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Sal Gelles Nov 2012
you've cut up your past
into tiny fragments
for the detailing of a future
that's now your assignment.
something you're figuring out
that isn't so predictable,
when your entire life
all your guesses were ridiculed.
as they fit together
to form something new
you're seeing there's still some bits
that feel like they're missing you.
to amend this situation,
you pick up the phone
and make a few calls
and see how things have been at home.
but nobody's answering
and nobody's calling back
i've figured it's better to live life
than to ever want to lack
it's a feeling
and soon it's healing
but the scars exist
and you can't resist
the facts of life you've realized, you're realizing, and have yet to have this grand realization that nothing's perfect.
*perfection was a theory they never perfected.
Sal Gelles May 2013
everything, at one point, is destroyed,
and chaos ensues.

as it all begins spinning, spiraling, and spitting out the imagery
of everything that it ever has been, is being, or began
we can see where this is all heading for all
although hardly any want to admit
that we're all heading down
to the similar idea
of what we
call the
Sal Gelles Jul 2014
i was alpha,
creating the beauty
set before my own eyes,
built with my own hands;
it was the beginning.

i fell to omega,
destroying my beauty,
not by my own hands,
but those of men in time;
it was then the end.
Sal Gelles Apr 2013
completely true
yet slightly fabricated
the life you're living
isn't the one you'd imagined
so now you try and try
harder and harder
to change the way you are,
the person you've become, now,
just won't allow it;

you can't teach an old dog new tricks.
Sal Gelles Nov 2014
I just need reminded
this isn't what I dream of
and I have to keep dreaming
through each day
and soon, the dreams
can manifest themselves
in my work, in my mind,
in my actions, and in time
I can start living them.
Sal Gelles Jul 2013
outside ourselves:**

in the few, brief moments,
staying inside the outer edge
of this webbing we've woven
for the the sake of this game
that's created in itself.

for the spider,
as he calms the tension
across his line
as the wind blows,
swaying him sideways.
driven practically by survival
hopeless in a world made by others
he's getting caught-up in his own web;
he's never seen,
but not seeing through just his lenses
that cover the top of his head.

over, calmed now,
the tension's applied tenderly.
the treacherous passing of past
passer-bys past his masterwork,
the unluck ones
only eaten, digested,
and then forgotten.
horrifically in complete sync
with the idealism
that had dulled
every subjective idea he'd had,
the spider found what he'd needed;
some calming peace and serenity.
From the 'Memory Books:'  "Vol. 4, Speculation on this Perspective (and possible prospects)"
Sal Gelles Mar 2013
out here, on the roads, we're redemption awaiting our realization.
in here, i'm dead, lost out on the highway, bleeding immensely.
there's a life to be had driving these days and nights,
but i'm here, sitting, watching them all pass by and dreaming.
hardly sleeping, hardly breathing, carcinogenic life,
before a carcinogenic death; nobody wants my organs, they're cancerous.
i'm dreaming, again; in here, i create reality, and after all, isn't it a creation of our minds?
out there, there's people passing, clashing, and making their ways.
in here, i'm working, dreading the deadline i've set for myself;
working from home, working alone, all on a dream we're dying to dream again.
wearing down the weary mind i've got to make your dreams another reality.
like i've said, it's a creation we're all working on
so why am i the only one doing the work for the reality you're dreaming of?
*i'm dying, again; out there, i'm nothing but a dot on a map, drawn out to be a lead in some play.
Sal Gelles Feb 2013
another slip
of the tongue
and it's a world of hell.
tasted purification
elongated salutations
to the people; dead
and walking shells.
burnt out
turnt about
for display purposes only.
and you're not allowed to look.
Sal Gelles Sep 2012
dragged out of bed by the beating of my blood through my eardrums,
then pushed back into the deep corner of my mind by the drumming in my head,
this idea's progressing to a level higher than the mountaintop it was conceived on.

as it draws itself out in the stars; by my fingertips pointed heavenward,
the picture completes itself with the slightest adjustments of my mind,
and produces somewhat of an opus to be driven and dragged out upon.

killed in its final instances, it's death brings renewed life;
rebirth only gets to those who really ever let it mean something important,
and as we give purpose to our purposeless lives, i see what you're awakening to as a con;
a deception not of the hands that were supposed to belong to somebody else, but of my own.
Sal Gelles Dec 2012
she laughs and my stress dissipates.
her love's taken my hate away
and replaced it with another feeling to anticipate;
the warmth in my heart heats me
even after she's left me here in bed,
dreaming of her more and more.
awaiting my awakening to her
in the cold darkness of my room
just one day sooner than anticipated.

this anticipation's leading to frustration,
although it's creating a deeper longing,
and this is where i know i've been belonging;
her love's my home, and i'm her house.
only built on the sands of shifting time,
sturdy and stronger daily as the shift comes closer
to sliding us deeper and deeper in love.
i anticipate the deepness of love; it's where i belong.
Sal Gelles Apr 2014
to blame this
on anyone but myself
would be a catastrophe;
shattering what's left
of humanity.
Sal Gelles Nov 2012
shine on, you perplexed ruby red light; shined on for your years of ambiance, and now the shine's seemingly dulled.
as the illuminated street signs show you the way out of your own head and into the house where you'd rather sleep all day than clean, read or create; illustriousness never held much of a hold on the mind you've let burn into a pile of carbonated waste.
in the silence you've surrounded yourself in, you've found that there's too much going on in your own head for anything to ever be quiet, so you scream.
as the death of another loved one fills your heart with sorrow and pain, there seems to be a new reason to figure this one out on your own; there was nothing you'd missed over the years, but you've always seemed to ignore the social ques and questions you knew felt needed left unanswered.

in light, there is darkness.  and in darkness there is light.  it's all a matter of perspective.
Sal Gelles Nov 2012
out of sorts
and sorted out;
in senses of shorts
and shorted for love.

caught in life
as i fell to death
to be caught stealing
your heart and your head
from the skin you'd held them in.
now they're caught up in me
and they're catching on;
i'm hardly thinking,
bleeding, and breathing.
i'm living.  imbalanced.
Sal Gelles Apr 2013
hours of isolation in quiet company,
                                                       ­    though, they never seem to appear
                                       as much to your eyes
                                                            ­                 as they have to mine.
                                        *the humming of the television,

                                                    ­                                   dully lulling the visions in the mind
                                       into the shapes
                                                                ­         they're made for;
                                                          ­    searching synapses and relapses
                                                         for just another answer to the mystery
                                                         ­                                                                 ­    to what's going on,
                       here in my dreams.
                                                         ­     the company stays after i've left,
                                                           ­   as they find it comfortable there,
                                                          ­            stuck; subconsciously
                                                ­                     segregating themselves.
as if they were all asleep while i walked about for hours, awake.
Sal Gelles Oct 2012
welcomed to the idea, once again
by the cool calling that lead me,
barely heard, and hardly felt,
yet, still coercing enough for this.
so i decided to attempt it,
an attempt made at nothing,
when reality says it was something,
as i digress, it was nothing,
and again, it was something
though i'll never name it
what it should be called
because it has a
aspirations brought about
by perspiration and an inclination
that, again, it would be okay
to try and make sense of something
that i've wanted before
and want again.
Sal Gelles Jun 2013
feed yourself the beautiful dream
one brain wave at a time
so as not to choke on its entirety
or have to suffer anymore.

the entire vibrato you've used
is getting you nowhere, you see.
but soon, you'll be able
to say you're not on the streets to score
another fix
another mix
of chemical endurance
and obliteration

step on up, and read the sign
there's nothing left here
just as it was when your father walked
from one end to the other, feverishly.

we're dying out left and right,
but you're sure to make it,
i swear it, i've seen it,
and i'll make it all a reality
*based on dreaming
shaped from cleaning
of the mind
and its impurities.
Sal Gelles Oct 2012
you began a man in your uniform
uniformly lined in manhood
but unmanned in your last line of defense
the soldier, bleeding in his solidarity.

his head held down by the weight of his thoughts
and his heart held high by his idealism
in this century, he bleeds for your sins
and you, bleeding for the sinners.

bleeding for the sinners.

bleeding from the cinders; burning holes in your flesh from the fire you'd put out in a last-ditch effort to save the "smokey the bear" imagery from your childhood.

didn't you know it'd burn down too
as you dreamt of being an adult
in this distant, futuristic adulthood
where you'd be bleeding out again.

not forming in singular lines
not forming anything but time
in the singular exsanguination of a generation;
they're bleeding for your singing.

bled out and torn about, they die.

dreaded and thrown about in the last ditch efforts of life, they cry out again to the demi-gods and goddesses they believed in for your sins.

they bleed.

Sal Gelles Oct 2014
we can't stop our hearts from beating,
our lungs from breathing, so why
try and stop our minds from thinking?
they can destroy us once they're
overclocked and overloaded,
over-simplifying complicated situations.
we still try to forget ourselves,
and how they're always there,
but it's inevitable, atomic,
how time moves us, but we cannot move time,
only by falsifying hands tracking
secondary measurements, little ticks
that eventually drive us mad.
not with anger, but with sadness,
time slips, and we slip with it
back to innocence, perseverance ensues,
and we soon see how time changes
without our hands in the clock.

you can take your hands off the gears now,
and keep the time set where it was,
and before you know it,
that too shall pass.
passing time without reason or rhyme.
Sal Gelles Aug 2017
irrepressible satiated purpose/followed by volcanic mental expansion
littler impression/prose out of poignancy/ambiguity and alterations
         explicative social media outrage/FAKENOOSE
   entitled generations of disenfranchisement and grandiose foresight
placeless outrage and fitful penniless homelessness/losses of hope/dreams deadened by the deafening sounds desire

                                wanting more only gave me less
                                                    for you anyway.

                 i'm sorry there wasn't enough to go around the first time.
Sal Gelles Jan 2014
that dissident, bitter taste,
left in perfect circles,
circling keyboard and mouse,
cooking themselves down
to partisanship; put into words,
burnt bottom coasting,
blackened death enticing
as each sip brings on
another cigarette,
more anxiety,
and less objection
to the jazz spewing from my fingers.
Sal Gelles Oct 2013
still and iridescent,
yet, motionless,
seen, heard;
out of principle

to spread something you can't quite scrape across your face enough to show emotion;
unable to find words to use properly to ever say
what it is that haunts your beautiful mind.
Sal Gelles Mar 2013
dreading the moments here in silence
and spreading this infection further;
sooner than expected, silence becomes
the music i need tonight, up until now.
the day had wrought out from the inside
and now i devise a new escape plan
where i can rely on my debatable qualities
and where i make it out, somehow.
Sal Gelles May 2014
suffer and god-speed,
as you spend time, hastily,
spending life's duality,
separated justly in increments
as needed; thusly,
subjected and fermenting,
boldly going where none have gone before.
*******, spock
Sal Gelles Nov 2013
Unspoken adoration
for strength I can't see in myself,
that I see in you everyday,
and it builds, stronger and stronger.
I know if I couldn't hold myself up
you'd be glad to pick me up
and take me home,
and wash me off; revitalize me.
I can't see how you feel so vulnerable
and misunderstood,
when I've been watching,
silently, as you struggle to see it yourself.

*And as I struggle to ever get your attention enough to really tell you how remarkable you are.
Cases of beer costing $50, cartons of cigarettes, half-gone half-gallons of bourbon, and silence is all I was hoping for lately.  The dreams over, and I'm left still dreaming that one day all the right words will come back to me.
Sal Gelles Dec 2012
i can't be racist
if i can't be free
i can't be vicious
if i just can't be
so i choose my sights
and i show my way
i'll take my flight
and hide away
from the darkness
that's calling me
it's dangerous
and it's me who sees
the detrimental life
that's dragging us along
without a price
on any other song
that i've written
and that i've sung
that i've been
and when i've begun
to let this all fall
to the floor at your feet
as you find the call
that's calling defeat
of the soul
of the mind
of the cool
waste of your time
so open your eyes
and see what i do
nothing left to disguise
but what thought you knew.
Sal Gelles Oct 2012
you'd had me at hello,
and i knew it was a show
from the opening number
to the closing curtains;
you weren't acting though.

you were harboring something
and you couldn't really tell me
what the plot finalized in
as it came out in your expressions;
it all made sense in time.
Sal Gelles Oct 2012
you'd based this off a time
when you had the life
that you'd always imagined
but never let really happen
any breaking of what it was
and you know it's all because
of the way you'd carried yourself,
acting as if you'd never needed help
just being.
never living what you were meant to live as; the fates have been quite angered.
Sal Gelles Dec 2013
bathing can’t get me clean.
what you dumped on me
won’t come off with soap,
bleach, or gasoline.  
i’m fading  out of focus,
losing sight of my self
as what you've put on me
consumes, corrodes,
and entirely consumes
what was left of self-imagery.
sure, it was never sterling,
and it certainly wasn't gold,
but I at least had faith left
in most parts of my character.

now i’m just rusting away,
and soon they’ll come to start demolition.
leave little notes to linger in the mail
leave letters unwritten to wander your mind
leave songs ringing in the halls
and leave me alone, you're gone for a reason
Sal Gelles Sep 2012
and as you forget who i was, i remember who i am
and as i remember, you continue to forget
but i don't blame you for it; i was a horrible person.
at the same time, in the same sense, you were too.
Sal Gelles Oct 2013
I'm sure I don't need another drink tonight,
seeing as I've consumed my fairer share
of spirits, fermenting grains, and *****.
I just can't have another tonight and I dare
try and not spill it out the way it went down,
as it's finally settled in, and I feel it all now.
It's sinking in, and the intoxication's bound
to drown me in something more than sorrow.
In fact, I may have another, but probably again tomorrow,
same time, same place, as per usual.  You should know me by now.
Sal Gelles Jan 2013
there's a lie through the ages
that we're all doomed to a similar end
but when you've seen the end of it all
and think all your time is spent,
you'll see the time's spending less on you
and more on its own reconstruction,
restitution, and resolution for another second
spent out in the night screaming that it's
midnight.  there's no time left for today.
Sal Gelles Oct 2012
was he what you'd dreamed?
were you dreaming?
what'd you find when you awoke?
are you still in that lucid state?
how did you not wake up during the thunderstorm?

it rained all night and crashed in all around us, and you just slept right through the whole thing, without the slightest clue about what was true, what i knew, and what you still had to choose.
Sal Gelles Oct 2012
on the brink of a river, there's plenty to see
on the brink of insanity, there's only me
and as i fall forward, i don't put my hands out
and as i hit the ground, i know what and why this came about.
Sal Gelles Nov 2012
in the morning, i remember her face
as she slept on my arm that had slept
all through the night with her
while i lay awake wondering;
where i was taking my life
where i was going to end up
where i was, belonging to the night.

the sun spanned her shoulder
through the cracked window pane
and split a beautiful ray on her tattoo
the bird, so colorful;
where i kissed her last night
where i missed her subtleties
where i knew i wanted to rest
where she was in her dreams, i couldn't contest.
she said love again
except this time i felt it go through me.
she said she meant it
and i felt her soul touch mine; exquisitely.
she said she wouldn't leave
and in the morning, stayed on my arm.
she said it was meant to be
and i knew she was telling not just me;
she meant this more than my cigarettes, coffee, and crullers meant to give me cancer.
Sal Gelles Oct 2014
I built myself up
in comfort
and in closeness
to the idea
I wouldn't have to feel
the ways I used to.

Now I build up
of books
and others' ideas
to pass times
I can't comfort myself

with the way I am now.
Time can change everything
Even the value of the change in your pocket
Sal Gelles Aug 2013
undeniably vast and gracious
the life ahead is better than that behind;
filled with moments of variety,
various times make various memories.
we're left with the best to remind us of the worst.
Sal Gelles Feb 2014
driven by self glorification,
built on altruism, untrue
in every sense of self,
losing touch as you lose your mind.
Sal Gelles Jul 2015
My dreams are getting better
so I must be as well.
My streets getting cleaner
so the world must be too.
My ‘self’ is getting stronger
so my mind has to.
My ideas still aren’t coherent
so I don’t think I should be.
Sal Gelles Mar 2013
the slight imperfections
play off the light
as you're enlightened;
i see through these cracks
in the facade you're covered in.

the simplest idea
pulls me in again
towards the destruction;
we're bleeding through, now,
as we're drained of our safety.

the farthest reach
was felt across the span
of time and space again;
through the mind's eye
we still blind ourselves to love.

these masks we wear are cracked and exposing vital spots to the ugliness in our character.

we just can't break our act.
Sal Gelles Mar 2018
pieced panel ceiling-aloof, unaligned/
broken bottle drunk neck.

loose leaning retribution-painful and stern/
paradise as senial.

enigmatic electric violense-warmer, lonelier/
painted process of elimination.

aromatic angular pilot-slim and simple/
stupid half-witted brain.

faraway friendship-slightly stable/
hopes for the future.

obediently originating psalms-studied and preferred/
crack-*** simplification.

readied and reticulated-never worried/
worn'd through and through.

satiable sanctity-calm, cool/
collecting mindfully.

angular and semiconductive-angles, man/
prospective deafness.

nuisance noose brain-heavier still/
cloud nine.

fragmented head.

trivial temptation-fighting demons again/
old moldy records.

youth in riot-pure and satanic/
enslaved and emboldened.
Sal Gelles Nov 2012
caught in the burning of somethings you'd owned
in your masochistic daze you're loved by none
and you're loved by the only thing that's ever mattered
the incessant beatings you'd taken by yourself;
for yourself, you let them go on, like you couldn't stop
and now you're just lighting your whole life on fire
and lighting the way to an early grave, enslaved
by the nicotine staining your fingers, draining your lungs
of sweet, succulent oxygen, openly displaced by carbon monoxide
and yet there's only blackening and death on the inside.

this has to be cut-out or you're just going to end up on another page; immortalized for your love of something choking you to death; deadened from the disease you couldn't ****.
Sal Gelles Oct 2012
you've never told me how you felt
in any form of honesty
when i asked was for you to honestly
explain yourself after it all happened
but you'd just left me in ignorance.
so, i sat down and worked it all out
and i came up with a few things
that i'm beginning i actually know
about what it is you really want
and how to get it all for you.
there's some things i have to ask of you
before i can start fulfilling your wishes
before they've filled you with hope
of the empty desires we've discussed
that you've been complaining about
in your own sublime ways;
and, subliminally, have changed my thought pattern.
Sal Gelles Dec 2013
There's something about reading your tongues that keep me entranced;
that I know, but you will surely deny, as denial is your self-hatred.
You'll pass the time in every day finding new ways to fulfill it,
and once you've come to another ultimate conclusion, you'll leave
all of it up to somebody else to configure.
Sal Gelles Oct 2012
my goddess dies each dawn
with the rising of the sun
and is reborn; renewed
in the sick, slighted
mannerism she awakens.

even with noticeable differences
the sky projects her face
as she lightens my burdens
and burdens my nights
with her glowing.

this shining has come for time
that it's been needed
where i've stood; judged
for the sinful mannerism
of my paganism.

but you're lost in the twilight;
in the middle of the night
that day will break the dark
and again, you'll see.

i've never needed any light
for my goddess is here;
she's been for ages
and she will be
once i'm gone.
Sal Gelles Apr 2014
heavy concentration in time's
essence, foiled by delights,
intransigent by the world.
lost in paternal void
to fulfill some design
of desire, desolate.
Sal Gelles Sep 2012
you completely lost sight of what was sighted in for you
i know you're thinking of the target; your aim's just still not true
your rifle's steady, ready, but your hands are still too shaky
you let the hammer fall after you squeeze the trigger and i just let it be
but you weren't aiming for what i told you it was seasoned for
and you're still a little loose on gaining any floor
out here in this wild conundrum of life; living
out here dealing what's dealt; giving
out here completely oblivious; obviously
out here naked; grievously

godspeed my friend,

you'll need it as we're nearing this end.
Sal Gelles Dec 2012
saints and secrets
created over the span of a life
written down and read aloud
to make it valid; it's crowded
in here, where we're living
day in and day out, in our heads.
we seek escape; there's enough here
to feed the whole brain.
i think i'd rather let it starve
after the last time i watched it fill up
on the ideas they'd lead me into believing
and how they ate what was left
when i was just trying to prove i was right.

there's nothing left to prove here
they've made their points,
and they're making it poignant
that there's nothing left in their points.
once i begin pointing any of it out,
i'm the one who's a heretic
and i'm the one who's corrupting
the true imagery they're trying to paint
in the canvas of everyone's minds.

blank, white, and pure at birth,
filled in over age with the brush strokes
and the colorization that's found
in nature as naturally we create
the world we see, how we see it, and why.
tell anyone what's right and what's wrong
and you're telling just another lie.
you're the artist, and your interpretation's lingering
as you tell me about the way you've painted the sky,
they way you've painted your life,
and the picture you're painting,
well, it's getting darker and cracking with age.

as you wander about the museum,
you'll find them; saints and secrets.
hidden in each piece of art, you're painting
the pictures you're seeing in your own mind
and as they fade into memory,
they're pointing themselves towards you;
introvert and reveal you're findings.
nothing but secrets you'd kept from yourself,
as well as the sainthood you'd been seeking,
redemption for the belief you let yourself believe.
and here i am, the heretic.
Sal Gelles Nov 2012
caught up in the anxiousness following me
around the aisles of this store
and here i stand, typing and writing,
finding this all to be just another bore
into the wooden frame i'm supporting my soul with.
Sal Gelles Nov 2012
i'd go back to sleep
just to dream some more
and wake up in the morning
a little extra sore
from the tossing and turning
that went on the night before
but when i'm dreaming
i'm lost inside my own core
and i feel the sights i've heard of
as if they weren't just folk lore
and i hear the feelings i've seen
exhibited on your front door
and i see the sounds you're emanating
coming through the floor
as you wake up yourself
in the afternoon around quarter til four
you find i'm not here
i'm just dreaming anymore.
Sal Gelles Apr 2014
drink, drank, drunk
into submission,
a fact; death awaits.
inevitability flows into
at the end of a six-pack.
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