so intense it moves from my body to yours
finally you understand
finally, finally, i made something for myself.
because when you're waiting for the right moment you're usually waiting on someone else.

backyard looking a little dead
phone looking like i was left on read

how th e fu ck am i supposed to pick up these leaves
when my hand is twea k ing from this coffee

my fence is 10 feet tall
if i see your stupid *** head

i might grab the rake
and if my phone rings again

some silence might be what we need

undercover for the next month-i'm trying to hide
please dont come looking
unless you really promise to be by my side

ok update everyone! convinced myself i might have type 2 diabetes for the night because my uncle died of it when he was 40 and i was 4. i can't remember age 0-4 and i think it might be because it was so traumatic to loose someone that cared about me that instead i erased the fact a person ever existed. i used to think that if something happened to you when you were young it doesn't count because you would be too young to even remember it. its 20 years later and i am starting to remember. remembering hurts.

too little too much, i write next to you, your shoulders touch me , but you would never touch me. i heard the music starting to spike, i wish i could rewrite, the way we met, so it was just in my head. it was worth it, around 80 degrees, overworked every time, the ac went out last week. i see straight up, i decided the ceiling looked better, when the floor fell out, from under you.

and i havent felt this wayyyyy
in someeee days
and i need you again
just to breathe
feel normal again

meet me in the middle again
before i send that text
felt the worse in my breath again

i found you a few different ways
in a few different men
if i dare say  
and ill cry through the night while you hold me tight
because i found my favorite song
it makes me think of you all day