These are quotes of actual signs in around where I live.
Enjoy them all.

Local curry house in there window:

Try our curry.
You will never get better.

If you have any more let me know.
Thank just this man called Paul.

Take a look at my hands
Today at work
I saw a man fall in the hall
I rushed of to see what was wrong
He was not breathing so I went to CPR
Now I feel like a accident, nothing there, nothing at all
DE FIB would not go off
Sorry to say he was dead before hitting the floor himself.