You don't know me.
Or my unrequited dreams,
You haven't seen my failure,
Or witnessed me endure,
You don't hear my heartbeat,
Or the patter of my feet,
You can't feel my nerves on end,
Or see how my fingers bend,
You don't know my secrets,
Or memories I'd like to forget,
You haven't heard me sigh,
Or stifle a small cry,
You've seen me everyday,
Said you love me in every way.
But how can that even be,
If you still don't know me?

I have a confession to make
I need you to act, no more hidden messages.
My body sweats every night in this cold, lonely bed
The cold sweat is rising, and I'm growing tired of treading the waters.
I'm submerged, and the air is escaping.

My eyes deceive me
Rendering me vulnerable to their pictures
Like echoing voices, their images swarm
Disfigured at first
But adapting to the waters, I am forced to spectate.

I keep fighting to stay afloat
I'm doing it alone, like you said
But I'm getting tired
And I cannot conjure your image to give me strength
I need you, I'm sorry.

I have kept up the charade with you
Never speaking of the truth
They change your words as they travel to my skin
The obstruct my imagining you with crowds of smoke.
I need you.
I need you to talk.

I am your eyelids and the train-tracks of your stitches. I am the cracks in your bones and the wealthy mind riches. I am the fluid of your language that speaks in every sentence of your prose, I am the syllable you cannot speak though your tongue still knows. I am the chapel of your rib cage and the rage that it slows, closing the gates to the crosses in rows. I am the dirt under your cuticle and the follicle of your skin, sprouting a thread of your body within. I am the anxiety of your brain and the ecstasy of your flesh, crawling at the sense that you attain and possess. I am your lost baby teeth and the way that they chatter, I am the neurons, the synapses, the white and grey matter. I am your saliva burning caverns in the cave of your time. I am the line of your lips and the lungs you call, "mine." I am your soul, your secrecy, your sanctity. Your spine.

Men who look like ferris wheels
every color representing different aspects of their personality

The first three words don't have to be beautiful
they just have to make sense
like connecting dots on paper

men who love with their fists
and hate with their mouths
who once were boys taking things apart
like remote controls their own fathers used to beat     Obedience into their small bodies.  Left them with a fury tattooed across their hearts
Just to give them the challenge of putting themselves back together

They buy their wive's flowers after
a four day bruise isn't so glaringly purple anymore
not so accusing-
kiss her broken ribs
and tell their children midnight stories

children trained as mood detectors
human robots
know when to shutup
speak when you are spoken to*

Men who speak like cutting boards
Every slice of the knives in their toungues leave
hollow aching missing parts
just to teach their children that not all
things can be put together once taken apart

whose daughter glues together the parts of old telephones
to spite the missing pieces
so every welt he beats into her bones
she sings herself unbroken
until she stands robust and imperfect
there are holes in her armour
but she holds it together

with her fathers fists.

I feel like its a cancer
growing inside of me,
Deep within the caverns of my calloused heart,
and I can do nothing but feel
Pain
that hallow ache
of nothingness
And the fact I can do nothing,
No word i mutter, no act I do, not a single element of my existence can cure you,
and therefore
I cannot help but bleed within, without stopping,
I cannot be anymore hurt,
Hemorrhaging inside,
Knowing that you have a disease out of my control,
All I can do is watch and pray,
Hoping one day it'll pass away

Break rules,
Burn houses,
Let them hate you,
Cause they already are going to,
Be wild,
Be messy,
Don't let them tell you what you can and cannot do,
When they go left,
Go right,
Make a path,
Unbridle your soul,
And hurt,
Don't be so **** afraid,
This earth is so young,
Have fun,
And don't listen to all the dream crushers,
The teachers, the professors,
Rip out pages of books,
And run wild, be an untamable life,
Enlightened those surrounded you,
Nobody got anything done by following laws,
They followed the stars and won

I'm nervous about nothing,
Is that even possible, or normal?
I'm worried.
And I'm worried that something will make me worry more,
I'm stressed to the test
I feel like I'll shatter,
Like a glass window,
In pieces I'll fall,
Someone out there, hear my plead,
Catch me,
Cause my mind is being murdered by thoughts
Like roaring ocean waves,
Back and forth,
Breaking me like the beach,
I'm being ebbed away by my own inner shore,
So help before I become my very own enemy