Breaths drawn against saline skin, hands murmur apologies as all absence is forgiven. Seconds stretch without end battle cries, faint now but rousing disturb the whispered dusk. A call to arms, precious in its cadence sings of life to forgotten senses and finally subdues the longing felt only in dreams of home.
We see ghosts in the eyes of all. Scarred lives bleed onto screens as spoon fed masses forget to use the word human.
Do they not bleed red?
We see fear fleeing war zones while we in our comfort zones mourn not the lives lost but the cost of the living.
We see children torn from wailing mothers. Crushed and bloated by the weight of water tiny bodies wash up lonely, suddenly silent now mascots for a cause they did not choose.
Inaction is the thief of humanity. Greed, it's protector, smiles down on the dying. There but for the grace of God...
What crowded heart So cold like the pit red in loss and hard with memory Away she said and lightly tread O'er summers better glory Voices rich for lust Remember paradise unstill And bathe in times winter
No more will I whisper my pain into storms in the hope that the thunder will hide the sound of breaking. No more will I wonder at the beauty of death and its promise of release, the monotonous metronome of blood dripping onto tile nor how it would feel to slowly swing, my life ebbing away as my eyes wonder at the stars they create. No more will I swallow the oblivion prescribed, I will not allow the erosion of my soul any longer, I refuse to become any less than this. No more will I question my existence within a monochrome world while all around others glory in rainbow hues.
I alone am the captain of my destiny.
There is beauty here should I choose to see it and I have turned my face away long enough.
I hate the smell of disappointment I hate the taste of losing The stings of failure keeps leaving holes in my soul I know I can't survive long in this pool of shame I can feel the grasp of death pulling me down deeper; Deeper Into the darkest place of my soul I try whispering onto you to yank me out But each time I whisper I see you pulling away.
Barbed words arsenic laced draw blood from the fickle, cracked and flayed this brittle heart cries out as mercy weeps. Flaws once endearing bring disgust as contempt marches in to dispel the myth we created. A return to walls, my worth reflected within the safety of mirrors as beauty hides decay beneath radiant dishonesty. Solace will not be found within the dawn. Painted and smiling I will become the lie you chose.
*listen to the silence of the breaking of my heart
Lyrics in italics - Black Mountain Mist by The Mission.