Drunk not yet plastered. so from this world I am my master. Realsms colide and I reside in the middle. Fiddle with illusions and reality, but my abnormalities keep me sane. Pain keeps me going as these weak emotions leave me in a realm of the unknowing. searching never seems to get old, but have once been told to be better. Not from this deases in which I bleed, but from the seed in which I plant.  My drestruction holds a sweet flower, the aroma it is unmistakablelike, like fresh durt being tuned or Like hair being burned. Detectable as it may be. I seem to to hope, wish, and pray to be free. To bad that's just the drunkeness in me. I love my garden because it is mine. Yet I have better flowers and fresh growth in mind. A pity that influenced thoughts will never flurish.

can't belive that after all these years. your star still glimmers still shines.. our relationship was over a while back, but your drama is mine. these wicked memories will haunt me throughout this life time. you dropped the x curse, with a heartless vengeance and no remorse. you might as well join the sith cause your selfish ways are all powered by the dark force. yet you string me along. like a lingering blaze after a hit of a gravity ****. your potency is strong. as you send me on a bad trip. i realize that this was just a manifestation and in your world i dont belong. so i say gods speed. i wish i could rip you from my memories no matter how much my mind bleeds. just thinking of the waste of time we were stresses me out. much so that it makes the hair line reseed. tried to make ammense and repair this bridge that i burned. apparently you still urne for my demise. it stings but it comes as no suprise. we were a fable with a wrong mixture of chemicals that made us unstable. i wanna say ******* but i really mean thank you. thanks because you showed me how how full of hate one can be. now that i look back on it i'm glad cause you gave me wings. the strength and the courage to never be bound but free.. we were never in the stars so let it be.

The same venom that once held me doomed, came to consume the rest of the flesh but not much was left since my hollow body is gaudy and well immune. The feet were firmly planted as I gazed off into the moon! So lingering thoughts of emotions once lost seeped through the cortex. only to be undermined by the defense walls that were put in place for just a certain circumstance. It was worth everything, even a chance! But cautious I was as I seemed to sink in your very being. Yet you were never my addiction just the very contradiction to what I want.

Need inspiration, need to shake this feeling. Day by day just waking and dealing. the mind never stops as I stand still. mornings are bearable and nights go without saying. Where's that spark I came here with? Where's the ego that kept the engine turning? all smiles for now to save some kind of face. one step at a time, foundation before the house. Beaten but not out!