from 'twice a day' to 'take as needed' /and my hands start to shake/ I am not ready for this responsibility/ the only other option/ is to admit there is a sharp thing/ deep inside of me that I do not know/ how to throw away/ the poet on stage/ who is a full decade younger than me/ says he is too old to still be taking about blood/ about scars/ about the sharp thing inside of him that will not die/ not knowing how to say/something inside of me is breaking/ I think of the pills/deep in my bag/ the new safety blanket/ I think of wine/ how many glasses I need to drink/ before I stop recognizing my handwriting/ I think of his bad excuses/ how he didn’t want to be another target for my sad/ didn’t want to get any blood on his collar/ and trail me into his home/ all this responsibility/ that he is not ready for/ like a boy who mows down a fawn/ without the decency/ of hauling the body to the side of the road/who just keeps driving/ whistling into his wide open future