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235 · Aug 2014
flames
Sarah Aug 2014
i've always written about
pieces of you
but there's nothing left to
hold anymore

have you washed away
with the ink?
have you faded between these
same old lines?

i'll burn all these
words
to the ground

just for this little
flame of yours
burning in my palm
september, won't you bring me some rain again?
233 · Oct 2014
smoke I
Sarah Oct 2014
august
you hand me your heart
wrapped in crumpled brown paper
and clumsy string tied
around the forever you've
stamped across your palms
over and over until
red ink smudges the tiny, careful

in the corner

but you have forgotten
and i have forgotten
that my fingers are only flame
and my words are just smoke
that fills the void between us
until i can't breathe
and you can't hear me scream

yet i'm holding brown paper anyway
and the string tangled around our hands
is burning slowly
in time to your heartbeat screaming and thrashing
in my fist
and i wish my fingers were smoke
and my words were flame instead

does it hurt to burn
or to inhale
?
youre not gonna wait forever
233 · Mar 2015
sunshine
Sarah Mar 2015
i. i wear my anger the way you
   wish i'd kiss you;
   red hot with a little
   teeth but not too much
   smoke because unlike me, you
   want to breathe

ii. i have tried to pour flowers
    lilies and carnations down
    my bloodstream but little
    droplets of dawn keep falling in
    like roses with flames for petals
    and oh god, you know i can't
    resist these thorns
    and neither can you

iii. i am always spitting the sunrise
     back in your face when all you have ever
     given me is sunshine through windows
     that never seem to crack against my
     inferno fists and colors that paint me
     beautiful in every shade except
     this red you know i'll always
     breathe

iv. i know i sleep with palms
      tight and heavy at my side when
      when the glass of your heart
      is cracking like kaleidoscope
      dawn and dusk and everything in
      between
      but you still
      piece my mirror shards together
      again and again until the sky is as clear
      as morning dew

v. as if your skin doesn't burn at
    my touch, as if my wretched anger
    is something you love
    as if holding the wrath of the sun in
    your arms is all the warmth
    you've ever wanted

vi. one day
     i will see that maybe
     you like your sunshine closer than
     i do, at your fingertips,
     no windows in between;
     if you wanted a flower to hold, i know
     my fingers are not soft enough
     and i smell like ashes instead of heaven
     and gratitude and apologies taste the same
     when it comes to girls who'd rather burn
     in your mouth than make you feel warm
     inside
     and god, i know you believe that i am
     the sunlight streaming through
     lonely spaces between fingers that
     try so hard to hold me together
     when this rage is all i'll ever be -

vii. i wish i could say
     i love you
     *too
cause were just under the upper hand
231 · Dec 2015
faith
Sarah Dec 2015
he never trusted the universe. he didn't believe in the things he couldn't see - the words that fell out of our hands like histories written long before all of this; tug of war and how heartstrings were tangled for us; just old thread and new heartbeats

and he planted faith in me, quiet little hope blooming in the light of dawn cracking across the horizon i couldn't share. i wanted to keep these little things, this destiny. on the nights i wasn't breaking, i was praying. i wanted to share my fate (or is it faith?) with you.

you speak of forever like it's something we create, i tell you there are forces beyond just me and you. you look at me like i am the happiness waiting ahead of you and you are so afraid because there is nothing in our hands, you say there is nothing to hold onto. i say there is us and there is god

or i would have said so if you hadn't let me go
and if the stars burn out the sky
230 · Jul 2015
untitled
Sarah Jul 2015
is it so wrong to want someone to keep my pockets are empty of love and i was thinking about how your fingers would have fit but you are a far away that never drifts just a little closer i'm so tired of being the one with glassy eyes and shaking hands and no i'll let the darkness hold me tonight don't worry you never notice anyway i think i am going away you are not who i want to stay for anymore
hold me down
228 · Nov 2015
winter
Sarah Nov 2015
i wear the loneliness like an
old sweater now,
telling myself that winters are
always this cold
with or without
you to hold
take me anywhere but here
228 · Feb 2015
light
Sarah Feb 2015
maybe I'm spilling rain all over the wrong kind of parchment god I just can't breathe in any way my heart pumps empty and numb down to my toes and sleep takes me somewhere so far away god I wish I had stayed because without my eyes closed these colors scream too loud in my ears because black is just an intoxication of the silent and the dying don't tell me to stay for you I look in mirrors like you look through car windows cracks are just raindrops that break you apart why couldn't I burn for a little longer fire is salvation you won't recognise but please god I'll make matchsticks out of my fingers just send me some
i lock the door turn all the water on
227 · Aug 2015
untitled
Sarah Aug 2015
there is not much to breathe tonight
not much to say
except that ***** hands and
rotting souls
building a hell of their very own

always
always
get what they deserve
all we do is drive
224 · Mar 2016
I care
Sarah Mar 2016
you told me you cared about me

take these pretty words, please
beautiful in poetry, art stains on napkins
left behind on trains when the night ends, whispers
to ceilings in the dark but to me,

this is terror down my spine run run
run i don't want to hear the rest of it

how you'll be there when i can't
breathe PLEASE it's happening already
the fear in every joint screaming escape
when you open your arms wide
how i can tell you everything that keeps me
awake as if my mouth is a faucet
confessional already dripping all over me
as if just you can trust me can
save me
instead of breaking me
as if you've never known how easy
it is to feel safe in a lie
and we're burning all the bridges now
218 · Feb 2015
stars
Sarah Feb 2015
i. the sun is tearing the night apart
   and you know and he knows
   that you'd rather cling onto the
   the stars in your palm, shyly
   twinkling like the words he is only
   brave enough to whisper when you
   are half awake

ii. no stars in his eyes,
    no galaxies in yours -
    this is only fireplace friendship
    to keep each other warm

iii. this is what you tell yourself
     every morning you wake
     up in his arms

iv. you won't ever lose those stars
     you clutch like diamonds and prayer beads
     or raindrops of crystal gold
     they burn your fingers sometimes
     so you treasure them in your shivering bones
     until they collapse in on your soul
     as if darkness has a weight -
     misery is the only color that can't escape,
     you fill your veins with stardust debris
     and white and white and white
     to compensate an emptiness that
     has no name until you watch
     yourself fall apart like dying embers
     of fires of the heart

v. did you forget?
    these ashes of you,
    all black too

vi. he tells you, no, he
     forces you to rid this habit
     of dropping black holes at your own feet
     he aches to see you asleep on the streets
     when there is always home right where
     he breathes
     but you like it better underneath
     the moon, the stars in your worn-out
     pockets are a little brighter in the dark,
     a little lighter to hold when your fingers
     forget to suffocate and tremble
     the way they have grown used to

vii. the stars are even brighter

viii. when he holds them

ix. with you

x. will it hurt so much if you
    drop one

    only for his
    hand?
do you know my face like the back of your hand
211 · Sep 2014
words
Sarah Sep 2014
sometimes my fingers bleed empty
onto lined paper
only to be lost in these words i
fear are caught in my throat
like
a metaphor i can't dig into hard enough
for it to materialize into ink and meaning and
poetry

i don't understand

isn't it dark enough?
i'll never ever leave
210 · Jan 2016
Untitled
Sarah Jan 2016
i think my heart is broken
is it working right
i feel so light, i can't feel
i can't write
down
207 · Dec 2015
soon
Sarah Dec 2015
you'll come home one day
wondering how your little first love has
been, wondering how the years have slipped past our hands
and I'll be a thousand more miles away,
waking up to clear skies and falling
asleep to thoughts of how there are blessings
in every word God has said
in every promise I have kept
and I will be alive.

we were a collision of stardust
of soul debris and shy hands afraid to let go
fate is momentum we cannot resist
we are hearts apart now and we will be
years apart the next time you think of me
I'm not waiting, old lover
you are a little habit melody in my head
I'm sorry, I'm forgetting all the words
aren't we lucky?
it's too late for hearts to break
we were young
199 · Jun 2014
red
Sarah Jun 2014
red
You can rip me open,
Cut me into pieces,
Until all I am is the liquid
life,
the red
you say I share with you

I am nothing like
you.
mommy dearest.
198 · Dec 2015
Untitled
Sarah Dec 2015
it's not raining so much
i dreamt of you and i am awake
and i am whole
i traded my art for a little breath in my lungs
i can't write anymore
but i can breathe just fine
**** this is awful oh my god
174 · Jun 2014
Untitled
Sarah Jun 2014
why does falling in love
always
feel
like
falling
off
a
*******
*building
Am I really that wonderful?
172 · Apr 2015
to keep
Sarah Apr 2015
are you tired of
being the pretty little jar
i keep next to my bed
the one i reach for when
i wish i could trade the coins
under my pillow for a few
more stars to keep by
my side

i'm sorry
i can't read love notes in the dark

how can i forget
how could i ever believe
that  was a thing to
hold and you were a thing to
keep
would you save me a spark
158 · Oct 2014
whole
Sarah Oct 2014
how to piece
    yourself whole?
      the black hole between your aching ribs
       is caged in your own delusions
        it doesn't hurt

of course it doesn't ******* hurt


it's only your heart, after all
wishing is a game of fools
why can't i ******* write anymore

— The End —