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Apr 2019 · 114
a roof over my head
saint Apr 2019
feeling intense
and missing out
one let to the other
and your more practical than before
but you forgot what it is like to not make sense
reversed it when you could've just leaned to the left
and on the left to the right and gone full circle

the house you dreamed about, was just a memory, and its harder to find. its not even for sale, let alone on the market.

and i know its hard but its where you are.
maybe eventually, maybe one day, maybe a wednesday or a thursday, it will feel like a home again.
but only practically
Apr 2019 · 127
indifference
saint Apr 2019
i never shared my songs with you, but i tried so hard to stay above it. To not want it, like I wanted you. To heal and love again. But who is there to love again? I've been writing poems again. Hearing your voice in my head again. Thinking about what or if could've been. Not worth the pain again. But its been so long. And I've been out of luck and out of love again. So monotoned again. Hoping you'll come back home again.

Although I'm not sure where home is, again.
one too many
Apr 2019 · 87
self titled
saint Apr 2019
thought you were interested in the work
is it my talent or me?
the agenda is immature

i thought we were there for each other
i knew we would grow apart
who am i kidding
it was a no win situation.

but im still going to win
and thrive
and dive deep into my ideas,
only to never stop trying.

i will carry on, regardless.
always on my own- its better this way.
Apr 2019 · 86
the cut of my heart
saint Apr 2019
we fell in love
racing toward the sky
left me on the earth
looked me in my mind
felt between the thighs
make me understand why
so what do you think?
Apr 2019 · 76
this is SO fucked up
saint Apr 2019
i cant believe this
i love you
not who i thought
but who i am

to dance around in circles
im getting straight to the point
you care about the graze of a look
and the touch of the skin

but i never cared who you are
only what came between the if buts and whens
cold war
Apr 2019 · 106
online journals
saint Apr 2019
this makes me feel
you make me red with anger
for no reason
beside an annoyance
like a pest on my shoulder
but you didn't even say a word
i couldnt keep it closed
im not mad that I met you

but im mad that I met you
whats left now
saint Apr 2019
not trying to talk too much
but i think i said too much
chopped and *******
Apr 2019 · 101
logged calls
saint Apr 2019
"awesome! Glad you guys got it figured out"

"hahahaha no worries! I'll be home late tonight!!!!"

"This is great! Release a way"

"Wherever you want me to be? Can I come over?"

"Oh man."

"I hope I can see you when I come back!!"

"Take all the time."
Mar 2019 · 141
can i get just...something
saint Mar 2019
looking for something
returning with nothing
ripped sleeves and ****** knees

i was hoping for a moment of your time, and it looks like instead I got the blue laced face that showed up in your head.

it all happened one night,
and you know who you are.
you can go back to blue and ill stay red
saint Mar 2019
and i didn't even want it
throw it in the trash just to flaunt it

point it out and run it out
talking so loud, turn it down

i used to have a pack
traded it in for a band and then some

no use for all that when your something great
look back and laugh
Mar 2019 · 84
Untitled
saint Mar 2019
were all doing too much
and sleeping too little
the clocks running out
and im not sure what we'll become
but i can only hope for the best

keeping my eyes above sea level
was never what i wanted
Mar 2019 · 239
a million tabs open
saint Mar 2019
opening to the good
closing to the past
not forgetting
but giving myself space

I have too many tabs open
for my soul to regulate
dont let it fall over
Mar 2019 · 87
passing through
saint Mar 2019
more to talk about
till we laugh it out
i make you feel something
but i'm not going to stay

no, you don't understand where i've been running from
i couldnt make you if i tried
saint Mar 2019
and i havent felt this wayyyyy
in someeee days
and i need you again
just to breathe
feel normal again

meet me in the middle again
before i send that text
felt the worse in my breath again

i found you a few different ways
in a few different men
if i dare say  
and ill cry through the night while you hold me tight
because i found my favorite song
it makes me think of you all day
and i could write on the floor all night about this
Mar 2019 · 170
a little backwards
saint Mar 2019
side by side
perfectly in line
to make the circle
around my head
in outspace
with diamonds in my eyes
and a price on my tongue
my numbers too high
the dual tones
and my vision is unseen
right in between
there aren't even lines
not letting it go
Feb 2019 · 200
the cycle
saint Feb 2019
process is progress is product
working through it
Feb 2019 · 175
a note on over extending
saint Feb 2019
on here i tend to let it spill out, until i figure it out
but today i realized that if everything is too much
that i should listen instead of taking on something else

if you cannot commit your best, then whats the point
and if you cannot give yourself some love, then whats the point

better to work hard, than work busily
and better to give something love and watch it grow
i wish this on everyone <3
saint Feb 2019
and we fall in love
cherries in the groves
lime sugar love
unable to grow

can we take it back
forget what i said
blocked until the next time
left me on read
regret what you said
thought the best time

headache in my chest
text message in your breath
hiding til the next time
creeping on the rest
if you just press send
we’ll forget the flatline
can someone give me a reason
saint Feb 2019
this is what i mean when i see people doing me
but i already moved on and their out of my lives?
so you can stay behind while i see the finish line
onto the cherry phase
Feb 2019 · 92
the instrumental
saint Feb 2019
big scene
no ring
pass time
to find the fast life

im breathing slow and moving fast
you talk a lot
so i'll have to pass

round up the lines and
im not feeling right
living a lie
just to find light

in a movie
just found out im the star
no one knew my name  
only that that i wasnt worth their time

the sun and the moon collided
and decided
that it was my time
and now all i can shout is

not you
go off
Feb 2019 · 294
not you
saint Feb 2019
thinking about the next
not you
not you
not you

thinking about the best
not you not you not you

dont want to hear about it anymore
not you.

no use in staying friends
i guess not
Jan 2019 · 133
the wait
saint Jan 2019
waiting for an email back
that maybe could change my life?
one step at a time
in line
down the only path
that could cross my mind
the reply
Jan 2019 · 75
Untitled
saint Jan 2019
if your too busy
then i assume you dont care
dont ask me for any more favors
Jan 2019 · 138
everything fades away
saint Jan 2019
can you?
will you?
trust you?
love you?
hurt you?
support you?
feel you?
relieve you?
be everything to you?
when i find you
Jan 2019 · 178
the villas on the east
saint Jan 2019
i can see through the window
but you can't see me
under the covers
and out of sight
ill hide in plain daylight
trying to not make a sound
but unsure of what i might overturn
keeping to myself
is the only thing I've learned
its far apart now
saint Jan 2019
she dreams in primarily colors
and listens to the same tune
i do
and i think about her
until i see the way she does  

flushed cheeks, loose sleeves
fourth of july is only for the lonely ones
no fireworks only strong connections and dreams of the sun
Jan 2019 · 109
write me when you miss me
saint Jan 2019
undercover for the next month-i'm trying to hide
please dont come looking
unless you really promise to be by my side
nice try
saint Jan 2019
you know?
that little voice inside your head leading you to believe that her work has depth and his work has insight and their work has character.
but what does your work have? can't its function be bigger than just a comparison to his, hers, theirs work. Is the work an extension of someone else- or is it a creation. A creation that was built from limb and slaved over for months until it was perfect. And perfect could not even describe it perfectly.

If its a comparison it cannot be anything more than a comparison.
Lets not get stuck there anymore.
figure it out
Jan 2019 · 157
and the reason is
saint Jan 2019
packing up my stuff, im leaving in days
i know its not goodbye
but its growth
a leap
a feeling
a new place with new experiences
and i could not be feeling better

this is all for a reason
saint Jan 2019
if you listen
and feel the energy
the world gives you signs
and helps you know
you're doing this right
the eclipse
Dec 2018 · 134
if i can do this
saint Dec 2018
i can do anything
and if i dont quit
then i am about to see
something bigger than before

a whole another level
its not even the same game
and the more i try
the harder it comes
but the more i see it through

the glass is foggy
but getting clearer everyday
getting glasses
Dec 2018 · 85
the edit
saint Dec 2018
not going through  it again
not gonna do it again
question the times you looked in my eyes

too far behind
left it on the left side
to the far side

the pretty music left me on the floor
and ill be curious forever more
the more i know
Dec 2018 · 80
todays focus
saint Dec 2018
the world is bigger
the world is brighter
there is more to accomplish
always more to do

more to love
more to change
small steps
Dec 2018 · 84
to poppy
saint Dec 2018
i hope that, if you ever feel not ok
or lower than low
if you ever feel hate,
or are blessed with love

that you know that your apart of a family
that is here for you
whomever you may become
thats my baby nephew right there
Dec 2018 · 106
assumptions
saint Dec 2018
being wrong isnt always bad
its just a reminder that sometimes you make something
out of nothing
and nothing comes from nothing
so why try and make something that isnt there
when you can focus on whats in front of you
try just a little harder tomorrow and youll get there
Dec 2018 · 137
climbing to the top
saint Dec 2018
i need you so much closer
and i scream your name
and i think about you every night
and i wonder how ill make it
without the sun in the sky
the green in the grass
the blue in the eyes
the yellow in the rays
that hit your face
and the last time I saw you
you were covered in grey

but i know
that it'll come when its meant to
no matter how far we climb and
how far we come
i need you so much closer
if we dont make it who will
Dec 2018 · 332
if not, ill stay with you
saint Dec 2018
if its not there it never will be
and not everything works out like your favorite song
the melodies so precise they take time
and time is of the essence and never for the weak
only the strong
and the stronger
can take the chance on someone
and give it the energy to make it work

the disappointment is never the other person
but rather
that you could've tried harder yourself
what did i do wrong
Dec 2018 · 96
monetary funds
saint Dec 2018
surviving but in a different kind of way
thriving off the art, the ideas, the concepts
its really all i need to live,

but when i cant support myself in the ways the world wants
i feel less
less than average
less than special
less than anything
no money, no food, no sleep

but trying harder and giving my everything
and that should count for something
eventually we will all get there
Nov 2018 · 92
the blessing
saint Nov 2018
its already been an hour. I  have a paper to write and a life to figure out by 3. coffee on my teeth and progress on my mind. the life i made for myself is all mine. but it took some time to realize, that life is more fun when you look at what else is being done, the amazing people that live, and the breathe that hangs low and makes you keep moving. it means more when you realize the process is the progress and the work is simply acquired time. not everything happens perfectly but everything happens the way its supposed to.

and thats just something that takes time to understand.

but you will soon,

and i pray for the day you do.
more than meets the eye
Nov 2018 · 101
regardless
saint Nov 2018
all the hard work
and all the days to look forward to
all the time we put in

its all paying off better than we ever thought it could

and everything we went through
with greater lengths  
all the times we thought we wouldn't see it through

we made it and this is just the beginning
everyday you can still go out and be proud of it
Nov 2018 · 174
3,2,1
saint Nov 2018
if you move forward, you impact more than you'll ever believe
just one shake makes the whole picture
get ready
Nov 2018 · 104
its probably just me
saint Nov 2018
spinning around in circles
is only worth it if you get better each time
and you stared me down in my backyard
and hoped to find out whether or not i survived

but that was never the point
and now it is never enough
is it worth it to try anymore
Nov 2018 · 197
all is well
saint Nov 2018
as long as we keep
floating,
we're drifting
and spinning away

further apart and my hands hurt
if i let go soon
the trees will be bleak
and the sky will bleed the red that runs from my eyes

all forgiven
and we run through the color corrected forest
hoping that this will be over soon
this staircase melody brings me to tears
Nov 2018 · 553
going dark
saint Nov 2018
writing the pain away
until my soul wont ache

and my sense of humor comes back
and I start seeing color in my day

because this black and white is hurting my eyes
and the lack of energy you're giving me is deceiving
find me here soon
Nov 2018 · 370
golden
saint Nov 2018
big head
bigger moves

can't forget that i did this and you did that

but either way we stay golden
i remember the progress
Nov 2018 · 126
deeper than before
saint Nov 2018
if we are talking about poems
ill break your heart
but if we are talking about power moves
ill break your neck

and if we are being honest
if you stay in my way
ill make you switch lanes
move over
Nov 2018 · 98
step back
saint Nov 2018
went from the follower to the leader
the listener to the bleeder
i cant be mad that all my children are poppin
who knew
Nov 2018 · 192
talk about closure
saint Nov 2018
go ahead and figure your life
while i sit back
and tell you all the things that you want to say

now i know that it wont be long
and my fingers can't sit still
let me write your next favorite trend
soooo unoriginal
Nov 2018 · 120
bittersweet
saint Nov 2018
finishing up the past four years of my life
and i could not be prouder
because i went through so much, yet still came so far

and i can only think that this is what the rest of my life holds
we're getting there
Nov 2018 · 222
baby steps
saint Nov 2018
the next part of my life is just around the corner.
we are staring each other in the face
and shes telling me its time

time to come see how good life can be
one step at a time
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