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Mar 2020 · 177
The smell of strangers
Sam Greig-Mohns Mar 2020
The train is full of strangers

I am not looking at them yetI know they are there
Bodies pressed close to mine
Eyes closed I breath in their lives

Old leather shoes, perfume, hair gel and peach lotion

The stranger in front of me smells of a wet January afternoon
Cold and sharp, yet with a familiar damp mustiness that lingers in his absence
To his left is an early morning breakfast smell
Oatmeal and sugar
Brown sugar with heavy caramel undertones that melt into the memory

He steps past Wet January, past Hair Salon and steps off
Wet January follows on his heels while Hair Salon remains , now on my right

We are joined by English Sitting Room, he is made of cigar smoke and wooden matches, leather arm chair and stone fireplace, beside him is Darkened Movie Theatre and Old Gym Bag

Everyone shuffles; hive minded away from Old Gym Bag
Hair Salon is muttering.
English Sitting Room rustles a newspaper
Movie Theatre brushes my shoulder, apologizes and disappears.

I wish, vaguely to ask what I might seem to them in my own internal context if only to satisfy the slow bubbling curiosity that wells up in me from some deep hidden place

But my stop has come and I am stepping off now
Knowing my existence will pass silently from their thoughts all together as soon as the doors close behind me

Goodbye Hair Salon and English Sitting Room
Farewell Old Gym Bag, until next we meet if ever again
Feb 2019 · 324
Loud
Sam Greig-Mohns Feb 2019
It’s to loud here
There is to much happening

Everywhere I turn the sound is finding crevasses
Seeping through like rain water
A downpour of noise
It trickles in faster then I can bail it out again
Filling everything

I have no room to think here
The air is made of harp strings all vibrating in a different tone
Shaking all thought right from my head

Enough, this has to stop...
I draw back behind my walls
An island of silence

I watch people slip past my guarded coastline
They call to me

My eyes flick lines of morse code to them
But they are far to busy being loud to hear the soft tick tick of my conversation

I sit alone to watch a muted sunset
Static lapping against my toes in frothy waves
But I don’t hear a thing

Finally, it is quiet
Sometimes the world just feels far to busy for me
Oct 2018 · 269
House of colored glass
Sam Greig-Mohns Oct 2018
I lived in a glass house once... it was perfect
perfect walls... perfect floors... perfect ceiling...
...always perfect... but never happy

that's what happens though isn't it?
when you live in the idea that your life should be scrutinized by strangers
when your life, becomes their life

Don't throw stones they say
Don't break down those perfect walls, perfect floors, perfect ceiling
Don't shatter our expectations of you

I threw stones
this is my life.. not yours
May 2018 · 280
This way up
Sam Greig-Mohns May 2018
when every mirror holds but a fractured selection of truths
which ones do you trust?
who is left to say what side once said This way up

or is every moment just a chance encounter.. rolling dice without numbers
over.. and over.. and over
until we land mirrored side up
smiling.. or not

or not

I'm not asking for sense.. just direction
so I can move forward
rather then just roll over
again
Nov 2017 · 410
Balloons for you
Sam Greig-Mohns Nov 2017
There are no strings on these balloons
so instead lets just drift together
even if it's only for a moment
I'll be here with you
until you just
fly away
the choice is always yours to make but this is mine
Nov 2017 · 270
Mimic
Sam Greig-Mohns Nov 2017
"They took my mom off life support"

That was how our conversation started
My friend cried
he never cries...

I just stare back at him
feeling nothing, but I am crying too

My brain is re-enacting an action without meaning

copy, paste
copy, paste
copy, paste

We cry together

He hugs me and I hug him back
I think how hot he feels
like a fever of grief

His tears are soaking through my shirt, collecting against my skin and sliding down
one by one towards my heart

I can't feel anything anymore... just him
I want to, but I can't... or won't

I know I have all the right words filed away for such a situation

Cue card apologies
Voice recordings in my head on repeat
Other peoples words... not mine

I'm so sorry
I'm so sorry
I'm so...
I'm not sorry

I'm sad for you...
yes... that belongs to me
that I can say

We hug again
He feels like a wildfire against my cold exterior

I'm so sorry
I'm so sorry
I'm... tired of all the pretending

My feelings are currency without value here
so I keep them hidden

I'm not sorry
I can't be
It's not my fault
never was

Cancer can't be my fault, and my currency
well, we both know it has no value to buy back those tears

So, no... I'm not sorry
Those are someone else's words
a very good friend lost his mother to cancer after being diagnosed only 4 months earlier, though it was the way people calmly approached and apologized to him for his loss with slack emotionless faces that inspired this work
Mar 2016 · 413
Sheep march on
Sam Greig-Mohns Mar 2016
Don't stop
don't think
just walk

A step at a time

Don't look up
don't speak
eyes down and lifeless

Keep moving
following
walking

Don't see the danger
don't question it
just walk

Right off the edge
you're one of them now
one of us now

There's no turning back

You're one of the herd now
Mar 2016 · 353
Lost in translation
Sam Greig-Mohns Mar 2016
It's not you...
but maybe it is

Because you hate them
even though they're just like you

You mirror them
rejecting a reflection that never asked for your opinion

Demanding change from things you never even touched upon

While standing on your righteous patch of ground
You declare that no other could see the world as you do
But your eyes are closed...

I'm confused by your anger

Shouting as street signs for not being trees
parking lots that are not meadows
people

Who just turn away because they think you're insane...

Doomsday won't come tomorrow just because you didn't plant as many trees as you took breaths today
So slow down
please...

Take my advice
our advice
the worlds advice

Take it all and just, come down from your ivory tower
We can take down the bricks together

Plant as many trees as you take breaths in a lifetime

If you could just take the time to listen
you won't lose everything in translation
Aug 2015 · 340
Pray for me
Sam Greig-Mohns Aug 2015
I'll be gone soon

She never said it
there was no need
dark circles under her eyes said it
the way her shoulders bowed under the weight of it
sadness that clothed her
wrapping itself around every part of her

These things did not need to be said

She stood there silently with a much smaller woman
white hair and hands spotted by age
her face lined but soft as the words that flowed from her
their hands clasped tightly together
heads almost touching

May the Lord clothe you in his love so you shall never walk naked or alone
May he guide you to your rightful place in heaven and welcome you as he does all his children

Her tears began to fall then
it seemed there were far to many

The train stopped and the women slowly parted
though neither spoke
there was no need

Pray for me her eyes said
for soon I'll be gone
Aug 2015 · 590
Harpy
Sam Greig-Mohns Aug 2015
Shrieking bounces off hard walls
scattering
needle fine
it settles on the backs of dull eyed drones

they march
follow orders
lift that
move this
break
now again

nothing is spoken
communication (if it can be called that) is ear piercing
a shrill high pitched demand of sound

my skin prickles

tense

drones march
this must go
that must stay

harpy perches
eyes of a scavenger seeking weakness
twisted beak juts forward
head turns slowly
pause, turn, pause, turn

relax again
keep moving
watch it settle
never satisfied
never happy
ugly restless feathered thing

looming, waiting...

Suddenly
Movement
Action

another victim
to late for them though

keep moving
don't linger
even as its shrieking mantra beats against my skull like hail

work, work, work
harder
faster
harder

if not so loathsome it might be jokingly ******

finally it stops

another drone rises
eyes dull, lost
compliant...

is this hell?
I need to get out of here...
Aug 2015 · 473
Shadow in a slip stream
Sam Greig-Mohns Aug 2015
Somethings are always real
solid with certainty
a brick walled reality that wont budge
like breathing
happening every moment without pause
without thought or need of reminding

this is not like breathing
it staggers through time
hesitant and awkward movements
lumbering through my reality

a Godzilla rerun
smashing brick walls
laying flat the steady rhythm of conscious thoughts
that pass (in one... out two) like breath through me

it crowds the air like smoke rings
choking off any escape from it
hanging a heavy shadow over my mind

Then its gone again
slipped away on a stream of thoughts that cant stop moving over one another

my brain feels like a mine field
nuclear test zone
cratered and still
burning debris is collecting in corners

why do you always make me feel this way
Jun 2015 · 652
The Crucial Villain
Sam Greig-Mohns Jun 2015
A hero really is just a stranger
hidden in a mask
to keep them guessing

They swoop in at the last second
save the day
and vanish...

Cape flying in the wind like forgotten banners
they can never stay long
after the villain has retreated

Vanquished for another day
they can never get too close
hold too tight

They fly on burning wings
every stroke cutting away at the time they have
to save those that can't hold them
feathers burning
falling
counting seconds in ashes

The battles
The victories
The villains

It is only with the crucial villains final defeat they see their error
but it is too late

So as always they must depart
now seeing the truth the villain always knows

Without them heroes are just strangers in capes
that everyone forgets
May 2015 · 491
Mutated society
Sam Greig-Mohns May 2015
Broken down
Forgotten bodies
Discarded heart beats

Breath stolen out of ignorance
Though damaged life grows like weeds
deserted parking lots become idle playgrounds

It survives, mutates to with stand the pressure
Forged in violence
Blood brothers ebb life life from one another
Drop by drop

Skin thickens
Hardens
Armour plated fall out shelters
Waiting for the winds to change

Scratching out twisted commandments
Handing down life lessons in blood shed
Brutality under a cloak of kindness

Mothers love never feels the same when her breath is seeped in last nights *** acts

Though hope still hangs over doorways
Crucifixes of the innocent still warning off demons disguised like fathers, uncles, brothers

Tear stained pillows can only hold so much betrayal
While stuffed animals stand sentry
Silent witnesses to a side of life no one ever wants to see
Sam Greig-Mohns Jan 2015
We laugh
at least you do
I watch you laughing
thinking the joke wasn't really that funny
at least to me

But maybe that's the punchline
I know to you this all makes sense

But that's a different punchline isn't it
for another joke I've never heard
or just don't find funny

maybe this just lacks context, don't you think
even the slightest sense of reality

But the gap between where I stand and where you do is only getting wider
we're drifting, but not together

You keep punching holes in your boat
like bad jokes
asking where the waters come from as you sink

lower
              lower
                         lower

I think its time I untied you from my life (preserver)
less you climb aboard when your boat sinks

Bad jokes and all
no punchline here

Just you and I, not making any sense at all
Dec 2014 · 354
Things forgot
Sam Greig-Mohns Dec 2014
This is not a poem of things that have happened
but things that never happened
this is a poem of lost things
pushed so far down they are forgotten

this is a poem of feelings
the ones that seem to have no place at all but still twist knots into your stomach
making muscles **** and spasm while icy fingers claw at your spine
while somewhere in your mind is lurking the hidden reasons for it all

why the sound of creaking floor boards sends frantic ripples through your mind
fingers gripping at your neck harsher then a nightmares kiss
can leave you in a seconds space on your knees and feeling sick
heart beat pounding in your chest, skin beaded with the coldest sweat

yet when questioned, queried, pressed to supply some kind of answer to any sudden change of action
you can only stand at a loss mind grasping at the empty spaces where a memory has been forever lost
Jun 2014 · 379
Falling between worlds
Sam Greig-Mohns Jun 2014
there was never any magic to finding my way to this place just another sleepless night
restless longing to feel, pretend that I could belong

somewhere, at least for a time

to cast my words like fishing lines in hopes of catching some fragment of acceptance
in a craft where I still fumbled
stumbled, blind as any bat

fingers grouping harsh and frantic after words that plagued my mind jerking sleep back like a rug that used to lay so still and lifeless

leaving me flat on my back head spinning with so many verses
titles for these names and faces
places, places I have yet to see but still go seeking endlessly

scratching words through coffee shops, plane flights.. bus stops
somber tones of concert halls rising higher

pitch matched only by these shaking hands still gripping pen and paper
feverish with intent and desire to find their place where two worlds could meet

if only as a passing glance between two threads of a second where I could simply fall in place and know as artists do
that I am not alone
Mar 2014 · 487
Those hands are not mine
Sam Greig-Mohns Mar 2014
These hands are not mine tonight
no they must belong to someone else

someone that I used to know
used to know all too well

I used to watch those hands grasping endless steaming mugs of tea
wash dishes slowly between 1 and 3 (am of course)
turn yellow pages one by one
how they could fend off sleep with every movement

I used to watch them slick with soap caressing every plate and spoon
folding sheets still warm from the dryer

anything to keep from halting, pausing
resting even for a moments time to think

as I now sit and think looking down at those hands
think how much they still can not be mine

for I am resting, sleeping
halting them from moving endlessly

so they, must not be mine
trailing thoughts of sleepless moments
Sam Greig-Mohns Mar 2014
But still, here I sit
toying with blackened words seeped in sadness
thinking lines like slow decline
broken hearted
so cliche and tear stained pages

clawing my way back from the brink
while shedding verbs of loneliness

isolated desperation clinging like my second skin
slowly flaking from my shoulders leaving only subtle traces
where my new skin yet feels to raw to pick up and carry on

stamping signs of happiness across black lines of begrudged depression
as though a noseless yellow face could succeed where I still fail
to vanquish the unease slowly eating at my restless mind

give me peace from these swinging moods
catapulting me between a selection of unfounded aggression and broken sobbing

I don't want to sit and think
words of how the light seems dim despite its heat

to take beauty out of sunrise
starlit nights and humble silence

take it back and leave me be
though I might not sleep for a week or three
as least I wont sit here late at night
and write depressed poetry
Feb 2014 · 813
E-Life
Sam Greig-Mohns Feb 2014
Whatever happened to those days
when 2 good friends was enough
4 was pushing your ability to see them all in a week
and more then you could count on one hand meant you were that kid with more money then social skills

What happened to picking up the phone
going 24 hours without texting someone
or god forbid
leaving the house without your cellphone, tablet, E-reader... ext... ext

Where did the enthusiastic answer Hell ya! go?
when was is swallowed up by the strange awkward silence usually following the question

Are you busy?

When was it converted into a hesitant and half hearted lie

I'll message you on Facebook...

When did the world start revolving around spray on tans
because no one goes outside anymore

When was LIFE exchanged for online credit
birthday reminders for people you've never met
high scores that wont matter tomorrow, or even 10 seconds from now

Farmville, Mafia wars, Bejeweled

and loneliness...
Jan 2014 · 925
Comfortable silence
Sam Greig-Mohns Jan 2014
Stop talking

Stop crying whispers into beer glasses between the rasping grasp of other voices
of stars already fading out of memory

feeling eyes that don't exist resting on the backs of people that you have never been and so have no need to try
if badly to regurgitate a version of a day that is to much like the last to strangers that care less for the smell of your cheap cologne then I do

Please stop

Filling these peaceful moment stolen from amidst the rushing sound of air that chases blindly after trains it has ever yet to catch
Leaving it along with you to wait at platforms that are far to crowded
even when they are mostly empty of other people more frightened of what happens when there is nothing left to say then you are

Just leave

Until you can tell me the meaning written in between the rhythmic movements of the fish within the pond
Sleek bodies moving one beside the other like overlapping silver petals
tears drops shed into the water from the faceless willow tree

Until you like me no longer feel the need
to chatter endless and insistent in between the moments when nothing should be said at all
but instead just sit
in silence
Jan 2014 · 844
Been worse
Sam Greig-Mohns Jan 2014
The train stops in front of me
first of the morning
get on the last car and walk quietly to the end of the row
a lone passenger sits in the aisle across from me
they wear only a thin coat even though the morning is cold and damp

It takes a moment to notice that the only foot prints down the aisle are mine
made of slow melting snow, it clings to my shoes
I wonder about that for a second...
but it’s early and the thought is brushed away leaving only the silence

No one else gets on the train with us
just the lone passenger and I
sitting silently
an impossible silence

The train runs along the track and I chance to look over at the lone passenger
they are looking back at me
unblinking, their face is weather worn and tired from life, long and hard

I want to look away, turn back and watch the darkness passing outside the window but they smile before I can
been worse, they say it softly as we look at each other
they nod slowly both to themselves and me
yes been worse they repeat
we sit again in that impossible silence

I open my mouth to question the statement
question the words of this lone passenger who passes through the world without leaving any foot prints in slow melting snow
but my words die before they have passed my lips

The automated announcer calls out my stop and the train slows
I get off and turn to look back at the lone passenger with the weather worn face
but the row is empty

There are no foot prints following mine out of the train door

No other foot prints in the slow melting snow

Again they have passed without leaving any

I stand on the platform watching the train pull away
as I stand there alone the words echo in my mind

Been worse... yes it has been, so much worse
but not anymore

I still leave foot prints in slow melting snow
not too worn to smile

Been worse...
but not anymore
not anymore
Sam Greig-Mohns Jan 2014
When was the last time
anyone took notice
of blank spaces
of silence

the ones that sit
hang back awkwardly
stand guard over lonely stretches
hesitate at crucial moments
wait

withoutthem
wordsarejustletters
crowdingtogether

in combination
they are limitless with possibility
weaving out of nothing
everything

take notice then of silence
that sits and waits
giving meaning
to every word
by being
here
Jan 2014 · 1.5k
A beautiful stranger
Sam Greig-Mohns Jan 2014
You had beautiful eyes
not that I noticed at first
first thing I saw was your feet

worn out black running shoes shuffling down the isle
fleece pajama pants with Calgary Flames logos all over
though it was pushing 30 degrees outside
and felt as if you could squeeze warm drops of water from the air

looking up as you stopped
blue and orange plaid criss crossed a winter jacket
despite the weather

your skin was tanned, not orange
you smelled of shampoo and vanilla lotion

watching as you pulled out cherry lip gloss
ran slender fingers over your shaved head

that was when you looked up... as if you knew

I'd been staring

I thought of a thousand reactions
you gave the only one I hadn't expected

then I noticed your eyes
just as the light came thought the window

they were brown, or maybe more like honey
fragmented emeralds drifting though them

you smiled and said nothing

not that you needed too
it was one of those moment that was better without words
would have been tarnished by them

where everything stopped completely and all I could think was

...wow...

nothing else happened to disturb that second
it just stretched on
no one else moved
or made a sound

I knew then that you were one of those people
you lit rooms with a glance
the one that others were drawn to
fell in love with

even if you didn't love them back
and wrote beautiful things about

I couldnt help but smile back
you were contagious
beautiful

the train stopped
you left

I stayed
and watched

watched you watching me through the window
smiling as though you had heard my thoughts

you knew I had really seen you
I understood

I would never see you again
our meeting was chance
but all the same

for just a second
I was in love
with a beautiful stranger
Jan 2014 · 1.5k
Salsa on sale
Sam Greig-Mohns Jan 2014
A sign, that was all
proclaiming in bold red letters

Salsa On Sale

below the letters a cartoonish Mexican
grinned and danced merrily

draped in his festive looking poncho
his sombrero that seemed to big
even for his shadow

along side him a monkey in a smart red vest
and tiny hat doing the same

tin cup in hand they danced together
trying to entice just a few more dollars from the pockets of the passers by

the irony of the moment struck me...

Monkeys don't like salsa!
Nov 2013 · 602
Never ever
Sam Greig-Mohns Nov 2013
Take more then you give
Bet more then you have
Spend more then its worth
Write love in the sand

Forget your moms birthday
Don't say things that need to be said
Go to bed anger
Throw old love letters away

Get to drunk to walk
Throw the first punch
Keep your Ex-girlfriends number on your Facebook phone app

Lose touch with your friends
Drink to be numb
Forget there are people that still want you around

Run up stairs in ****** flip flops
Lie to someone about the scars that you've got

Take it for granted
Forget that your loved

Life is about living
Never ever give up
Nov 2013 · 806
I closed my eyes
Sam Greig-Mohns Nov 2013
“YOU’RE NOT REAL” I screamed even as my knees buckled and I collapsed fingers gripping at the sides of my head as though I could make it all stop if only I could break through the fragile casing of my skull and force my finger tips deep into the softness of grey matter trapped within.

I cried then in the way that only children seem to be able to, I cried as I have never cried since that day with heart breaking sobs that made my chest ache even days later.
Days that I do not remember.

I know I stayed there for what felt like a life time, my body crumpled against the unforgiving wooden panelled floor shaking with each new sob that tore at my throat until I was sure that I might soon see blood as well as tears staining the fabric of my little blue jeans.

There were hands then, though I never saw them.
Large and rough with years of labour, they smelled of cigarettes and potting soil… saw dust and engine grease.
Those hands came and closed slowly over mine easing away the pressure of my tiny fingers now tipped with blood where my nails had partly broken the skin leaving red streaks through the tangled mess of sun bleached strands.

Strong arms lifted my body that felt too small… too fragile, like a hollow egg shell that has been pitted against a brick.
That was how I felt then just a shell trying to keep the world at bay.

I remember the dull sensation of eyes staring, burning into me as those strong arms cradled my shell the blur of red against the grey shirt that covered the chest that felt more like a mountain… a fortress that could hide me from the world.

There was no other sound to me then but the footsteps of my human fortress carrying my shell of a body out of the room as my pained sobs cut through the air and buried themselves deep in the psyche of every being there.

I knew somewhere in the back of my catatonic mind that I would never see that room again or the other children and their frightened glances that were always cast in my direction whenever I was caught speaking softly to the man that  paced the halls of our Sunday school.

I would never see the haggard face of our tired teacher, the horrible accusing look he always gave me when I insisted on the pacing mans existence before being sent to stand alone in the farthest corner of our class room.

We passed through the narrow doorway where above there hung a sign.
Fat sprawling letters written in a child’s hand so thickly coated in a smattering of different colored glitters… Jesus loves you.

I closed my eyes.
Nov 2013 · 1.4k
I saw a man
Sam Greig-Mohns Nov 2013
He was a strong man
a tall man
though his back was bent with age

He was a wise man
a kind man
with hair of silver grey

He walked with pride beneath each step
though his boots were caked with mud
his hands were worn with years of work
face brown and lined as a leather glove

He passed a man sitting in the street with his hands upon his knees
at his feet an old fishing hat and a sign that read help me please

Here the man did stop and stare when he might have passed him by
instead he got down on one knee as I looked on in awe

He took the stranger by the hands and looked him dead in the eye
Son, I've been in you shoes... please let me give you hope

Then into his pocket he did reach though not for a handful of change
instead he drew out a hundred dollar bill
wrinkled and lined with age
He pressed it into the strangers hands as tears came to his eyes

The kind man stood without a word
then vanished into the crowed
Aug 2013 · 791
Head banging with weeds
Sam Greig-Mohns Aug 2013
Dandelions thrash to the opening chorus of rattle clank by the chain links
yellow heads bobbing
tussled mops of white ****** back defiantly into the wind
until they lean against one another
exhausted and bald

Foxtails sway
feathered limbs thrumming
raised in the air like they just don't care
drumming to the beat of highway traffic
never alone
but gathered together in tight clusters
wary of outside influence

Thistles nod to smoother tunes
the conservative hemming in the edges
seeming almost out of place
until they throw down with their true colors
sporting mohawks in ever shade of purple

The show ends with deep shades of night
falling like a curtain to quiet the floral concert

Until dawn when the show goes on
Jul 2013 · 497
Just wait
Sam Greig-Mohns Jul 2013
Dragon lady

Wicked witch

flurry of names that come to mind as you set foot in my domain
disapproval of your glances snapping at my heels
as I glide past

inside there is a hissing chorus
drumming every nerve I've got
raging with this bitter hatred that would cause you to recoil

if you knew

behind the calm exterior
there's a bite like a rattle snake

hackles raised so stay away
back off
get out of my face

sooner then you'd like to think
there will be a day

when the choice will be between you and I
and lady, just a final word of advice

I'm here to stay
Sam Greig-Mohns Jul 2013
It's 3 am
again
I hate that word... again
it feels so certain
so absolute

that I might never sleep... again
see?
that's why I hate it
and the way the walls feel too close together
as though they could be listening

slowly compressing the doorway to the bedroom
so that it would be impossible to pass through

that I might never climb between the soft warmth of those covers
again...

thick carpet is curling up between my toes
tickling the tired soles of my feet as I pace

again

passing through the hallway towards the kitchen
lurking shadows of appliances of which the tasks seem to escape me
the gleam of lights on their many polished surfaces

strolling through the living room
open window letting in the night breeze to kiss against the skin I have not covered

again

I cross paths with the coffee table
narrowly avoiding its sleek edges that interject into my nightly obstacle course so stealthily

pausing in the single bathroom to admire
if only briefly
reflected light across her shoulders
curve of her back
down towards her waist and toes

the color of eyes in darkness
the shape of her face and nose

how sweet
how dark, mysterious
quiet, brooding
thoughtful that girl seems to be

depending on the time of night
light from the moon across her face

we meet again

again..
Jul 2013 · 693
There's a racist on the bus
Sam Greig-Mohns Jul 2013
It's always those ******* holding things up

sudden silence washed over the small space as destructive as a tidal wave
invisible until suddenly reaching the beach of onlookers to crash down on them with devastating force

no one wanted to look
or acknowledge the man with the hard eyes and steel colored hair who had hobbled awkwardly into their presence

his cane gripped tightly in one arthritic hand
knuckles rounded with swelling as though he were an unfinished sketch
disjointed collection of misplaced orbs holding together stick like limbs

though someone did dare to mutter some small comment under their breath in relation to the state of the world today

but it was small and quickly lost in the noise of grinding gears as the bus strained onwards

the fear that came was a strange tangible thing
a sound of everyone holding their breath
waiting, but not at once to turn and look as this old man grew into a monster in their minds

how they wished too
but would not dare to speak out against him for fear of being persecuted by his words

to be labeled
branded Jew lover

he spat and cursed as the bus labored to a stop
gnarled fingers gripping the seat in front of mine

offering a hand only to be greeted with that look of sheer contempt
as though touching my flesh might somehow contaminate his views with mine

silently watching as he struggled from the bus muttering obscenities
feeling only pity for his narrow minded way of life as our eyes met but once as we passed one another

ignoring the sudden outburst of angry noise from those around me
I pulled out my pen
Jun 2013 · 714
Tune unknown
Sam Greig-Mohns Jun 2013
I don't know what happens next
I've never danced this tune
the steps all feel so out of place
is it one left foot or two?

Through the fox trot
to the tango
maybe a waltz or two
I don't know what happens next
I've never danced this tune

Feel your hand around my waist
your voice close by my ear
Never fear I'm right here
please let me lead the way

We've come a ways with our sashay
Ballets and musicals
a better friend I've never had
then when I danced this tune with you
May 2013 · 783
Beat but not broken
Sam Greig-Mohns May 2013
Down in the dark
when the day feels to hard
the nights just to long
and there aren't enough stars

sleep just a few hours
drink to much caffeine
slip through the days
like water through sand

think of a letter I never did send
the words I missed saying
when I had the chance

keep walking along
my head in the clouds
much better up here
then down on the ground

down there lies my body
my battered heart too
but up here are my dreams
of a lifetime with you

the roads gave me blisters
the skies gave me tears
your hand gives me hope
that I'd lost over years

not so shiny and new
more battered and bruised
but my hearts not yet broken
it might still have some use

please handle with care
and treat it with love
promise you'll keep it
it's the only one that I have
Sam Greig-Mohns Mar 2013
The last picture I have of you in my mind was with blood on your lips
the way you smiled and told me not to be afraid
even though you were the one dying

How my hands felt too small as I tried to catch the life that was running out of you and put it back
but it just kept slipping through my fingers

My last memory of you was holding my hand as we walked together
not that we were in love
just because you were my friend and I liked knowing you were always right there

Telling stories about ghosts that dwelled in the halls of our school as we sat in detention together
for a fight we never started

When you rescued me
but all the teacher saw was you
with blood on your fist
and me
right there beside you

When you came to school with bruises
but still smiled

You fell at the park you would say and laugh
a laugh that made your eyes sparkle
like you read about in romantic books

But I knew

You never fell

You were the grace in my awkward silence of a life
you flew when I crawled, smiled when I could only look on in awe and wonder how
how the park was never the reason you came carrying your own pain as much as mine

Could still say you loved the man badly playing the part of a father
though really he was just a man that lived with your mother

When he was the reason you lied to our teacher
that you had fought with your brother
the reason you had come to me with an eye so black it was nearly shut

I never told you I knew you were an only child

I watched in awe of how you could love so intensly and completely that nothing ever touched your heart
not even when it broke your skin

I watched your life burn like a bonfire
beautiful and intense
you were the passion in everything

I was a candle flame beside your light
flickering with fear and doubt
but your spirit never dimmed
and your warmth gave me hope

Be strong you said
be brave and never afraid
like you always knew

Knew that the most passionate and brightest fires burn the fastest
like the kindness, love and acceptance we try so hard to learn in our candle flame lives
you always knew

Your fire loved everything
from the sunlight to the bruises
the rainy days
school yard fights
and my tears on your face

The harsh color of the blood on your lips
never could hold anything to the light of your flame

Don't be afraid said the bonfire to the candle
some day we all go out
Mar 2013 · 423
Promise
Sam Greig-Mohns Mar 2013
you asked
I smiled
my only answer
forever of course
Mar 2013 · 774
I'm dreaming or crazy
Sam Greig-Mohns Mar 2013
There were stitches up her leg
watching her walking slight ahead
crossing the street as the skin slowly pulled apart at her seems
transfixing crimson drops
they would fall slowly I thought

I blinked

Just a tattoo nothing more
the blood was gone, I looked away

She turned the corner, I waited for the bus
I watched the edge of her skirt disappear around it
like the coat tails of the white rabbit
looking down, eyes closed
what would that be like...?

A rabbit in a waistcoat skirted the edges of my thoughts
the wind teased cool fingers at the back of my neck

Feels like flying doesn’t it…

A disembodied voice chipping away at my daydream
I ignore it, instead conjuring a hole under my feet just like Alice

What is? my voice answered for me
another chip breaking away
I started down the hole

The wind… when it blows like that it feels like flying

I wished the voice would leave
I wouldn’t know I’ve never flown…

Neither have I…

I could hear the voice smiling
a crack of light broke through my daydream
I turned away from it catching a glimpse of blue coat tails just around the corner

Why is it like flying then?
another chip…

Why isn’t it?

Go away I thought bitterly
the bodiless voice laughed softly
cool air teased my neck, back of my shoulders
I heard the bus pulling up to the stop

Be seeing you then?

My daydream crumbled away into reality
I opened my eyes still looking down

No…
the only answer

Hmm… that’s too bad

Another pause
I looked at the bus doors opening to admit me

Well goodbye then… Alice…

It was smiling again
I shivered, turning to put a face on the voice
Dress it in something more then the sound of its smiling

No one, I stood alone with the breeze kissing my skin and smiled a little

Goodbye… Cheshire cat
Mar 2013 · 1.4k
My life as a backpack
Sam Greig-Mohns Mar 2013
I have pockets full of suffering
Stuffed to the brim with doubt
Enough tears to fill an ocean
But enough love to dry it out
I’ve walked a thousand miles with many pairs of shoes
Worn out all my zippers and learned to sing the blues

I’ve seen the tops of mountains
Watched rainbows kiss the sky
Felt the snap of a lightning crack
And earned all my patches too

I’ve held locks of lovers’ hair
Carried shame and pity too
Crossed the spaces on a map
Though on paper they were just an inch or two

I’ve listened to your whispers
Your admiration and your pride
How you can love every part of me
Even those I try to hide

You love my worn out zippers
My pockets full of fears
My heart held on with shoe strings
And the dirt earned over years

You told me I was beautiful
For all the things I’d seen

I told you, you were crazy
But keep talking anyways

I know I’ll settle down one day
When the world feels not so new

My threads will be much thinner then
And I’ll need some patching too

But I hope you’ll still think me beautiful
For all the things I’ve seen with you
Mar 2013 · 2.1k
Waiting room
Sam Greig-Mohns Mar 2013
Sitting in the world’s most uncomfortable chair as I readjust my seat for the sixth time… it seems to be a futile effort.
An overweight man in a grey jogging suit is walking in, his white shoes leave wet foot prints across the faded carpet as he crosses the room and begins taking up the chair opposite me with a heavy sigh as though he has walked a long distance though I can see his car through the half closed blinds.

I think the carpet used to be red, like the long carpets they use in the lineup to see Santa but now it is a muddy color… like the water one might use to rinse paint brushes after it has been used too much.

The woman beside me is wearing a faded floral print dress, she smells like garlic and is snoring softly a rumpled romance novel clutched in one hand as her head nods forward onto her chest.
I watch it rise and fall slowly for a few long moments before finally pulling my eyes away again and look towards the desk where the blonde receptionist is sitting.

Her hair is pulled back into a messy bun and there is a pen stuck in it to keep it in place, the pen is blue… or black I think but there is a red cap on it.
She is wearing those nurses’ scrubs they are a faded purple color with chains of daisies decorating them.  

I look past the blonde receptionist and her messy bun with the blue… or black pen with the red cap sticking out of it to the hallway with its bright lines of light and glossy floors.

Another woman is walking out of one of the doors, I can’t see it but I hear it close loudly in the silence, the woman beside me with the faded floral print dress jumps a little snuffling and grunting her dime store romance novel held up before her like a shield before she realizes it was just a door.

Just like the overweight man in the grey jogging suit as he to tries futilely to get comfortable in one of the world’s most uncomfortable chairs, I don’t think he has ever jogged… maybe he just likes the color.

The woman beside me is slouching a little further down in her chair... in another moment she is snoring again softly, I watch the woman who just came out of the unseen door.

She has a little boy with her, he is wearing black puddle boots and Spiderman pajama pants his coat is blue with black racing stripes down the back… he is tugging at the woman’s hand and saying something in another language.

She hushes him and turns back to the receptionist with the messy blonde bun, I watch as she reaches for the pen that is holding it in place… that one that might be blue or maybe black with the red cap on the end before she stops and picks up a black pen off the desk and writes something on a slip of paper before handing it to the woman.

She looks tired, her black hair is braided loosely and strands are falling into her face.
There are large dark circles under her eyes and she dressed in faded jeans and a grey windbreaker with the crest of a sporting goods store I have never heard of embroidered across the shoulder.

The boy is tugging at her hand again and as she turns to look at him she wearily sweeps her gaze over the rest of the room before she answers him.
Her voice is very soft with a practiced kind of patience most parents have, though I can’t make out her words I am sure they are also in another language that I do not understand.

I watch as they boy runs towards the door and pushes all his weight against it making a great show of his strength as the door slowly swings outwards and he leans back against it digging his boots into the muddy colored carpet as the woman follows him out.

The man in the grey jogging suit that has most likely never jogged before has gotten out of his world’s most uncomfortable chair and is eyeing the other still empty seats around him mentally trying to guess without having to walk over and try them which is the least uncomfortable.

He looks across to the woman beside me in the faded flora dress as she gives another snuffling murmur her fingers slowly letting the rumpled novel slip from them, it slides onto the floor and bounces before landing cover side up. Fields of Passion.

He looks at me and our eyes meet, I roll mine in a dramatic gesture of my opinion of the sleeping woman’s taste in reading... he smiles but says nothing and finally decided on another chair right beside the one he had before and sighs heavily as he settles himself into it.

I hear my name being called by the blonde receptionist with the messy bun held together by her blue or black pen with the red cap.
This time the snoring woman with the bad taste in novels doesn’t stir, the man in the jogging suit smiled a little as I pass him and I smile back before turning and disappearing down the hallway with the glossy floors and bright lines of light.
A totally dull moment made more interesting through super observance and creative story telling =)
Feb 2013 · 550
Wings of fire
Sam Greig-Mohns Feb 2013
Rage and sorrow gripped me then without ever thinking that in a moment I might inflict not just one but two black eyes on a boy that lived just down the street

Who I had, just the day before run and played with, laughed and joked while sitting on my grandmother’s front porch
In our hands tall cool glasses of different colored beverages, ice cubes bobbing

If time had frozen in that moment I might have had a chance to gauge the sudden surprise at my aggression
The cry of pain when my fist connected
Before he ran away

Looking down around my feet I took in the carnage of his deeds
The burnt up matches, those little boxes
And all those now dead butterflies

I recalled from half a block away
The flutter of light that had drawn me, with a twisted sense of irony
Only to watch with mounting horror

A tiny body
A flash of light
A smoldering of orange and white

I looked on for what seemed forever
Trapped by a cold mix of disgust and mourning
As he released that butterfly

Wings aflame it took to the sky
It was a cloudless summer night
A dancing candle, a tiny life
Sam Greig-Mohns Feb 2013
I watched you silently from my place amid the masses
As you sat alone on stage

Around you stood the empty chairs
Still awaiting instruments and bodies
But you didn’t seem to notice

Slowly drawing the bow across the strings
While fingers danced seemingly unaided

I sketched you then in my mind so that I might always remember the way your brow was furrowed
Hair astray in the fashion most expected by a being that has not slept in as many days as artists of unheard merit are apt to do

I traced the joints of your fingers curled around the dark wooden handle almost, but never touching the off white fabric that stretched between one point and the other

In my mind I found I could only liken you and your appearance to that of others I had only read of
All fictional of course

Here a wayward detective long since run down but never out sank his sorrows in a bottle while his mind fractured but still brilliant carried on

But then there were so many others that also came to mind, each tugging at the corners of my imagination with passionate desperation
Attempting in the only way they knew to be the sole capture of my attention

In this corner I found a journalist well traveled as he was versed, with the quality beseeching that of a gentleman hidden under two days worth of growth

But perhaps your likeness might be more suited to the air of a more scientific mind, secret genius cultivating cures for every kind of illness while still trapped in the depths of madness

I sat and watched as you played unnoticed for what seemed to me just a moment but was far more then that as my mind turned over the possibility of all the people you could have been

But when asked softly why didn’t I rise from my unnoticed place and put to rest my chaotic thoughts by moving close to speak to you if only for a moment

I resisted

What could I say to let them understand the path my mind had run
How I was unwilling to leave my seat, held there by this slight fear

That if I dared to find my voice, to rise and cross the space between the seats… to draw close enough that you might see me
All that I had imagined you to be would be crushed or somehow dulled by the harsh light of reality

You might not be a gentleman, suave and smooth with charm or reflect even a bit the madness of a scientist whose sanity has long since gone…
You might be so far from the truth that I’d never write this poem

So I sat silently in my place amid the masses

Watching you draw your bow across the strings while your fingers danced unaided
Feb 2013 · 286
Dear Life
Sam Greig-Mohns Feb 2013
Sometimes...

I don't like you very much

That is all
Jan 2013 · 614
I will never miss you
Sam Greig-Mohns Jan 2013
you are one I will never miss
I will never sit in the bathroom late at night and cry quietly because you are here
there will never be a moment in my life when I stop and wonder what has happened to you, or if you will return

you will never be given the chance to cage my heart or clip my wings
because I have already left you far behind

I will never have my words stolen by you
Or feel helpless because I can not escape you
I will fly higher and faster then you ever let me believe I could

you will never constrict my imagination of what is possible
Or draw lines in the sand I should not cross

your criticism will never silence me
for I am an artist
and you..

you are nothing
but my fear of failure
Jan 2013 · 414
Tick tock
Sam Greig-Mohns Jan 2013
I'm still awake

the clock is ticking its nearly six

I'm watching the numbers change slowly

one by one

were coming close to seven now

I blink and wonder where the time has gone

where that hour has gone

have I slept?

...no this is no dream
Sam Greig-Mohns Jan 2013
Kissed me on the playground

And again out in the street

Kissed me on her door step

And once more down on the beach

Another kiss at sunset

A secret one in the woods

A soft one in her bedroom before we went to sleep

She kissed me between her ropes and snares

She kissed me when I bled

She didn’t kiss me when I pleaded

Not even when I wept

I kissed her for her nightmares

I kissed her for her charm

Sadly she didn’t kiss me before I slipped from her arms

I still remember those kisses

And how my blood stained red the snow

But you’ll never find me back there

Not for all the sweet memories in the world
Sam Greig-Mohns Jan 2013
Hum... rattle, rattle
Lift eyes from the floor
Up through scratched windows

Who scratches windows?
Another fence

Hiss... doors open again
Uninterested...
Hiss... and closed

No time for your fellow man here
Wondering about those scratches still

Another passing, eyes on the floor
Interesting...
Far more so then them
Temporary companions

Another fence, with bars this time
Hiss... doors open again
...Strange
Hiss... and closed

Scratched windows pass by them
Seriously who scratches windows?

Unkempt yards, barking dogs
More temporary companions

This is my stop
Eyes still on the floor
Uninterested

Hiss... doors open once more
Eyes leave the floor finding only ground
Hiss... and closed again

Scratched windows passing by
Still no answer for that
Hum... rattle, rattle
Jan 2013 · 428
Word kisses
Sam Greig-Mohns Jan 2013
its not your words exactly
more like the way they touch my skin
like fingers in my hair

its listening to your voice whispering
makes everything ok again

all those little things you do but never notice
things I count like stars, beautiful

your words touch like kisses against my skin
only matched when I can press my self into your arms

I'd like to return your kisses
whisper soft romance that would make the stars blush

please keep them
until we are together again

I promise I have all of yours
come closer and I'll tell you what it feels like

everything will be ok
you'll understand

I love you
but there no need to say it

you already know
your soft words tell me so
Jan 2013 · 381
The world replied
Sam Greig-Mohns Jan 2013
The time that passed between the moments
Of when you looked in my direction
But I again glanced away unseen
Your words whispered in the late of night
While I all knowing waited, silent and observing
Until once again I see you return
Across my horizon
Aug 2012 · 1.2k
A frozen moment
Sam Greig-Mohns Aug 2012
it was just that
one second
a single moment in time
but it stood still
perfectly endless
and the way the world looked
at least to me
changed
every out of place hair
was for just one moment
perfect and beautiful
like ripples in a river
totally unnoticeable
except
right then
I wanted to catch it
and live in that second for a week
but it was gone
while I stood still
frozen
by the beauty
of a single second
Aug 2012 · 549
I watched
Sam Greig-Mohns Aug 2012
the clock
beside the door
always to keep me on time
now seemed to stop
with my heart
in tune
with the internal mechanism
that was yours
now stopped
by this knock on my door
later when asked
able only to recall
faceless men
in grey
and their words
to me
that you were no more
Jul 2012 · 977
A hero never more
Sam Greig-Mohns Jul 2012
There’s a moment to every story

When the prince doesn’t come to save the damsel
The dragon can’t be defeated

And the threads of lies the witch wove
Grow stronger instead of breaking

When chivalry has long since past
And the mourners leave only dying flowers
At a grave that was never there at all

Because no one cared enough
To stop and drag its lowly carcass from the road side
Before the ravens came a pecking

Pecking, pecking
All the while calling in their harsh laughing voices
Never more

Like feathered boogey men to steal away what was never ours
Except in dreams and fairytales

While sprawling trails of ink on paper attempt to record
Every step in a hero’s journey
Without ever stopping him in warning

Of the ravens all the while waiting
With cries of never more
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