What's up with love anyway?
It tends to leave you hanging
With only a passing glimpse
A promise
An empty promise

Come back?

Please?

Expectations are a funny thing
You expect things of yourself, which is beneficial
Goals you'd like to achieve, a future you work to write

it's the expectations of others that bring to the table a problem.

There's a thing to be said for letting your loved ones choose their own paths
There's a little teensy thing that always gets stepped on

name's freedom, mom.

In its small voice it cries out and argues on your behalf
Too often do we set it aside
Disregard a valid point
Stifle a light

So I ask of you a simple thing
Let me live my life how I choose
Not how you'd prefer me to build myself, dad.
But the crooked, beautiful way I piece things together

on my own.

Yesterday morning, I woke up to find birds of all colors swirling around me
Yesterday afternoon, I cooked lunch for my friend Steve (he's an elephant)
Yesterday evening, I composed a symphony and entranced sixty hippos with it, lest they should be unhappy
Yesterday night, I died in the arms of my enemies

Tomorrow, I will be born again.

Life is a flower
Blooming in the darkest corners
Stretching for the light

Pedals of purple, white, yellow
Accented by a forest green stem

So too should we be
As flowers

Should a pedal wilt and die
Let it fall and
Grow another.

I do not dream as of late
It is most peculiar.

You see, I used to dream
Quite often, in fact.
But those I cannot remember

The fanciful wishes of a lighter man
I wish I were still a dreamer.

My phone lights up and goes dark.
An "X" with your name beside
A missed call.

I return.
You pick up.

Flash:

It's the eighth grade again.
It's 4 am.
I muffle my voice so my parents won't hear us talk
I refuse to hang up until I hear a click from your side
To preserve what I can, savor the moment

Return:

Tonight, we talk.
We discuss what went down on your side of the world this week
And remember old jokes
(your cat is only fatter)

Tonight, you're tired.
You and I both should go to sleep.
We sign off, say our good nights

And I am the first to hang up.
As I was that July, three long years ago.

*People change.

The song is stifled
The day is done
The night lingers
The cocoa cools
The bird falls from the sky
The apple turns brown with age
The child begins to cry
The very image of rage
The failure shouts
The ghost in your periphery

*All will fade to nothing
When I find you.

In time
Everything will become crystal clear

If you just hold on one second (******* it)
I'll listen to you

In essence
We might as well not exist, for all the harm we cause

Can't you see how much unrest you bring?

I used to know love is the answer
Now I question and scrutinize every speck

*Won't you answer me?

Questing after perfection
never for a moment thinking
(it's not even a possibility)

the now
could be everything?

Change.

I ****** up.

A long while has passed since I poured my heart into a work
The last few songs have consisted of stories, wishes, falsifications.

Substance is vital to fuel passion.

Excuse me while I search for it.

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately
About college
People I love
Careers that might interest me

Too much thinking can make your head hurt.

So I let my thoughts dissolve
dissolve is the wrong word.
I let my thoughts expand through my music
Through my pursuits, my passions

We never know where we will end up tomorrow
It could be anywhere, really

We could never see the people we are familiar with again; today could be the last day.

I hope this phrase never is demoted to cliche status; it is far too important for that sad fate.

The point I'm getting to is

Live tomorrow, today, whatever time you are in
With as much soul, as much class,
All your strength and all your love
As you will.

Leave nothing unsaid, leave no story unwritten.

Lest it be forgotten.

If only wishes came true.
I know they do sometimes become reality, but personally I consider that to be nothing more than chance
I guess what I'm after is

If my wish had substance
If I could ask for something right now
And be certain that it would be

I would wish

I had the courage to tell you what I thought of your smoking and your drinking before it led you to where you are now

Maybe I could have stopped it.

I would wish

I told you how much you meant to me, had that conversation with you before the world fell apart for you

Maybe you would still be here.

I would wish

These wishes had the power to change something.

Of all the questions that flutter through minds
Why should this one be any different from
"what is my dog eating by the sofa?"

Depth.

In posing this question, a hand is extended.
An offer is made to be included in something you may or may not have a reason to be included in, to open your mind and concern to the life and troubles of another.

To not ask this is to turn a blind eye to the signs.
to recognize and ignore
to not care.

It can mean the difference between the living and the dead
the broken and the whole
the enslaved and the free

The masters, substances of many names
Will not stop in their conquest
Will not cease their destruction
unless acted against.

Ignorance will not suffice.

Pose the question then, should the opportunity present itself.
Everyone has a story they choose not to tell

How much we miss from these withheld thoughts!

Seek them out, with noble intentions.

Welcome to life. It's not that nice of a place.

Here's your survival gear.

It's called love.

There's nothing to do about nothing.

Nothing can, but nothing won't be there for you
It isn't really that something can't be done about nothing
It's that no one cares to do it

There's a funny little saying I remind myself of every now and then
It goes something like

I can do it; I can do anything; I cannot fail.

It's never actually voiced like this, of course.
Rather, it exists primarily as a sort of mantra that pops up during a particularly hard workout or when my fingers get sore practicing a tricky run; it replaces lost strength from within.

I think it's extremely important that each of us has a mantra or mindset that we can fall back on when we need to.

If not, we fall back on nothing, and we've stated already that nothing has no reason whatsoever to help you or to break your fall

Nothing will simply dissolve and reappear elsewhere, having already forgotten your cry.

But there's nothing to do about nothing.

Yet.

It's late and I'm tired
But I can't go to sleep

There's too much to do
Too much I haven't told you
Too much I want to hear
Too much to listen to
Too little to waste

There are adventures
not yet experienced
There are voices
unheard
There are thoughts
unvoiced
There are songs
unwritten
There are kisses
unfelt

And I have adventures to experience
And I have voices to hear
And I have thoughts to voice
And I have songs to write
And I have kisses to feel

And I have you.

Oh, you.

Who are you?
I certainly haven't found you yet
Actually, I thought I had, but you went away
Now I fear I will never see you again

Oh, you.

You with your saddened eyes
You who have endured so much
You who deserve so much more
You who I try to help but
You who shy away to
You who are gone.
gone.

gone.

It does not make my thoughts any clearer
It does not make me feel any better
It does not make my eyes any drier
to write.

But it does help the sunshine keep a little longer
It does let your kisses linger in the shade
It does help my weary head resurrect
The light from whence we came

And I know that someday you will return
And I won't let you slip down down again
And my time awake is time well spent
So I cannot sleep.

I cannot sleep.

I write all the time.

There is nothing I would rather do, nothing I can see myself doing in the future, nothing that makes my fire burn like writing.

That being said, my writing has yet to reach the ears of those who would appreciate it. Pending my inevitable gain of transportation, I will embark on a euphoric journey to havens of people who revere this art to the level that I do.

Case and point: where I call home at the moment is full of phony faces. Everyone, with a few brilliant exceptions, is afraid for one reason or another to make their true feelings and selves known. It's not that these writers I seek do not exist; it's that they are hesitant to show their faces, for fear of ridicule?

Ridicule for what?

Succeeding in capturing fleeting moments, powerful emotions that others balk at? Confronting head-on the darkest parts of their own soul and being? Not being afraid of what will come out in their writing, so long as it is true?

There is no need for ridicule, of course.

Excuse me, I have become sidetracked.

Ah, yes.

The world and our community of Johns Creek will be immeasurably bettered when we come to the understanding that masks just won't cut it anymore.

The truth is what we need, and until this is what we get, there will be a number of horrible side-effects of our disguises.

War, Distrust, Confusion, Sadness, Apprehension.

In truth, they dissolve.

Whomever you referred to, Allie, thank them for me as well. You have great things ahead of, behind, and beside you. Never forget your potential or your accomplishments.

Wake up, and see the sun outside
It's four o'clock; I've got nowhere to go
Pictures in the sand, they fly beneath my feet
I'm unknown

Faded memories are too much for my soul
The key with life is to let it unfold

Welcome to the day, when all of us as one
Will rise up
They tell us, they tell us again that we can't make a change
Prove them wrong, we're gonna prove them wrong

Though faded memories are too much for my soul
And all my enemies are plotting in the cold
The key with life is, you've got to let it unfold

The unknown.
We pretend it doesn't exist, deny it through shaking hands
But at last we come to terms

Soon it will be time to venture forth into the unknown
It's time to move on.

Bravery is not a small feat.

To stand tall and announce to the world your hidden
          it takes formidable inner strength.
The very idea of taking it to the open
          haunts and frightens you.

To what end?

If we succumb to the temptations of silence
Jump toward the Siren song
          we are finished.

Why are we here if not for chance?
          for chances are, chances are everything.
Why do we persist if not for triumph?
          risks are the surest paths to reward.

If then, chance and change are gates to paradise, why
Do we shy away?

fear.

Unjustified, unnecessary, indescribable
          fear.

Demolish it, and in the ashes of what was once a god-forsaken
          wasteland
You will discover
    
          hope.

Glass.
It's all so much broken glass
Cascading over old wounds

Numbing self-awareness

To numb we travel
To all else.

The fingers of my soul reach out to you
Across this distance
Searching, hoping for
Something beside the point.

To be quite honest
To throw it out there
Twitching
In the streets
To be squashed beneath
Thoughts deemed more important
In this instance
In this moment
To bare the heart of the feeling
Anticipating a knife
To slide into this innocence and
Stop its nonsensical beating
To sum it all up,

I miss you.

Hello.

Love is a candle.

Like music, its soft
fluid motions
Focus my mind

In search of a discovery
Worthy of my time
While so many
Twisting shadows stalk me
Feeding on my determination

A blue sky crackles with lightning
Instantly gray.

I hide behind my walls of sound
My fearless protectors
And dare not venture out

into the storm

Hey, look
It's me there on the wall
Never thought I'd look so frightened
Never thought I'd seem so small

Isn't that all they ever tell you?
That we're just fighting for the cause
This time it is quite different
We're breaking our own laws

Flailing
Turning
Writhing
Burning
Fire's in my blood

Snacking on my hopes and dreams
Watching as I tumble

down.

People are never who you expect them to be
No one conforms, in the simplest sense

We all move on; we all change
Nothing is solid, nothing remains

Walk on as the road behind you crumbles.

Are not we all simply vessels of wood
Pulled by tactful strings
Eased every which way they desire?

Are not we powerless
Unable to overthrow the influence of every
Little shred of evidence as to why
This is wrong?

Are not we spoken for
In the gazes that say everything
In the eyes that meet you and tremble
In the hollow laughter

We are nothing but shells
Failures forgotten
To sink deep in the ocean of time
And disappear.

Sit alone, forgotten room
An empty piece of paper
You clear your mind, blow out the smoke
And open yourself to thought
A minute passes, an hour
Begin to wonder if it will ever return
And then it does
Hand grasps at pencil
Words flowing out of your head
Fill one page, then another
So many thoughts, all rushing
To get out, to be heard
Inspiration has left its mark
On you
You will not forget its touch
Ache in its absence
Revel in its light
It is you, and you are
A part of it.

No matter the day
Be it morning or noon
No matter the time
The hours pass soon

Love is all
All my thoughts
All my dreams
My everything.

I wish for my baby
Wish for the fall
And despite all this madness
Love is all

The light shining around us is helping us to find
What we have always found to be impossible at night
Wake up my friend, the sun is high in the sky
And the beauty of this place still leaves me tongue-tied

Look around….Look around….
Can’t you feel the energy flow in this river of sound?
Look around….Look around….
Can’t you let your troubles go in this haven that I found?

The woods are getting weary
They can’t take much more
All of this development is ripping out their core
Why can’t we see the beauty, glimpse the tranquil bliss that
Though we pass through for a while
Soon leaves us to reminisce

Look around….Look around….
Can’t you feel the energy flow in this river of sound?
Look around….Look around….
Can’t you let your troubles go in this haven that I found?

There was a time when it was simpler
And we knew just what to do
Making music in the dark
Helped cure the color blue
Dusk is growing near now
Love, reach out for a star
Keep it; hold it, in your hand
And it will take you far

Look around….Look around….
Can’t you feel the energy flow in this river of sound?
Look around….Look around….
Can’t you let your troubles go in this haven that I found?

The clock is ticking
Our time is at an end
Never forget what you’ve learned and
Be sure to send
This message to your loved ones
Be true to your soul
If you pretend you’re someone else, well
It’ll take its toll

Look around….Look around….
Can’t you feel the energy flow in this river of sound?
Look around….Look around….
Can’t you let your troubles go in this haven that I found?

Fishing for a soul
Glimpsed her once, a time since past
Never have I seen her since
My lines are tangled; I am my own doubt
I'm fishing for a soul, emptiness is my name
Until the day I see her again.

Dear God, I cannot stop thinking about you.
Your images is seared into my mind
Your voice echoes in my head
When I look in the mirror, I see your smile reflected back at me

My friends tell me my eyes have changed color.
Have they?
I haven't noticed.
I'm only concerned with that unique turquoise that makes up yours

The days grow colder, but
They are only as cold as the time not spent with you
And this time
Makes up for all the frigid hate that cloaks the rest of the world
Fully.

Dear God, I cannot stop thinking about you.
A melody passes through my ears
Invoking memories of times since past
The stars, so inviting
Revealed many truths I have yet to find fault with

What I found then
Has changed my life
For the better
Dear God, I cannot stop thinking about you.

Cold winds blow the autumn leaf from its stand
Twisting and turning in waves of air as it slowly
Falls to the ground.
Until the mighty tree, once so full of green
Lies barren under darkening clouds.
But all is not lost, its sacrifice is not in vain, for
Even as the last leaf falls
As the final animal settles down to wait out the months
The winds are changing.
Glorious green returns and claims its home among the wood
Plants reach up to the sun
Animals crawl out of their burrows to greet the rising day

It was winter.
Now it is spring.

We're at a ball, a masquerade
Hiding behind the shallow disguises that we ourselves have made
Out of the fear that we should ever be
Sub-par, unwanted fools who play the game by the wrong rules
Unknowing and intoxicated slugs

Away, the fear goes when you are near, love
And this song I hear, it can't be simpler to me
I am not who I want to be
Oh, no no no.

We're at a dance, the high school prom
Oh god, oh no, here comes your mom
With cameras blazing, intent on capturing each and every moment
Head's spinning all too much
Perhaps they really spiked the puch
Around, around, around, around
Inside

Away, the fear goes when you are near, love
And this song I hear, it can't be simpler to me
I am not who I want to be
Oh, no no no.

We're at a concert, music bash
Here comes the snare, here comes the crash to
Rouse us up when we've let go and follow up killer guitar solos
Head banging, purple lights, it's just another crazy night
We'll look back on in 20 years and laugh

Away, the fear goes when you are near, love
And this song I hear, it can't be simpler to me
I am not who I want to be
Oh, no no no.

We have all lost so much
Our precious homes, your precious touch
And it may seem like such a shame to never see the sun
Trapped here by earthen walls while
Mighty towers crumble, fall
But a small hope is all, illuminating ravaged minds

Cry out for reason
Why would this hell happen here? I
Can't shake this feeling
Caused by an onslaught of fear, and
As my memories fall to the ground
I wonder how

Looking back on the past
Beautiful things never last
We delude ourselves in believing this cannot be true
Concrete turned to rising dust by
Broken minds and broken trust
Billowing in dark destructive clouds
It eats away at you

Cry out for reason
Why would this hell happen here? I
Can't shake this feeling
Caused by an onslaught of fear, and
As my memories fall to the ground
I wonder how

When it rains
You know I feel what you feel
Everything you've ever known
All your wounds that never heal

Yeah, when it rains
I feel the same
Don't let just anybody
Come take your breath away
When it rains

When it rains
You know I see what you see
All the vivid colors, shapes, and sounds
Come out and surround me

Yeah, when it rains
Don't be ashamed
You have every right to
Speak up and say your name
When it rains.