The smell of your skin
is too familiar
It’s almost like we’ve
gone back in time
   To the days when I could
   caress my favorite features
   of yours—your hands—
   without a second thought
but I’m wondering if
this is too much, if I’m
crossing a line, or
if I’m zig-zagging streams
on the bar graph of time
and a calamitous end
will meet all entangled

Your strengthening grip
on my hip assures me though,
that nothing outside of this
firm mattress covered by
sky blue sheets with bleach stained clouds
matters—at all—so let’s lay here
for ten hours straight
and bask in the warmth
of each other’s glowing souls,
reconnected at last,
   with old questions drowning
  in the abyss of the unknown
because why would I ruin a
moment so perfect as this?

empty pens
college newspapers
puzzles that we'll never do

silverware
thank-you cards

and a pile of graded papers
to help me remember;

to relish in the proof that
I once worked so hard (for you),
that there was a time I'd give myself
to writing, writing, writing words,
and you'd give yourself to
reading them.

the failure is now to face
my work and art and effort
that so easily came to me when it wasn't me
I was working for.

but it wasn't for you, either;
it was for your love.
but still I never passed.

You're beautiful, girl
more than you know--
the world screaming in your face,
it's hard to hear love at your ear.

you're young, not 'too small'
you have deep eyes, not a 'funny stare'
and into the glare
of the hurt and used,
stand stand stand
smile and be kind;
'everyone' includes you.

All skin has color
it's a lie to say 'white
as it is to call 'black'--
rejoice decoration
on everyone, which includes you.

Express with your face,
your voice, your arms--
it's not too long before
you'll silence yourself for
something you cannot name, only feel
and into the glare, stand stand stand,
be strong, be real.

I allowed my heart to be battered
by more than just myself
which was already too much

Don't pummel your heart
don't tell yourself lies
don't torture your mind
and begin to despise

don't relish in tears
don't scratch, pull and cut,
don't grab at the 'fat'
don't give in to that

you think it sets you apart?
it only sets you 6 under
along with the rest
of the dead souls blessed
with bodies they hated to death.