and I know he is mine

His body fits, molds with mine like a glove

During my dream he shows me the secrets of love

The things we do makes me blush, but I'm not embarrassed

He is strong yet his touch is a gentle caress

Who are you? I need to know now

I need to find my lover I just don't know how

So next time you come to me whisper your name

I will find you so we can ease our pain
SJ Nov 2015
War
Raise the weapons high

Smoke fill the sky

Prepare to be consumed by my wrath

Welcome to my bloodbath

Men resume your battle stance

Tonight many will fall in this bitter dance

Peace doesn't exist as I fire the first shot

Fighting for a cause that many forgot

I feed off their greed

It is a substance that I need

Rage makes me stronger

I have lived for many years, now I live longer

Humans are weak, easy to manipulate

They stand no chance against Fate
SJ Nov 2015
Ashes smolder quietly on the ground

Death often has no sound

Flames spread so very quick

No time to respond to the Devils trick

Angels cry at innocence loss

Into heaven victims cross

Blame is put on the survivor

Denial is claimed; the people call lier

Punishment for living so it seems

Shot rings out that follows screams

Once a survivor; survivor no more

Judge reads verdict like it's a chore

Not guilty they found

Innocence is nothing if their in the ground

Devil smiles in his lair

Flames still rise up through the air

Evil strikes upon this town

Don't rise up instead they bow down

Why give into the Devils game

Its us who feeds the flame

— The End —