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 Jan 2014 Sam Conrad
iridescent
I am clueless as to how I have dug a hole in this concrete ground, 60 feet deep. The dust I’ve been choking on does not bother me no more, layers piling upon my lungs like snow upon an exposed carcass. The slightest upheaval of my chest and tingling in my lungs reminds me that I still breathe. I’ve met scaffolds of bones down here. As I stare into their hollow sockets, I could never figure if they were ever esurient for something I held. They taught me how the ocean is never blue but only a de facto reflection of the sky. They said many mistook the sea for the sky, but never once mentioned the salt that contaminated their lungs-  the impetus that drove their feet 60 steps into the waves. A reconciliation it must have been. I doubt it made any difference, when their hearts were bleeding out; a pity it doesn’t make it any lighter. Down they sank.

I wonder if I mistook these soils for the sky. As I looked up, I realised that the sky only seemed further away. There’s something peculiarly comfortable down here, the little bumps on the walls and contours of the craters looked like jawlines of a new-found friend. The sun is so blindingly high in the sky. I preferred how sometimes I could see the man in the moon- shadows cast by imperfections on the moon’s surface. In the vague moonlight and scrawny silhouettes, the fact that the moon always has a dark side makes it tangible a thousand miles away. Sometimes, I lay on this wooden receptacle discovered upon excavation and gaze at the empty skies with my friend as he tells me what lies outside this trough. Happiness is a pack of hungry wolves and when they are done, you are left with only your marrows. I see things clearer down here, than above where they are smothered by smoke from the trees they burned to the ground. Sometimes the skies are dark with no hint of dusk, sometimes the sky is filled with white nebula; but most of the times, the days are shorter than the nights. But it never gets any darker down here.

I figured I could never mistake this hole for the sky. I was just chasing these broken pieces like I used to chase happiness. I have no idea how I’ve gotten this deep while trying to pick up these pieces that I don’t recognise. But the struggle tells me it’s real, and the pain keeps me awake. They say if you spend enough time with someone, you will fall in love. I guess that’s what happened between sadness and me.

I’m staying here.
 Jan 2014 Sam Conrad
Marian
Lighting up the night
Your light shines across the waves
Guiding other ships

*~Marian~
Random inspiration!!! (: ~~~<3
Hope you enjoy it!!! :) ~~~~<3
© Marian All Rights Reserved
I am so broken,
Impossible to heal.
I try to be good for you
but I'm drifting from the wheel
I've lost control to take your sympathy
It doesn't even feel real
I'm crying so hard I can't even feel
what I'm supposed to feel

I'm numb, and you broke me
I need to sleep until I die
I need to dream to stop the crying
 Jan 2014 Sam Conrad
Alicia
Fronting
 Jan 2014 Sam Conrad
Alicia
We never had a sexless fantasy.
A bond so unreal.
I have seen your body naked,
no clothes underneath those sheets.
Your purest form.
I let you get more
than a glimpse of me.
You took in all of me. To take your
smooth palm and caress my curves,
I have never been so comfortable.
Our bodies needed each other.
Our souls were destined to meet.

It has been a long time since we've spoken,
since we touched.
No romance, no lust.
You are, now, a stranger
to me. Being
in each other's presence
feels like meeting for the first time.
I used to
be able to
look in the mirror and see
you -- with me.
I am, now, left to wonder
when will be the next time
we meet.
*82413
Twitter: @the_monAlicia
Audio: soundcloud.com/liciii/fronting
 Jan 2014 Sam Conrad
hkr
if you deleted my number
it would hurt more
than every ****** thing
put together
and here's why

when i broke down on you
in february
i said i was just another girl
and you told me no,
you were you and i was me
and right then
we mattered
not as a unit, but as people
separate entities

here's the catch
you said ten, fifteen years from now
sure -- i might be just another girl

it's only been two
two years
if you started blurring me together now
with the other people who are just
taking up space
in your memory

i
think
i'd
die.
and the worst part is i'd never know.

you could get away with ******.
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