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97 · Dec 2020
decay
Samara Dec 2020
it happens all the time
& i'm out of my mind.
no matter the season
i'm stuck in decline
95 · Nov 2023
to a parent or two
Samara Nov 2023
as someone who remembers
being a kid so vividly,
all i can say to parents
so they will see:

that to be young
is scary
and your only job
is to carry
their pains
& their paints
as they navigate
this mundane maze.
- - -
your time & affection
no apps nor toys
can rush.

in time
your pain & affliction
they will touch.
95 · Dec 2020
us
Samara Dec 2020
us
prolific are we
in our thoughts unseen

beautiful unsung melodies
playing the tune of our memories

distant kindred spirits
weary with the worldly physics

together we weave
a linguistic tapestry
94 · Dec 2020
influencers
Samara Dec 2020
It used to be us
against the advertisers
now,
we've become
the advertisers
brandishing every paper
that blows our way.
Isn't it wild that the videos and reviews and tutorials we once sought guidance from are now just extravagant advertisement ploys and sponsorship-fishing attempts? Even people who are digital "nobodies" aka your next door neighbor or childhood friend are trying to become influences even though they have no real expertise nor experience!
94 · Dec 2023
no matter
Samara Dec 2023
what matter is it
the color of mine eyes
who open the world
with the aperture of light
and illumine all in sight

what matter is it
the size of my brain
who opens the world
with the transference of light
and the shadow of perception

what matter is it
the depth of my intellect
who opens the world
with the gravity of light
and the ability of thought

what matter are they all
who open the world
when they neglect the light
shining within my soul
93 · Dec 2020
le midi
Samara Dec 2020
shaded by a sun hat
in the south of France
reclined on a lawn chair
overlooking the Mediterranean.

Parliament smoke lingers
in my frizzy black hair
but I smell like lavender
from the fields of Provence

my fresh preened scarlet nails
rhythmically tap the flute
of '95 Roederer Cristal
while I wait for my
Edmond Dantès
imprisoned--
to become seasoned
like my wine.

I grow old & impatient
yet still I'm waiting
for my dear Dantès
wherever he may lay

making sure my brow
won't furrow
and i eat bone marrow
so my lover will see
me just as he had left me
- - -
young & beautiful
sitting by the seaside-
my long smooth legs
stretched and glistening
in the sand where we
drank together,
bottles of cheap wine
93 · Dec 2020
please let me be
Samara Dec 2020
tiresome
and
lonesome
i grow,
living under
your constant
shadow.
always trying
to impress
leaves me
quite depressed
that i can never
be what you want
so much so that
i don't even know what
it is
that i want.
92 · Dec 2020
density
Samara Dec 2020
it feels like
being stuck
in the density

dark hazy
visage
clouding
the view
and a
big boulder
on your
shoulders,
on your chest,
and on your
lungs.

keeping you
tumbling over
and over again
in the density
90 · Dec 2020
coffee
Samara Dec 2020
driving up bear hill
under the overcast shroud
to escape winter's breadth
and bitter kinetic.
- - -
she soon leaves
for a hot cup of coffee
to make her insides feel
what she desires
89 · Dec 2020
don't speak.
Samara Dec 2020
In brief breaks
of my isolation
I fit in all the words
I did not have the
opportunity to share.
- - -
And just like that,
I spend the rest
of my isolation
wishing I had
stayed quiet
instead.
89 · Dec 2023
mean
Samara Dec 2023
Showered with accolades-
none rightfully assigned to name.

Why cant they see me cowering
at the hand of every whim &
whimpering while unyielding
to the slightest of sense of sanity?

Maybe that then becomes
the source of their unequivocal
sound of reason
used to placate & personify
the sharp gazes of scrutiny
aimed directly at me.
89 · Nov 2023
light soul
Samara Nov 2023
light shines through
onto all that's true

no will nor worry
can conceal nor carry

son of my sons
you're nothing
without the Sun

who rises in the east
so the moon can
shine in the west

no matter your
frays nor feigns
he always knows best.

soul of my souls
you're nothing
when alone

together we gather
and for all
a happily ever after.
89 · Nov 2023
condition pt. 2
Samara Nov 2023
i wave my flag
colored white & red
wanting it to be
pure, righteous, holy.

yet instead of white
it burns bright red
feigning fealty
before it scatters in the wind
slate blue.

a little grey,
a little blue
until i'm left
not knowing
what's true.
88 · Dec 2020
heroine
Samara Dec 2020
suburban siren screams
quiet on tv screens
it's an ordinary scene
58 days since he's been clean

trying other ways to escape
the rural landscape
guess it didn't work for long
that means he must've been wrong
Samara Mar 27
gasoline spills across the board;
absentee children i seem to hoard.
stuck to iridescent surface tension
not found within;
does blame live there
or is it truly shared?

digging through debris
hoping to find the one that cared;
who would never banish me to become
maimed, misguided, nor scared.

from whence will appear
the ginger-headed djinn
granting me the trinity
formed by desire driven sins?

sit idle with idol images
but only yours appears
nameless sin
kindred curiosity
divine providence
sparked by malaise
. . .
what will i find
swimming through the deep waters
coming from your soulful gaze?
87 · Dec 2023
rumination
Samara Dec 2023
i live & relive
what i should've said instead.
all in the hope
of showing you
what's going on in my head.

perhaps then you'll see
me for who i think myself to be.
instead i must learn
to trust you
with your perception
of me,
my imperfect prose,
& maybe my deception.
- - -
i pray someday to find
that for which I yearn.


87 · Dec 2020
chills
Samara Dec 2020
grand & glorious,
& a little bit delirious
Chantilly lace
it's not my pace
my style is quaint
weary & intimate
it gets so tiring
trying to be inspiring
wondering where it leads
and when i can just be me
86 · Nov 2020
fading
Samara Nov 2020
in a lawless loveland
bickering over the tempo
my darling -
am i going too slow?

- - -

pastel sunsets
shaping the sihlouette
that is you.

am i someone
you outgrew?
86 · May 7
underwater
Samara May 7
strands of imperfect love
stretched long to reveal array of colors.
buds bloom through amongst their dead,
remains of a rainbow just out of reach
grand evolution playing the part
passing through time for the art
that outlives us.

the water that surrounds us and becomes
fills our lungs with its weight
even so, air escapes as we exhale
and lifts protected in itself rising
as proof another world exists beyond.

frictionless yet not a vacuum
we become what we consume
but in a water-filled room
what else can we assume
but to fear the unknown
hoping answers reveal after long we've grown?

shine the light of awareness
spotlit with intention upon darkness that shrouds us.
justice is the seed that grows
so too are we who reap and become what we sow.
the might of the machine is matched by light green
that serves not to deprive but to live and be free.

helical thread traversing on the back of time
spiraling through matter to create indifference
satiating the thirst of balance
that will be all ours in due course.

please set me free from the shackles
of this pig-headed society.
free will comes at a cost
to look in the face of what can be lost,
disregarding through life times
surely coming home
to the eternal sunshine.
86 · May 7
prophetic
Samara May 7

fan the flame
wick to wildfire
all the blame
to unjust liars
- - -
clinging to comforts-
my thoughts are shaped like death:
shortness of breath,
bringing about sudden sedation;
abrupt cessation.
vanishing back into the collective,
never knowing what it is to live.

reminiscent of the baleful days:
when the plagues sweep,
the emperor sleeps
on the bed of providence-
& there they lay, collecting dust.
- - -
clearing in the sky,
do you ever wonder why
full moon stagnancy
conceals the throbbing moonlit scene?
when can we reemerge from underneath
this adamant cloud cover?
while
waiting for the birth
of the mane in the manger
to blaze the way on earth
and make kin of all strangers.
85 · Nov 2023
pasture
Samara Nov 2023
deep in the abyss
of the tether
lives a little girl
beautiful as ever
her eyes affixed
on each passing gaze
as she wonders
what a heavenly play

a calf safely caged
under his mother
as they share
the company of
one another.
supple and grazed.

the curtain draws
and the roles are called
now she’s awakened
to all the horrors

calf’s branded veal
and his mother dairy
it’s suddenly turned
truth so scary.
84 · Dec 2020
monsoon
Samara Dec 2020
like the wayward moon
and the woodwind tune,
i too fell in love with having
a life that has gone too soon
84 · Dec 2020
identity
Samara Dec 2020
i have never been
the shy type
hiding behind
books and glasses
escaping to the day
i'm whisked away
into a whirlwind romance

i have never been
the life of the party
drawing everyone's gaze
magnetic and vibrant
as i dance with
a stranger on the
table

i have never been
the proper primrose
with neatly
stacked shelves
of all my
accomplishments

i have only been
the shapeless one
fading into the background
belonging to no one
with failure as my shadow
trying to make it another day
toward my tombstone
Samara Jan 24
concrete milieu
prime for the scraping
of  knees that hold me
while i'm praying for
reprieve shaped by space
for flowers to grow-
out of my vision
- - -
the colors still impression
clearly in periphery
escaping my gaze
82 · Dec 2020
carry me
Samara Dec 2020
i want to throw
caution and responsibility
to the wind
and follow that wind
across the world
with not a penny
to my name.
82 · Jan 19
separated by a summer
Samara Jan 19
really makes you wonder
the jarring push
out of the nest
swishing you into new age.
- - -
stumbling to steady
only took the best of me
to find barge at sea
whose buoyancy still
fails to carry
82 · Nov 2023
birds' eye view
Samara Nov 2023
are we all
hooded
modern day mystics &
present day bards
in an echo chamber
repeating the call
?
80 · May 7
alchemists academy
Samara May 7
citrus stripping away the pain
painted across my face
while subjected to a world
of linen skinned
with denim daydreams
laced & lined
in lavender leaves.

rain dance on my grave
where i lay still praying for rain
from heavens that hawks circle
wings cutting through winds
gliding on the air waves
perching steady where mockingbirds
pester with their imitation games
80 · Dec 2020
anxiety
Samara Dec 2020
the thoughts take hold
& don't let go
they linger in my head
& i can't put them to rest

they haunt me awake
they haunt me asleep
around and around
they dance
and put me
in a trance

where i can't
breathe or move
because they leave me
constantly wondering
what if?
80 · Jan 12
mangled
Samara Jan 12
cold seeps into extremities
reminding me once again
that i'm getting older &
more intimate with frailty.
slowly but surely-
becoming the reaping of
my younger selves' sowing.
here i retreat inward
to find the soul
for the world outside
has lost its gold
that was never there.
fear fuels my nightmares
but i'm told to stay scrambling
for the light within my dreams
and the threads painted by love
to weave anew.
but the skeins stay drab
and the pastels tangled.
however will i continue
with my thoughts all mangled?
79 · Nov 2023
bias
Samara Nov 2023
arrows of allegations.
bullets of accusations.
human shields are we all,
in front of logic
and reason.

an eye for an eye
while we choose to stay blind
never asking why
we **** everyone we find
the levant
79 · Dec 2023
four seasons
Samara Dec 2023
the seasons used to turn in quick succession
constantly captivating attention
each had a name and place to be
each had a friend and something to see.

the season here slowly meanders
between peaks and shoulders
and shoulders and peaks
which is which? it's hard to speak.
78 · Jan 19
mist hanging so still.
Samara Jan 19
the cocktail swirling in my gut
slowly dissolving to ease
body and mind
but suddenly my soul
gets enlightened and I'm queasy

it should've been
easy
but the tempest thoughts
take control and they just wont
let go

slight shift in countenance.
contempt or consternation?
up for my contemplation
swirling around in my head
like the cocktail in my gut
78 · Dec 2020
i hate that
Samara Dec 2020
i'm
different
even though
i don't want
to be.
- - -
i want to want
the money
power
& glory
that everyone
longs for
instead of wanting
to console
the inconsolable.

i want to want
the newest
Apple watch
& the hottest
Louboutin's &
to fly with Hermes.

i want to want
to be the
belle of the ball
& best friends
with Beyoncé.

but i
just
couldn't
care
any
less.
- - -
though
i wish
i would.
77 · Dec 2020
we never even met
Samara Dec 2020
Chris and Abby
young loved together
a love like no other
akin to Annabel and her Lee
but two years down the line
they became history

Abby never stopped loving
him and his symphony.
lonely and heart broken
Abby grew cold
she learned to tell no lies
until that's all she became

years down the line
Abby still wonders
what became of her
long-lost lover

she remembers the innocent
way they spoke and
misses the constant company
he gave her

she remembers he loved
drinking Monster
and that for a while
he became that to her
- - -
heartbreak fades
and most of all
she wonders if
she'll ever have
the magic of her
first true love
again
77 · Nov 2023
collection
Samara Nov 2023
as the river rushes to the sure sea
meeting up at tributaries
&
as the earth travels through breeze
circling round leaves of strawberry
&
as the birds lay
on a warm summer day
so merry
&
as lambs graze
leaves of grass
singing tunes
of this too shall pass
- - -
truth & perfection
can be surely known
when you find yourself
at the intersection
77 · Jan 12
tangerine
Samara Jan 12
i crave the abuse of hot coffee
warming my insides
and setting fire to my brain
already on amphetamines.

together they ride the chariot
lead by me-the workhorse
yoked by the weight
of the world.

their whip lashes me to action
for without it
i am nothing
but
futile


until the yoke is lifted
i must keep fueling
my one & many
addictions
that set fire to my insides.
77 · Jan 26
stream
Samara Jan 26
let it flow
whichever way
the wind blows
- - -
maybe then,
swiftly swishing through rocks
it can find itself
a nice little
home.
75 · Mar 22
unreciprocated
Samara Mar 22
i hear your pleas
and learn to respond accordingly
through rain
through shine
pushing past pain coursing through these veins
needing next time to be mine.
how do i act my age?
when i'm treated like some super-human sage
who's child am i?
i wonder as i look up to the sky
75 · Mar 22
velveteen
Samara Mar 22
heirs and heiresses
erring their cautions
blood thrusting through veins in hurried vigor and vitality
floating in fine wines and melodies so effortlessly poured
knowing not a possibility of drowning.

Clenching oxblood between teeth,
What little remains dripping down lips
creeping down my chin and
sinking into the depths of velveteen fibers caressing my neck.

Tighter
but loose enough to breathe.
Damper
but dry enough to stay afloat.

Flaming chiffon carnation
unraveling into a dance of ruffles.

Recluse of intrusive
thoughts beyond attainment.

No fife nor drum
conjure evidence concurring victory.
No strife to be named nor likened
to familiar perils.

Just an ethereal
reprieve of condolences
irradiating in the plague of mine.
Ephemeral sparks of hope
placating the absurd.
Entrenched in the hopeful hopelessness of the universe.

What catharsis lifts such dull fog?
Light enough to see through
yet dark enough to burden.
one of my first poems.
75 · Dec 2020
mort
Samara Dec 2020
who is it that will lay
flowers upon my grave
though it won't mean
anything to me
cause i have gone away

is it only when we scatter
our ashes
that we may be
anything & anywhere
we want?
75 · Dec 2020
trail blazen
Samara Dec 2020
aiming directionless indiscretion
hitting what was layed before us
as if that be what we desired
all along.

who are we when there lay
nothing before us and
what may we spearhead in
land not blazen for us

will we ever know?
i don't think so.
75 · Dec 2020
sky high ballet
Samara Dec 2020
silver-lining
silhouette
cabriolé in the
lavender-grey
clouds
- - -
she was kissed
by the sun
and he watched her
pas de basque
-
74 · Apr 29
impatiens
Samara Apr 29
how am i to know
what bricks must be laid?
when the game has been played-
which seeds should be sown
what garden must be grown?
will this house still stand to show?
there's really no way for me to know.
- - -
if i am the question-master,
i am Father Time's slave
for he holds all the answers
but chases only his own grave

- - -
there's nothing to be done,
save reclining in space-
while trying to become one
with this Mother Earth's place,
where lives her many daughters
and also her Sun
under which we lay
-sparkling & suffering-
there's nothing to be won.
73 · Mar 8
already bleeding
Samara Mar 8
plunge the dagger
a little bit deeper
into the flesh of this body
of bellowed breaths
and unseen depths

plunge the dagger  
a little bit deeper
i'm just trying-
to get some sleep here

plunge the dagger
a little bit deeper
it can't hurt anymore
and i'm not keeping score

plunge the dagger  
a little bit deeper
i guess maybe,
this is how it's meant to be


72 · Dec 2023
sunlit
Samara Dec 2023
climb up the ladder
to the summit of privilege
there's no freedom found here
except at the ledge

reach out your hand
for someone to grab it
lift them up to stand
beside you, they're sunlit.
72 · Dec 2020
please
Samara Dec 2020
console me
& just hold me
don't tell me i'm wrong
'cause i know i am

please
just let me cry
in your arms
while you hold me
like a child

i know it's my fault
i don't deny that
but for once,
please
just hold me
- - -
i'm pleading.
while my heart's
still beating
there are some moments you can't go alone..
72 · Jan 19
severance
Samara Jan 19
public entrance
to the festival of deliverance:
what they don't show you
is the underbelly of temperance.
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