I hadn't left the bed for days
psychotic,
but I knew something that most didn't.

it meant something
it was rich.

like all the songs
they don't play on the radio anymore.
like all the writers
they don't read anymore.

me and her
me and her, we've got the same problem.
but they don't listen to us anymore.

I've got it bad, I've got it bad
and the *** cascades over me like
a waterfall in hell.

we're not meant for this world,
not meant for these things they subject us to.
and we can't relate,
at least I can't.
I've got nothin'.

it's a nothin'ness that gets stronger with the hours.

it grows stronger as I grow weaker.

---

I slept and I woke up
and I drank and I slept.
and I woke up a week later
feeling more like myself.

Fingers interlaced,
Lips chained together,
Bodies bound
In a tangle of limbs.
Back from the future,
Face to face with the past,
Present tense exists and lasts.
You stop all the clocks with your stare,
I look into your eyes, and see eternity there.
I know that this need will never end,
We can see around the bend.
The time I spend with you is
Timeless.

the moment you realize
your alone
your in this fight alone
no one is there for you
no one loves you
you have to sweat and work
make it to the top
there will be tears
there will be scars
this is my life
surrounded but completly alone
this is how it will be till the day i die
this is when i prove to myself i am **strong

your love is a lie, a lie
your love is a beautiful lie
you smile with your eyes, your eyes
your smile brings light to our eyes

nothing but a promise whispered
made in the night, forgotten by morning
is my grief to you so sweet, my dear
that you left me quietly to weep ?

your love was my light, my light
your love filled my very soul
your heart is guided by your eyes, your eyes

why then, do your wanderings surprise ?


your love was my light, my light
your love filled my very soul

But now the hour grows late, my dear,
and I can not wait for you more.

i tell myself someday i'll start living
not just breathing and moving
and using fake ****** expressions
i don't wanna make waves as a freshmen
'cause i know one you throw the stone
you don't control the ripple
and the waves can reach many shores
so i'm afraid to become attached
and afraid to say how i feel
i'm not comfortable with myself
hell, i'm barely comfortable with people
if it weren't for my three really good friends
Camille, Elizabeth, and Lexi
would i still smile
no
would i start living
no

living, to me, is doing what you love
every **** day
and loving people
and being happy
all the time
and listening to music that makes you dance
going outside
being able to sit with people and not wanting to leave, or feeling like your being judged
not judging yourself
loving yourself
making beautiful art, but no one gets it except you
and when someone does understand it, you fight for them, because you know it's meant to be
and if they slip through you  hands, you move on
no regrets
no broken promises
you go after each dream
every **** one

and one day, you'll die
but you won't say "i wish i did this..."
you'll smile and say
"i'm glad i did this..."

i think it's the saddest thing in the world that some people aren't living
in a sense, they are already dead
they are just atoms moving through the air
until the air stops coming
and the atoms cease to move
they die
never knowing
life