That is a tree
And this is war.

Is this all you will register as?
A change from 2132 to 2133 on my views.

I hope not.

Take everything as it is, child
I will not be here forever
Sad as this notion
Kisses your forehead, let it
Whisper words of hope

And welcome them in
And welcome them in

For even among these darkened days
There is a glow about you
That must not fade

Preserve your innocent ideals
Retain your thoughts
And know they amount to
Far more than you
Might have imagined

When put to practice, child
Your ideas and your light
Can burn the world
In a fire that warms, soothes
Holds, and comforts
All who question the nature
Of human love

We are merely shadows of
Who we might have been
Darkened puzzle pieces
Floating downward
Inside a cool glass of river water

Seek out others
Connect and share
Each one of us has something for the other to gain
Each one of us has in his or her possession
A glance, a word, a whisper that can
Change the life of another

Do not hide.

Time is precious as is
We would do good to not waste it
And stop your clocks now
Heartbeats will suffice

Amidst the lies, the pain, the turmoil
That most harbor
Let your light
Your love
Your inspiration
Flourish, rejuvenate, and make whole

My sickened heart


But I am not alone.

There are others who have endured far worse than I
Who have succumbed to their addictions
Who have lacked the support and love I found
Where I would have least expected it, and
They need you more than I

Go to them
And make right
What only you can.

What is it about the forest
That is so appealing?
It is the knowledge that
Sitting there
You are surrounded by
Living beings

And open your mouth
The air rushes out
In harmony

Reverberations resonating
On the same wavelength
As the friends who surround you

Deliberate individuals
Understanding more
Speaking less

But speak they do
And it is in your best interests
To listen.

Remember how I said I wanted to...
Well, I didn't actually say it
But I did think it!
Anyhow, tonight is just a night
But the walls are gone
And we stare into the darkness beyond our candlelight
Wondering what might emerge

Because I want to
But I'm going to break all the rules
And ask you
Before I do.

Nights like that one
Remind me
I'm no one special

I may sweat over song lyrics
Analyze chord progressions
And spend more time with my notebook
Than the average person will

But at the end of the day
I'm just like any other teenage guy
Trying to work up sufficient courage
To kiss the girl he likes goodnight

If love is the answer,
Tell me the question
Tell me your question
And I'll give you my answer

I don't know what to say
Except that things are changing
All too well

We are not the people who once cried over ridges in our skin
We are not the same fools
I am not the person who karate chopped the head off the snowman
I am not he who is long gone

Too many flies buzzing in my head
Can't get myself to bed
Am I better off dreaming?
Am I better off dead?
Cease your breathing
And rise

Rise up to the forbidden
Reveal what you have hidden
And find what you have within
That lovely soul of yours

CRASH
              BAM
                       CRUNCH
                                         BOOM
                                                      SPLAT.­
My heart spasms on the table
Beside the silver and behind the fish
Serving up not a stew but
An invitation
A solemn mockery of it all
Why shouldn't you
         Do me a favor and
         Toss it out with the evening trash
Awaken me the next morning?

We don't tolerate trouble here.

History may repeat itself
But tonight is a stake in the ground of time
Rooted in the day
Never to grow old

"We will never have tonight again"
Leave no thoughts unvoiced
Say whatever you are thinking
No regrets

After all, open forums are tough to come by
And here exists one
For a short while
So speak your mind

Invite all the elephants
Into the room
Indulge
"We will never have tonight again"

Find the words
You thought were impossible
But the world needs them
But I need them
But you need them

And there will be no more perfect timing
No second chances
There is only tonight
And the weight that needs not
Rest upon your shoulders

Twist ties are for pretzels
Not killers of dialogue

Unless, of course
You dream of
Stalking wire pieces

Can't feel anything
Does this mean I'm dying?

Bottle up the joy
Bubbling inside you
And pass it along
To another who
Might find it challenging
To combat the charcoal sky
And most importantly
Tell them why

Charcoal sky
**** me up
Spit me out over an ocean
Let me drift to its bottom
Marvel at the creatures
And remain
With you, charcoal sky
Forever with you

"Sketch a picture"
He suggests
"One with birds and
Trees and soft green grass"

"Lose yourself among your creations
As they carry you from this hell-hole"
A pack of paints exchanges hands
Accompanied by a brush of dark mahogany
And nylon bristles

"Paint the most desolate places
You know"

"Bring your art to the alleys
And to the cracked walls
And to the the train tracks"

"Brighten the day of a stranger
You may never meet"

A burnished bronze coin is help up with grimy fingers
But declined with a smile
As the artist makes his way
To the wall by the stream
Where he will paint her name
In stars

Peace!
Sang the turtle
Life!
Croaked the frog
Love!
Chirped the crickets
From under their home log

And the owl raised one gloomy eye
To witness the parade
"But love is just a camouflage"
He said within the shade
"Delusions and intrusions, why
That's just no place to be"

The owl rambled on until
A cricket climbed his tree
Now this brave fellow hopped and jumped
In the great owl's face
To squeak out
"Love is everything, in every time and space"

And the owl moved his beak, annoyed, intent to have a snack
But a skip, a jump, a somersault
And the cricket's safely back
Among his friends, and as they turn
To march themselves away
They sing out to the owl
"Hope you have a grand 'ole day
And love will come your way
And love will come your way"

Stalemate.
No one can move
All other pieces are gone
Just the two kinds
Endlessly circling the board
Afraid to get close
So it is impossible

And the black flies
Laugh from overhead
Assured of a feast
In good time

As their strength dwindles
And the two kings sway
Their patterns through the squares
Toppling to span several

Even in death
At least one square between
These two
As the commentators
Swoop in to
Claim their prize

A thought bubbles up from my mind
Cooperation, people working together
To revive their poisoned planet
Tanks dismantled, bombs defused
Grand parades celebrating the end of war
Brothers of different races
Arm-in-arm
Looking toward the future
Instead of dwelling on the past

Planting great gardens
Of red and gold and blue
Flowers the size of houses
Symphonies shouting the music of souls
Touching the hearts of millions
Sunny parks, green grass, tennis *****
Food enough for all who desire it
A blend of cuisines from across the globe
Gracing every plate
Children laughing
The bubble turns dark
Pop.

Your mind is a fortress
My mind a battlefield
Your views are precise
Mine deluded

Your love is new
My love is worn
Your pages pristine
Mine wrinkled and torn
You observe the truth
And dish it right out
I fuel the fires
That only lies spout

Sure, you have your faults
But that's quite alright
I'm happy to have
You with me tonight
And as for mine, dear
There's no need to fuss
I can assure you
Of all this because

You are the air I breathe, to clear my head
You make my life worth living
And that's the truth
Please let me in.

Hustle and bustle brings
Grins frozen onto faces
Mantras pounding rhythms into
Sunken eyes
Hollow out a space for me
Within yourself
Please, I wish
To know what makes you
Tick
To put to fire
This opportunistic kindling
I stumbled upon
While on the run
From my greatest enemy

In this space
Resides Fortune
Jealousy and Fear
In the corners
Glowering miserably
Sadness stretched out
On the couch
Head inseparable from hands
Joy is tied to a post
A humiliating position
Fingers brought together with
Barbed Wire
Casting out a smile
As Anger sharpens his ax

I want to throw a bomb
Amidst it all
To end this
But decide to
Watch how the scene
Plays out

Skip a beat
It may do you some good
To stray from the all too familiar
DUBDUB
                  DUBDUB
                        ­            DUBDUB
And pursue a different rhythm
Maybe something like
XEE
        QUA
                  SINXX
We are not who we say we are
Merely reflections of what we try to
Leave behind
And to spread goodwill
Without finding it first
Is to blanket the world
With chaos
And turmoil
And love
F  O  R  G  E  T
love
it remains in the corner, utterly
P            T          S
  O     N    L    S
       I             E
And destructive.

No.
It couldn't have been me.
I was out for a walk
Reading poetry by the sign
That warns "Enter at your own Risk"
I was dreaming of dreams
Wishing for wishes
Far too preoccupied for that
Sort of thing

Why do you ask?
Is it something I said?
A casual conversation misinterpreted?
You're scaring me.

Anyhow, it couldn't have been me
I'm simply too
too
too
distracted
by you?

The mouse
Knows he can fly
(She told him so)
He straps paper wings
To his paws
And climbs the Tower
Of Mouseville
To the cheers of all his mousefriends

Standing atop the Tower
His little chest swells with pride
At the sight of the crowd
The parades, the balloons
The thousands who gathered
For him, for his flight
His dreams are becoming reality

He sniffs the wind and concludes
It smells of promise
Of adventure
Of opportunity
Drawing in every ounce of air his mouse lungs
Could hold
He bellows
"I am Mouse
And I will soar"

The crowd watches as their little mouse
Takes a flying leap from the Tower
To splatter at their feet

A hush fell over Mouseville.

Unwelcome tears
Intruding upon my relative
Calm
Never make it to the surface
But wreak
Havoc inside

Something is wrong
Something is a bit off
And I must live with it

The problem cannot be within
Its cause must reside outside
This fragile charade

Something caused a crack
Something ruptured

Life as we know it
As we live it
Is false
And serves no purpose

Even love
The fearless protector
Balks at this truth

God help us all.

What is it that we as humans lack
To make us question our existence
And seek a meaning to our lives?

The trees live and do so
Splendidly because
They do not worry about tomorrow
Or what they should be doing, and
All would benefit from such a carefree attitude

Behind the shed
Lies the single thought that
May save us all

Allow me to investigate.

From my vantage point
This vast expanse of land
Bare of any soul save myself
Separates you from me
And the sky hangs over
As if to laugh at our plight

Billowing clouds, faint smiles
This is no place for a wanderer
No place for a thief
Who steals smiles from
Beneath mother's nose
No place for a liar
Who corrupts this peaceful scene
Flinging time bombs as an afterthought
To bring an end to light

No, I'm not entirely sure who belongs
In this place
I am nothing but a visitor here
Come to drink in the beauty
The stillness
And soon to depart
From the hole
In an otherwise
Troublesome world.

Shh.
Don't tell.

Life distilled
Before my eyes
A revelation so simple
We should have missed it
If not for the spark
That hit like a downy pillow
To the face
And compelled me to turn
Around

Whispers of the mind
Too soft for others to hear
Shouting within our heads
Birth impulses that
Once we comply
Give rise to a fantastic newness
A wholeness of self, simply
Miraculous in nature

Walk with me, then
And put this theory to practice
The secrets of your self
Yet unknown to me
Carry an allure
Poised and potent
That gets me
Through the day

I'm not going to get better
It's not like that
This disease doesn't go away
There is no cure

But oh, there are symptoms
Paranoia, cynicism, and distrust
To name a few

I've heard it's my burden to bear
A toll for artistry
Which I tolerate, that is
Until the next bout sets in

Like now.

Now I am driven to madness
What a ******* up world we live in
Where nice girls turn into tweakers
Where people never change
Where we will always rather drop the bomb than talk it out
Where people hide from their feelings

That is what you're all afraid of, isn't it?
The kinds of conversation that spin out of you
Are remarkable
You'll talk of anything save the things on your mind
Fearful
Fearful of what?
Directness, no, we cannot have that here
I would much rather discuss
The grazing habits
Of a cow

I'll just get as much music and writing out there
As I can
Before I combust
And rejoin the nothing

As a certain young girl fell down the rabbit hole
So too do I grow queasy at the thought of
A change in my surroundings
Mind you
The written word and expression
Occupy quite a large space
In my daily existence
But there is much to be learned from others
And sadness follows introspection

A fall from grace is nigh impossible
Beginning on the ground floor
As we are found
Choking in the dust, we
***** for the door handle
To encounter smooth memory
And long-forgotten resolve.

This morning
I watched a bird
Ram itself into the glass
Beside my door
Infuriated at the intrusion
Of its reflection
Forever angered
Forever shaken
By the ordeal

The room
Halogen bulb
Clinging to a wire
Flickers
As if to illuminate the
Thick fog of desire
In the air
The wire
Frayed but sound
A conductor
Of forces far beyond its comprehension
A helping hand

We stare at the wall
Sturdy beyond imagination
A goliath of brick and mortar
And contemplate its destruction

I try to refrain but retch
And my thoughts splatter the paper

True conversation, simple as
The twig caught up in our river
Meandering along
Strips us of the shell they covet
Within layers of their own
Shining opaque splendor
A beautiful visage
That disturbs even the casual passerby

We are not the first ones.

Careless escapists frequent our haven
And their troubles vanish
As ours ooze from our pores
A vile sludge that falls and
Squelches between toes
Leaving us clean, relatively speaking

Upon our exit, we scoop up some of the stuff
And fit it back inside
Determined, the impure
Resolved, the imperfect
To sink further
Into the madness

"Maybe not tomorrow
but someday"
She tells me
"the flowers will wilt
the light will dim
the roads will diverge"

And I wonder
How will it be
When I no longer recognize you
And you no longer see me
Will I feel the knife
Slowly as it inches into my heart
Or feign indifference and burn all traces
Of you

A valuable question, certainly
And one to consider
But no answers come to mind
At least none I can bring myself to
Singe this page with

The consensus is
Nothing matters

but love does.

Roses bloomed just below her eyes
The battle with the wind raged on
And as the Earth turned a tired gaze
It was left speechless by the energy
Contained in this slight figure

In her mind, she lives atop a great cliff
Threatening clouds of maroon on the horizon
And she gathers herself up
And she gathers herself up
To stand amidst it all

The roses flashing crimson
Signal to the world a soul who
Will not yield to adversity

But great rains fall and a massive wave
Crashes upon her
Her feet are swept out from underneath
And water closes in

The Earth holds its breath
Unbelieving, unwilling to accept what it has witnessed
Yet she surfaces atop a mountain
And she gathers herself up
And she gathers herself up
And she gathers herself up
To smile.

A small thin streak
Barely distinguishable from the stinging sweat
That accompanies dedication

I suppose the current circumstances
Touched you in some way
So as to let this pioneer free himself
And blaze a trail down your cheek
Glistening in the morning light

I wish I knew what it was that
Stimulated you to shed some of your
Burden, which even now weighs
Heavily upon your shoulders
Shrouds your world in a
Melancholy gray

Do me a favor.
Call back your adventurer
If he should not answer, so
Fascinated as he is by the soft landscape
Introduce your mountain of a
Smile and block his path
For good.

Perhaps my thoughts took an ill form
When they climbed from my throat
But they should be forgiven
It was an arduous journey

As a matter of fact, there is one
Who can't wait to meet you
He wants to be yours
But he finds himself stuck
Beneath hordes of others

His name is Love, and
I'm sure you'll like him
When he can dig himself
Out.

It's so quiet out here
Pitter patter of snow drops
On my eyelashes

This cold is different
Purging my qualms with
Stillness.

If it were heat I might fall
Sapped of my strength
Overwhelmed by warmth

But as is
I embrace the chill
Ease back
And for a sweet, long moment
I am lost
Among the white
On the roof.

What do I deserve?

My answer fluctuates between love and death
you see

Curiosity didn't exactly **** the cat
It just left it crippled in the road
For someone else to run over

Is this so wrong, this self destruction.
All you need is love
To bring you down and demolish
Every ounce of self-worth, but
Is this so wrong.

The luster that comes and goes
Sustains not myself
For lack of sustenance will be the end of me
And love, the fickle jester
Taunts and flaunts her invaluable charms
Just out of
forever out of reach.

They don't know
None of them do

Otherwise they wouldn't be here, right?
impossible.

They can't know
but I have to tell someone.

Help me
I'm afraid I've returned
to the place I wanted to leave far behind

But it's a part of me now
And I cannot forget

I'm heading down to the river
In the hopes that when I turn around
You will be there

Help me before I help myself.

Words etched in my memory
Set free amidst a cloud of feel-good vibe
That was the plan all along

to cast off the chains
ignore the blades
(they've kissed your skin enough)
and feel good

My psych textbook attributes any and all good feelings
To our need as people to belong to something
But we hold ourselves on too high a platter
And forget that there is more out there than ourselves
To belong is not necessarily to other people
To belong is to an idea
To belong is to a word
To belong is to your world
To belong is to the roads less traveled
To belong is to the path worn down
To belong is to the bustling city
To belong is to the smallest town
We are no different, no different at all from
The beings we look down upon and slaughter at whim

A greater purpose is needed.

Hello. How are you?
Good? Thanks.
It's raining, like the clouds that move inside my head
ARE YOU CRAZY?
Pitter patter rain drop plops on my brain
Yes.
What would you do if I was to explode?
Right now?
Yes.
I would blow up with you. We are one and the same.
Bull.
No bull.
Why should I believe you?
I can make you do THIS!
AH! Stop it!
Believe me now?
Sure.
Can I ask you a question?
Alright.
Why are you so down on yourself?
Good question.
Bad answer.
Fair enough. I don't know.
Got issues?
Everyone does.
Sad.
Agreed.

To turn back the clock
Seems like it might fix everything
which is, of course, misleading

Fixing one thing crushes another
Perhaps the other is more important
Perhaps not
but who is willing to take that kind of a chance?

I would.

I turned around the other day
In the hopes that the view might change
from where I stand

But the tree still lay at my feet
Its branches twisted
Its leaves tattered

A proud vessel for good
demolished
by my own hands

And why did I do it?

honestly,
I hoped you would turn to look.

I ask for too much help
Not help in the traditional sense
As in
I don't have a knack for falling down wells
Or impaling my hand on a fork

But I do tend to impose on people
And then they shy away

I am the man who lies through his teeth.

So I saw this ******* the side of the road today
And she looked at me and asked if I could fix her car (life)
And I said I can't (I can) but I don't want to.

I am the man who doesn't care.

And in the distance the smoke rose from all these fires
That sprung up from our embers
Our wishes

I am the man who doesn't make sense.

I am the man who is opaque.

I am the man who is gone.

I can't risk it
I won't let myself
Put myself through all that **** again
I won't.

What?

You don't believe me?

...

It's how I look at you, isn't it.
The hope.

I didn't think it would show so plainly on my face.
Never wanted it to.

I suppose now that is has you expect me to explain myself
I refuse.

well, maybe just a little.

I parallel myself to the man who drowns on a boat in a freshwater lake
Surrounded by love
And somehow distanced from it.

I have grown to slap the hand that reaches for the water
And that hand has learned to remain
hidden.

I am a lost soul who speaks in metaphors because the truth would hurt you
and God knows I don't want that
Playing with words, toying with a melody
It keeps me sane.

So if a glance slipped out from within
I apologize

It won't happen again.

You're warm
A welcome change in temperature
from my surroundings

Not to say they're cold
Just not as warm nor as
comfortable
As I find you to be

It's more of a preference, really

So anyways...

I can see the light
That is, transportation
The ability to drive myself places
(to go visit you)

Maybe we could go get some conversation?

I hear it's delicious.

Only for two though
Which is funny
but warm.

Like you are