I smile when the screen lights up knowing it's him ,
Getting flashbacks can't control my feelings within,
The giddiness I feel knowing what we have is so real ,
forever is what I feel when I think about him ,
his smile so bright his hugs so right,
he's my comfort,
The only drug I'll ever be addicted to .

It's behind my eyes everything I try to hide ,
Keep it all in is what I do ,
Let it consume me ,devour me
The things I go through is what they don't see ,
High up are my walls ,the pain seeps in ,
But that is just the beginning of my Oblivion ,sadness takes over,
It's never my time always on the sidelines,
My existence is like Alzheimer's never in memory,
I send them but they aren't heard,
my happiness has been cut like the wings of a bird ,

They run down my cheeks like a roof that leaks,
I am the outcast what defines me is my past,
Letting them down is what I always do,
Can't think of any reason why it's never my season,
To bloom, grow and show off my beauty,
To make everyone happy is my duty,
It seems that way my happiness is always at bay ,
can't wait to see that day ,
where everything goes my way ,

What hurts me the most is the strong composure I keep ,
Knowing everything is within me so deep ,
I love it the feeling of my chest constricting,
Everything coming down ,
That façade falling to the ground ,
Crying underneath the sheets I make no sound ,
To know it's whom I love that puts me in this position,
Gets me beyond recognition,

I'll never understand what they get from it ,
Hurting, destroying and controlling people,
Not anymore
I've had enough
I'm saying this is the end .

miles and miles we had walked ,
4:00 had become my favorite time,
Going to school without a single dime ,
sometimes I eat ,sometimes I don't ,
lightheaded at times but that didn't stop me,
The looks at school I got constantly,
when I announced I don't have any money,

The sadness I felt when I saw others who had it,
Tears are my food so I am always full,
Gut wrenching hunger tears through me daily ,
The look on her face when I leave for school ,
knowing her child will be hungry all day ,
My thoughts of a better life was all I thought about ,
Not having much I learnt how to do without,
Coming back from school was always the best ,
Because then I would eat forget the rest,
Alwyas thought about it as fasting ,
At times it all felt overwhelming,
But I knew better than dwelling in a life that had me drowning ,

Looking at them when evening came ,
Had parents that came for them when I had to walk in the rain ,
stones pricked through the hole in my shoe caused me pain,
Asked myself if I was praying in vain,

It all taught me how to be tough ,
To not cower when things get rough ,
The pain in my eyes is what causes me to survive,
Makes me think sometimes if I want to stay alive ,
They laughed because it was so funny not having rich parents with money,
what mattered was I had a family that love me ,

My sister's were my first friends,
said we will never leave each other til the end ,
It hurt me to think someday they will bend ,
And maybe won't answer my texts that I send,

I have accepted it all the sad truth that is my life ,
To overcome is my goal ,
For someone to hear my voice and thoughts ,
I now love the sadness my life brought.

There's something they have in common ,
her and the cold ,
Both seen as unwanted and as a terrible thing,
While they tremble and their teeth chatter during this time ,
She loves how her fingertips go numb ,
and her skin littered with goosebumps.

Broken promises, empty truth
Through all that I kept a positive mind,
I observed,what she deserved
was a better man
i wanted a better a