I left because you wanted me gone.

I love you!

I came back for you.

but...

I left my thoughts in Immokale.

I left my drive in Lehigh.

My inspiration is scattered over the waters of Ft. Myers beach.

My plans wait in South beach.

Orlando, Tampa bay, and Fort Lauderdale still whisper my name.

It's time to go back to the sunshine state.

It's fading, this sense of hope.
Your voice in the background.
All these voices. they want what I do.

**** what you gave me
No! I can't give in.
I must keep trying.

Why? All hope is lost!
You're destined to fail!

”be better”....
The only words I still hear over all this commotion.

No I love you's, no smiles.
Just thoughts of progress.

Remeber when I gave you the ring.
I wore it that night around my neck.
Thinking I would never have a chance to give it to you

So parking lot pimping turned into a night in jail.
You were my first call somehow knowing you would answer.
I came out shirt torn, bruised and mouth ******.
I had a smile on my face, not because I was proud of what had transpired but because you actually gave a **** to show up.

I pulled the ring out of my pocket rope and all. Handed it to you saying ”I forgot to give you this”.
I rufused to go to the doctor a decision im still second guessing.

Took you out to eat. Subconsciously knowing you had been wanting to go to hayashi .
Held your hand in love and appreciation knowing that I would never want to do that to you ever again.

You wore the ring it was pretty much a perfect fit.
I tried my best to keep that promise engraved on it.

I did things I would never do for another who I did not love.

I may have my demons, but for you in your time of need they could never get in the way.

Now it probably sits in that little jewelry tin case in your new aparment  with you not even giving it a second glance.

But if you ever decided to pick us both back up. It reads.....

” given in love for proctection”.

Stop invading my thoughts!
You dont want me and I know.
Why do these memories of you and me kissing so slow play in my head?
Others have crossed this path.
Yet memories of that fade and dont last.
*******!
Not for doing this to my body.
But for infesting my brain.
You came with Babbage which....
only a selfless soul could claim.
game that  flowed because it came so naturally.
Definitely got the better of me.
*******.
Why didn't you just let me keep my stride.
I was better off alone.
Than with you and the kid on my mind.
Now its not even about you.
I just dont want people to treat him like hes a must cause he comes with a beauty like you.
*******.
You're hurting him without knowing.
And you're killing me consciously.
*******!
for making me want it to be just the kid you and me.

What i would give to have you back in my life.
For a smoke and a nagging lecture.
The advice still rings in my head.
Go to school,
Go to work,
Take care of your brothers,
Life isnt all about partying.
God ****** chemo! Youre way to old to be doing this ****!
All of clear as day.
I understand now.
Im sorry, at the time it just sounded like another rant.
But it stuck a little too late but it stuck.
Thank you for being there. Thank you for telling me anything.
Thank you for showing me what a real man is sappoused to be.
Hard working, humble, respectful, and a family man.
Your time came too soon. And we didt learn enough.
Looking down the hallway, knowing youll never walk out of the room.
That ill never be woken up when its time to go to work.
That im left to bleed my own raidiator, change my own oil, and change my brakes.
I got this! Thanks to you.
Dont worry wherever you are. Rest easy and let us handle what we have to now.
We didnt deserve you. But we got lucky.
Till we see eachother in the other realm .
Happy birthday grandpa!
I love you! I miss you!