if i have to stand in the pouring rain waiting for you, so be it.
but you better bring a **** umbrella its getting cold.

i love like a cannibal,
allowing myself to swallow people whole
encompassing them in my being.
i let them sit in the curves of my ribs and and rest their head against my lungs.
maybe i love to hard

i hope to one day spend the cold and empty nights in the fullness of your arms.
i hope to look you in the eyes and declare my undying love to you.
i hope to one day shift through the sands of time letting you look at every individual grain.
i hope to love you until the everdying enternity.
i hope to be yours forever.

theres a road, i always drive past. full of cars, trees and bushes.
the wind always rustles and the trees always shake.
but the part that stands out is a little red and yellow playground.
stained by shoe souls, and childhood memories.
memories of a first kiss, a first fist fight, a first song, a finale hug.
a tiny playground, surrounded by woodchips and empty sonic cups.
lay abandoned, scattered with past memories.

youll pull me along, through the dust, the heat, the cold, through the world
and no matter the pain, the blood spilling down my arms
the rope burns across my fingers
ill hold on.
ill always hold on

you can smoke me away in empty boxes of marlboros,
or drown out my words in jameson.
but no matter how much **** you shove down your throat to forget me,
my shadow will always be imprinted in the back of your mind.
and my name will never leave your drunken tongue.

i sailed across the seven seas looking for you.
i captured sirens and monsters, hoping to find a part of your heart.
i watched the waves turn my stomach into swirling pits of nothingness, painting the seas green and blue.
i thought you said you loved the ocean..?
i thought you loved me, yet you keep me as a castaway

if only i could hold you while the sky slowly bleeds unto sunrise.
if only i could kiss your forehead as you softly breath into my chest.
if only i could pull you close to me in the early hours of the morning.
if only i could love you the way i want to, the way i need to.
i just wanna love you, because thats all im living for.

i can see
feel
touch
sense you.
but youre gone
forever
and ever
gone
and
in the ground.
why can i feel you  
talking
breathing
lurking.
youre here
arent you
please
dont hurt me.

in my vision i saw it clearly
our hearts became one
my hand in yours as we fell asleep
a glow emitting from where our bodies touch

the best way i can describe your skin against mine is of flower petals
soft, gentle, comforting
the way your body incapsulates me is that of a rose
beautiful and taunting
you always wondered why i called you my wildflower
maybe this will help

i tend to get upset when people misunderstand me,
and when they cant truly read me as a human being.
but then i remember i made myself this way.
i built these walls up around my soul brick by brick.
i pulled the veil over my heart to make everyone turn away.
i am my own worst enemy

i try my best to write my emotions into simple phrases, constructed of beautiful rhymes and rhythms.
but if im being honest my head is full of raging fires and hurricanes.
yet,
the only part that makes sense is my love for you.

i’m not sure who you love
who you give your light to
who your eyes shine for
but i know it’s not me

you left again.
leaving throw about memories and open wounds upon my skin
you scratched my insecurities into my chest
you tore the air from my lungs
you pushed my into my knees and laughed at my tears.
even after all this
you still expected me to cater to your aching heart.
and i ******* did

this place will always reside.
this place of love shown in
scrolls down the beach,
feral cats on my brothers street,
hugs when we first meet,
tear stains on my sheets.
this place will always be here,
just come back home and we can nurture it together

"you cant love someone until you love yourself"
*******.
i loved you more than ive ever thought to even love myself.
and god you made it seem so easy to love someone like me, so i started.
and now im in love with two people, you and me.
what a beautiful life it is

no matter how much i ponder the thought of forgetting you,
it still reminds me of you.
which makes it quite hard to forget

i’m good enough to be taken in heaping handfuls
to be displayed
to be ******.
but never will i be good enough to sing to
to hold
to be loved.

we laid in my bed until the early hours of the morning,
tracing the constellations of our love on to my ceiling.
but now i sit, staring endlessly at a ceiling full of constellations,
and no one to trace them with.

i cant keep hanging by your noose.
im tired of not being able to breath.
so go on and give your best to someone else.
they can get the best of you.
give them your all and slowly strangle them too.
im getting tired of starting again, so im done.
i refuse.

we are roses.
time passes and we grow, adding on petal after petal.
thorns cut through us and we wither away.
yet we are roses.
slowly growing into something so beautiful people cant avert their eyes.
the thorns dull and the petals bloom.
because we are simply roses.
blooming in the moonlight and,
we are beautiful.

so lets smoke some more, and wash away the night.
cause no matter what i do,
ill never be alright.

sometimes i feel that im no where near good enough
that no matter what i do ill never be enough for you
my body always will be
my wandering hands always will be
but **** my heart i guess
itll never matter
ill never matter

im addicted to you.
so please, give me a taste of your lips.
i cant live through these withdrawls.

butterflies in my head
my stomach
my arms
all around me.
you leave me with the fluttering feeling of their wings
their overwhelming colors
their need to be around you.
you leave me with butterflies in my tummy
flipping whenever they see you
and for some reason i cant get them to stop.
those **** butterflies

through days of darkness
and nights of bittersweet dreams
my love for you will never fade,
and neither will i

i can feel my heart slowly sinking in my chest,
and the only thing i can say is
its okay

my brain is suffocating me.
my body is a prison.
i’m tired of being me.
i’m trapped behind bars and the only sliver of freedom i have is when the blade grazes my skin.
i long for freedom.
to be free
of this prison, that is my body.

youre a sunset lover, while i linger till the sunrise.
you listen to the rhythm i listen to the beat.
you love warmth while i enjoy the cold.
we are perfectly imperfect for eachother...
right?

no we weren't forever.
the promises faded,
the smiles disappeared into sorrowful glances,
the laughing eyes turned into glossed over stares.
no we weren't forever,
but you made me feel like we would be.
so thanks for the hope i guess

step 1. cry into the abyss. scream until your lungs ache and your ribs bruise. beg, plead, pray, and whimper to a god that hasnt listened to your prayers since you were a child.
step 2. stare at the ceiling while you sit in agony, wonder if this feeling will ever go away. replay every happy memory in the back of your mind until you can almost feel their touch burning your skin
step 3. fall asleep in a heap on the bathroom floor, with tears staining your skin and chills covering your entire body. its to cold to sleep there, but you wont move.
step 4. repeat the last three steps every night until you are only a shell of your former self. a hollowed out piece of flesh and bone. shine a flashlight against your chest and watch as the hole in your heart glows
step 5. finally become human after months of rotting into your own prison. do your laundry, the smell reminds you of them. hold back the tears that sting against your eyelids.
step 6. hangout with your friends, force yourself to smile. laugh out a dry heaving laugh, look at your feet when your friends look at you funny
step 7. sit on your bathroom floor and relive the past, hold your knees to your chest as you do. it feels like a hug, but its not. its only your cold arms.
step 8. go outside, watch the sunrays dance around the trees. smile, a genuine smile. god its been forever, hasnt it. soak up those rays. tell your mom about your good day
step 9. put all their clothes into a box, purge your room of any memories you had of them. dye your hair, pierce your nose, reclaim the person you lost.
step 10. laugh again and move on.